1 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,183 - Bonnie? - Who is it? 2 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,730 Donovan? 3 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,110 - Bonnie? - Yes? 4 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,239 Donovan! 5 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:47,583 In here. 6 00:02:55,884 --> 00:03:01,013 - Yes? Donovan, is everything all right? - Yeah, the production meeting was put off, 7 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:04,349 - so I thought... Who's here? - Here? 8 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:06,602 Hmm. Who owns that piece-of-shit van down there? 9 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:07,936 Oh! 10 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:13,150 It's just a guy going door to door selling pool cleaner. 11 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,903 So why'd he lock himself in the den? 12 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,698 Well, he... Oh, God. 13 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:25,621 - You remember my friend Ollie? - Ollie Olerud? Short, cretinous wanker. 14 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,208 - Ollie's in there? - Yes. 15 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,585 I see. 16 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,881 Well, I'm glad he finally got himself a job. 17 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:40,302 I'd always picked him as some sort of deadbeat, but happy to be proved wrong. 18 00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:44,181 So he's selling pool cleaner now? Well, this is the neighborhood for that. 19 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,825 Just door to door, "Running low on chlorine?" That kind of thing. 20 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:51,772 It's quite a coincidence him dropping by, and you two knowing each other so well. 21 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:54,566 Donovan, please. Let's just all talk. I mean, I think... 22 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:58,070 How you doing, Donovan? How you doing, man? 23 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,906 Good day, Ollie. I'm great. You? 24 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:05,869 - Hey, can't complain, man. - Excellent. 25 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,080 Well, let's get right down to it, then, shall we? 26 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,540 We'll take a couple of vacuum hoses. 27 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,585 We probably need a new filter around about now. Maybe... 28 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,797 Wait a minute, darling. Do we actually have a swimming pool? 29 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,759 Okay. Okay, man. Now let's be reasonable about this, okay? 30 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:24,763 So you caught me porking... Having relations with your old lady. 31 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:25,847 God. 32 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:30,477 And now, we're all feeling just a little bit embarrassed by the whole thing, so... 33 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:36,024 What the hey, man? I mean, I know it's a drag and all, but these things... 34 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:41,363 Hey! Hey, hey. We didn't actually have sex. 35 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:46,034 I was depressed, 'cause I'm impotent, you know. 36 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,620 Unable to achieve an erection. 37 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:53,709 I have been for over a year now, man, and I needed someone to talk to. 38 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,712 I mean, think about it, man. A year without an erection? 39 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,505 Leave him alone! 40 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,637 You should have seen this coming, you Australian piece of shit! 41 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:09,850 Bitch. That's my Daytime Television Lifetime Achievement Award. 42 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,143 Cheesy bastard! 43 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,731 You whore! 44 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:19,985 Christ! 45 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,572 Okay! 46 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:29,077 All right, you want fun and games? All right. 47 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:34,291 I'll give you fun and games. Explain this away. 48 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,259 Ollie! 49 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,970 That's my Jag! That's my Jag! 50 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,973 That's my bloody Jag! 51 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,936 You bitch! Bitch! Bitch! 52 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,606 Bye-bye, baby! 53 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,109 Oh, what are you looking at? 54 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,493 Explain this away, darling. 55 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,696 - Miles Massey's office. - Hey, it's me. Any messages? 56 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,199 - Yeah. Quite a few. Where are you? - Just whitening. 57 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,159 Jim says he wants a meeting today if possible. 58 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,037 - What else? - Chapman says his wife is now in Tahoe. 59 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,706 All right, tell Amstedler I'll return in 20 minutes. 60 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,460 Get Wrigley to look up Oliphant V. Oliphant, Commonwealth of Virginia, 61 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,379 for its relevance in the Chapman filing. 62 00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,464 Oliphant v. Oliphant. Relevance in Chapman. 63 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,091 She said she took the kids to Tahoe? 64 00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:12,895 - That's right. - Wait. Which side of Tahoe? 65 00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:14,010 She said it was a cruise. 66 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,930 Yeah, well, if the cruise goes all the way around the lake, 67 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,473 she's left the state, and she's in breach. 68 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,060 Tell Wrigley to prepare a filing to attach. Mmm-hmm. 69 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:27,232 Everything. Primary residence, beach house, ski cabin, auto, stocks, bonds, dental floss. 70 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,400 Gonna lose you. 71 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,568 Uh-huh. 72 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,319 And tell Fred Armatrading that 73 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,989 we have pictures of his wife with the oral surgeon. 74 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:37,450 Oh, and get a fruit and pastry basket in the conference room for my 9:30. 75 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,910 Didn't have time for breakfast this morning. 76 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,414 - Where are you? - Coming at you. 77 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:46,167 - Your 9:00 is here. Bonnie Donaly. - Bonnie Donaly. 78 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,677 Mrs. Donaly. 79 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:04,811 Mmm-hmm. 80 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:12,027 Yes, your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures. 81 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,739 And, yes, absent a swimming pool, 82 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,658 the presence of a pool man would appear to be suspicious. 83 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:23,705 But, madam, who is the real victim here? Let me suggest to you the following. 84 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,459 Your husband, who on a prior occasion had slapped you, beat you. 85 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,583 - I think that word is not inappropriate. - No, I... 86 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:33,548 Let me finish, please. I'm not concerned with who slapped whom first. 87 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,592 Your husband, who had beaten you repeatedly... 88 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:36,676 No, he never... 89 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,971 Please. Repeatedly, was at the time, brandishing your firearm. 90 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,057 - It was his gun. - And we'll get it back for you. 91 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:47,562 Trying, in his rage, to shoot an acquaintance, a friend of long standing. 92 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,730 They never really cared for each other. 93 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,900 And if not for your cool-headed intervention, 94 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,944 his tantrum might have ended this schmo's life and ruined his own. 95 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:59,783 As for the sexual indiscretion which he imagined took place, 96 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:03,328 wasn't it, in fact, he who was sleeping with the pool man? 97 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:10,168 No? Am I going too far here? Were his sexual... No. 98 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,253 - I don't... - Sorry. I'm not omniscient. 99 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,216 The point is that he acted upon an assumption which he cannot prove, 100 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,010 and, I take it, you deny. 101 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,970 - Well... - Fine. I'll take the case. 102 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,349 It's imperative that I meet with Oliver Olerud before we proceed any further, 103 00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:28,520 so that I can massage the kinks out of our testimony. 104 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,730 Do you really think we could put all this across? 105 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,983 The truth is so self-evident to me, Mrs. Donaly, 106 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:38,405 that I'm sure that I'll be able to make it equally as transparent to any jury, 107 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,365 should your husband decide to take it that far. 108 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:44,202 We'll need to caucus again to draw up a picture of your husband's net worth. 109 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:48,123 A map of enemy territory, so to speak. You said that he's a television producer? 110 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:51,292 He has a soap opera, The Sands of Time. It's a silly show. 111 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:54,713 Well, it'll be yours soon. Thank you very much. 112 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:58,341 - Oh, thank you, Mr. Massey. - Yes. Bye-bye. 113 00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:04,055 Still you have to admire him for taking those pictures. 114 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:07,559 Now, Mrs. Gutman, you testified 115 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:13,565 that you were your husband's sexual slave for 36 years during your marriage. 116 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:17,610 Except for two years when he was in the Navy in Southeast Asia. 117 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,572 And before your marriage, what was your profession? 118 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,283 I was a hostess for BraniffAirlines. 119 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,702 And what is your husband's profession? 120 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:31,166 He manufactures staples and industrial brad tacks. He's very successful. 121 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:36,087 How would you describe your husband's sexual proclivities? 122 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:40,675 Well, at first, he was a very gentle and tender lover. 123 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,470 But then he became more and more fixated 124 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,306 on toys and machinery and devices of various kinds. 125 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:50,602 I can't help it. You don't decide to become bored. It just happens. 126 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,855 You're just looking for trouble. It's a midlife crisis. 127 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:57,066 Look, get yourself a new car. 128 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:02,405 I have a new car. I have two new cars. I have a tab at the Mercedes dealership. 129 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:06,284 Torn the house down twice. Rebuilt the cabin in Vail. 130 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,787 Got three of those yard people. 131 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:12,332 - Gardeners. - Gardeners. Got a man who waxes my jet. 132 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:17,462 These encounters were videotaped. Sometimes there would be a gismo. 133 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:22,008 - A gismo? - He had a device he called The Intruder. 134 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,886 It was something he had the engineers at the factory design. 135 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:29,098 And then he had a prototype built out of the parts from our vacuum cleaner. 136 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,225 I see. 137 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,311 So the vacuum cleaner wasn't available to me for several months. 138 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,773 - Several months without the appliance? - Yes. 139 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,150 Problem is everyone is willing to compromise. 140 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:43,696 That's the problem with the institution of marriage. It's based on compromise. 141 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,825 Even through its dissolution. Mrs. Gutman here, 142 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,245 she's gonna score some points concerning her husband's sexual politics. 143 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,788 Naturally, we'll try to impeach. 144 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:55,250 And then the entire process will find an equilibrium point 145 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,836 based on the skill of the individual lawyers. 146 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,840 And then both parties will go home with their portion of the staple factory. 147 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:06,052 - That's life. Life is compromise. - That's not life. That's death. 148 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:13,059 Struggle and challenge and ultimate destruction of your opponent, that's life. 149 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:19,983 Let me ask you something. Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. 150 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,609 What do they have in common? 151 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,364 - Middle name? - No, they didn't just win. 152 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:29,534 - They destroyed. - Mr. Massey? Mr. Massey? 153 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:33,788 Again I ask, have you any questions for the complainant? 154 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:39,252 I'm sorry, Your Honor. I was just consulting with an associate. 155 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:45,174 Now, Mrs. Gutman, do you know a man named David Gonzalez? 156 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,179 Well, he's the tennis pro at the club. 157 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,640 The tennis pro? 158 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:58,980 Then why are your letters addressed to him, "Dear, David and Goliath"? 159 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:26,007 Go, Rexie! Go, Rexie, baby! 160 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,684 Whoo-hoo! 161 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,486 Cabin seven. 162 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,866 Choo-choo. 163 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:21,354 Choo-choo. 164 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,902 Choo-choo. 165 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,087 I'm gonna nail your ass. 166 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:48,297 Oh, yeah. I'm gonna nail your ass. 167 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:53,970 Boy, I'm gonna nail your ass. Your ass. The old billionaire. 168 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,638 Come to papa. Come on. 169 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,890 I'm gonna get it. I got it. 170 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,352 I'm gonna nail your ass. 171 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,064 I'm gonna nail your ass. Yeah. 172 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,818 - This is a silly misunderstanding. - I'm gonna nail your ass. 173 00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,028 Get that thing off me now! 174 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:15,241 Yeah, I'm gonna nail your ass. I'm gonna nail your ass. I'm gonna nail your ass! 175 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,618 Yep. I nailed his ass. 176 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,580 I thought he'd outgrown trains. 177 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:23,583 They never grow up, lady. They just get tubby. 178 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,127 How charming. An aphorist. 179 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:30,590 Oh, yeah, I've always had ample proportions but believe you me, it's all muscle. 180 00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:31,716 I'm as hard as a rock. 181 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,385 I'm not one of these cream-puff, sit-behind-a-desk private dicks. 182 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,429 - I'm an ass nailer. - So I see. 183 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:39,807 Gym four times a week. Hour and a half, plus stretching. 184 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:44,145 Lifecycle. Lifestep. Lifecircuit. Gus Petch don't pussyfoot around. 185 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:48,566 I must say, for someone in your line of work, you don't exhibit a great deal of tact. 186 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:53,196 You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you call Gus Petch. 187 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,364 Christ, you seem to be taking it pretty good. 188 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,202 I've seen them come in here weep and wail like Baptists at a funeral. 189 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:02,705 Like they hired me to prove their husbands weren't fooling around. 190 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,542 - Don't get me wrong, Mr... - Petch. Gus Petch. 191 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:12,590 Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing, I am delighted that you found this material. 192 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:19,388 This is going to be my passport to wealth, independence and freedom. 193 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:24,185 Sounds like to me you gonna nail his ass. 194 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,861 Honey? Honey? 195 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,197 Rex, get away from the door. 196 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:43,746 Honey? My key doesn't work. Can we talk about this? 197 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,290 Rex, get away from the door. 198 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,042 Oh, look, I know that you're upset, honey. 199 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,796 Rex, for your own safety, get away from the door. 200 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,634 - I don't like having to set the dogs on you. - For crying out loud. If we could... Dogs? 201 00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:16,946 Yes, dogs. I wanted some security since I'll be living here alone. 202 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:19,699 Look, Marylin, can't we have a civilized discussion about this? 203 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:20,783 Our lawyers can. 204 00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:26,497 You've a discovery hearing at 5:30 for the Maxine Gopnik case. 205 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,999 - Discovery. Gopnik. - And a Lance Kelso called. 206 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,668 He read your article about palimony settlements in same-sex partnerships. 207 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:31,836 Lance Kelso. 208 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,671 - And would like to schedule an appointment. - Same-sex. 209 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,757 Arthur Yardumian and his tax attorney want to reschedule their caucus for tomorrow. 210 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,842 Yardumian. 211 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,468 Arthur had to fly to Atlanta for a deadbeat dad hearing. 212 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:44,557 - Atlanta. - And your 10:30 is here. Rex Rexroth. 213 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,768 - Rex Rexroth? - Real estate. He's okay. 214 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:54,692 - Mr. Rexroth. - Call me Rex, please. 215 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,612 Miles Massey. Please, sit. Relax. 216 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,948 Consider this office your office, your haven, 217 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,076 your war room for the duration of the campaign. 218 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:09,373 - Thank you. - Now, sir, tell me your troubles. 219 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:13,753 Well, my wife has me between a rock and a hard place. 220 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,963 That's her job. You should respect that. 221 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,926 When I first met Marylin, we were crazy about each other. 222 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,554 Not emotionally, of course. Just we couldn't keep our hands off each other. 223 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,140 But then... Then... 224 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:32,146 - Time marches on. Ardor cools. - Yeah. 225 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:36,067 So we had an understanding. 226 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,070 - Whereby? - We could see other people. 227 00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:43,658 Has Mrs. Rexroth pursued the opportunities implicit in your arrangement? 228 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,077 I can only assume. 229 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,497 Not in court you can't. Has she retained counsel? 230 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,667 I don't know. She has Rottweilers. 231 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:58,839 Not a good sign. And have you, yourself, exploited your understood freedom? 232 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:05,346 There's a lady, a young lady. She lets me be myself. 233 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:10,351 Of course. And your wife is aware and/or has evidence? 234 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,769 - Video. - Ha! 235 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:18,192 To cut to the chase, forensically speaking, is there a prenup? 236 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:28,160 "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves." 237 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:31,914 Let me ask you this, what kind of a settlement do you seek? 238 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,126 What are, for you, the parameters of the possible? 239 00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:39,255 Well, that's the problem. I can't afford to give her anything. 240 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,468 Nothing? 241 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,387 Well, yeah, I know that sounds a little rough, 242 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:50,474 but, listen, I'm about to close a deal to develop some mini-malls. 243 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,310 I am mortgaged up to my heinie. 244 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,604 If this deal goes south, I am ruined. I will lose millions. 245 00:21:55,689 --> 00:22:01,861 So you propose that, in spite of demonstrable infidelity on your part, 246 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:06,073 your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear. 247 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:09,243 Well, is that possible? 248 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:15,875 It's a challenge. 249 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:19,670 Why don't you come out to Malibu and see my new beach house tomorrow? 250 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:23,674 - I didn't know Dimitri had a beach house. - Neither did I until my lawyer found it. 251 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:26,969 Quite a paper trail. Had it in the dog's name. 252 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:30,431 Well, tomorrow won't work. I'm having a body wrap. How's Wednesday? 253 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:32,195 Hair appointment in the morning. Afternoon? 254 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,352 Shrink. How's your Thursday? 255 00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:37,104 I'm having facial injections. That kills Friday and Saturday. 256 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,523 - BOTOX? - Butt fat. 257 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,318 - Does that really work? - You tell me. 258 00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:43,819 Hello, darlings. 259 00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,367 So, you and Rex are... 260 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:54,038 Well, as my private investigator put it, "We're gonna nail his ass." 261 00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:58,459 I've been trying to nail George's ass for years, but he is so careful. 262 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:05,549 - Are you all right, Claire? - Down the wrong pipe. 263 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:09,387 - So who's your lawyer? - Freddy Bender. 264 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:12,723 I have an appointment this afternoon with Rex and his schnauzer. 265 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,351 - So who's Rex's guy? - Miles Massey. 266 00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:18,521 Miles Massey? Of Massey Myerson? 267 00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:20,481 - Do you know him? - By reputation, 268 00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:23,609 and, Marylin, he's no schnauzer. 269 00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:26,570 He got Phyllis Rumsey that cute little island of George's. 270 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,255 George was so impressed, he hired him when he divorced his second. 271 00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,826 - Muriel Rumsey. - Who's she? 272 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,829 Now? Night manager at McDonald's. 273 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:39,083 But, Marylin, do we have a man for you. 274 00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,001 Thorstenson Gieselensen. 275 00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,879 - He just separated from his third. - He's in fish. 276 00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:45,631 - He is fish. - Well, he's tuna. 277 00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:48,801 Ladies, I'm not seeing anyone until I've finished nailing Rex's ass. 278 00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:51,720 But, Marylin, this man is tuna. 279 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:55,182 Sarah, one husband at a time. 280 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,438 I'll do the talking. I know you'll be tempted to chime in, 281 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:03,941 but remember that you're in an emotionally vulnerable state. 282 00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:07,695 - I'm the professional. - Oh. Okay. 283 00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:09,447 Freddy. 284 00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:16,954 Freddy Bender, this is Rex Rexroth. And you are the lovely Marylin. 285 00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:20,875 Please, Ms. Rexroth. And you must be Mr. Massey. 286 00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:23,586 Please, Miles. Sit. Sit down. 287 00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:29,717 Freddy, I was sorry to hear about the Goldberger award. Pastry? 288 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:36,098 We did very well. We did very well. 289 00:24:36,183 --> 00:24:38,642 Not to worry, Mrs. Rexroth, you're ably represented. 290 00:24:38,727 --> 00:24:42,438 I'm sure Freddy's just too modest to tell you he used to clerk for Clarence Thomas. 291 00:24:42,522 --> 00:24:44,148 Pastry? Going begging. 292 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:49,236 Don't try to bait me, Miles. Now if you have a proposal to make, let's hear it. 293 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:53,991 Well, at this point, my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation. 294 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,785 My client has ruled that out. 295 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,371 My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution 296 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:02,416 - of the marriage without prejudice. - That's a fart in a stiff wind. 297 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,835 My client proposes a 30-day cooling-off period. 298 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,004 My client feels sufficiently dispassionate. 299 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:09,173 My client asks that you not initiate proceedings 300 00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,217 pending his setting certain affairs in order. 301 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,765 - What's so goddamn funny? - Please, let me handle this. 302 00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:21,894 All right. So much for the icebreakers. What are you after, Freddy? 303 00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:25,147 My client is prepared to settle for 50% of the marital assets. 304 00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:30,736 Why only 50, Freddy? Why not 100? 305 00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:34,406 While we're dreaming, why not 150%? Are you familiar with Kershner? 306 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:35,616 Kershner does not apply. 307 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,409 Bring this to trial, we'll see if Kershner applies. 308 00:25:37,494 --> 00:25:39,495 - What's Kershner? - Please, let me handle this. 309 00:25:39,579 --> 00:25:41,956 - Kershner was in Kentucky. - Kershner was in Kentucky? 310 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,958 - Kershner was in Kentucky! - All right, Freddy. 311 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:47,962 - Forget Kershner. What's your bottom line? - Primary residence, 30% of remaining assets. 312 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:51,131 What are you, nuts? Have you forgotten Kershner? 313 00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:56,554 - Freddy. It's a negotiation. - See you at the preliminary. 314 00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:01,517 Freddy, we're all friends here. It's a negotiation. Hey! 315 00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:06,355 Freddy! Fine. We'll eat the pastry. 316 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,825 I thought that went well. 317 00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:22,037 Oh, yeah. 318 00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:25,666 Gus, you outdid yourself. 319 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:32,339 - Let's go back to the football game. - Kiss my ass. 320 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:36,719 - It's halftime, man. This is some good shit. - I'm about to nail his ass, right here. 321 00:26:36,803 --> 00:26:38,762 Oh, Gussy, go back to the Rabinowitz tape again. 322 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:40,306 Hold on. Now here come the good part. 323 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:41,473 Look at this. 324 00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:45,102 - She about to take off her panties. - Yeah. Come on, come on, come on. 325 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:48,272 - Gus? - Mmm-mmm. Yeah? 326 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:50,774 - It's Miles Massey. - Take a number. 327 00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,777 - It's about a job tonight. - God damn it! 328 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,239 Shit, did you see that? 329 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:15,549 Here we are. 330 00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:19,720 Ms. Rexroth. I am so delighted you decided to come. 331 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:24,850 - I must admit, I was curious. - Something to start. Some wine, perhaps? 332 00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:27,936 - Red? - French. 333 00:27:28,021 --> 00:27:29,605 - Bordeaux? - Chateau Margaux. 334 00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:31,940 - '57? - '59. 335 00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:34,902 - '54. - Mr. Massey. 336 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,236 Good, sir. 337 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,613 Your husband had told me 338 00:27:37,697 --> 00:27:41,825 you were the most beautiful woman that he'd ever met. 339 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:45,996 I didn't expect the most beautiful woman I'd ever met. 340 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,958 "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery." 341 00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:52,628 "For where a heart is hard, they make no battery." 342 00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:59,301 "Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" 343 00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:03,972 Now you didn't ask me here to pick me up. You could be disbarred for that. 344 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,308 Maybe I'm reckless. 345 00:28:06,393 --> 00:28:08,234 What was your performance about this afternoon? 346 00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:09,728 What did your lawyer say? 347 00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:13,982 Oh, Freddy thinks you're a buffoon. He says you've been too successful. 348 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:17,736 You're bored, complacent, and you're on your way down. 349 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,863 - But you don't think so. - How do you know? 350 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,990 - Why would you be here? - Why did you ask me? 351 00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:23,492 - Can't I be curious? - About what? 352 00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:26,036 - Do you ever answer questions? - Do you? 353 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,664 I'll have the tournedos of beef. The lady will have the same. Thank you. 354 00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:30,749 Thank you, sir. 355 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:33,127 I assume you're a carnivore. 356 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:36,046 Oh, Mr. Massey, you have no idea. 357 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,882 Miles, please. 358 00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:41,385 Tell me more about yourself. 359 00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:46,807 All right, Miles. Let me tell you everything that you need to know. 360 00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:50,394 You may think you're tough, but I eat men like you for breakfast. 361 00:28:50,478 --> 00:28:53,355 I've invested five good years in my marriage to Rex, 362 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,567 and I've nailed his ass fair and square. 363 00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:59,111 Now I'm going to have it stuffed, mounted, 364 00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:01,947 and have my lady friends come over and throw darts at it. 365 00:29:02,031 --> 00:29:03,490 Man hater, huh? 366 00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:07,661 People don't go on safaris 'cause they hate animals. 367 00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:10,622 So it's just for the hunt with the trophy at the end? 368 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:12,916 No. Nothing so frivolous. 369 00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:19,798 This divorce means money. Money means independence. 370 00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:22,384 That's what I'm after. 371 00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:24,678 What are you after, Miles? 372 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:28,891 I'm a lot like you. Just looking for an ass to mount. 373 00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:33,520 Well, don't look at mine. 374 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,576 Yeah. Two, three. 375 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,147 I got you. See this? 376 00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:33,330 Yeah? 377 00:30:34,749 --> 00:30:40,003 I'll just have a salad, please. Baby field greens. 378 00:30:41,297 --> 00:30:42,464 What did you call me? 379 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:46,885 No, I didn't call you anything. 380 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:50,848 - You want a salad. - Do you have a green salad? 381 00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:55,018 - What the fuck color would it be? - Why are we eating here? 382 00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:56,895 What's his problem? 383 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:59,982 Just bring him an iceberg lettuce and a mealy tomato wedge 384 00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:02,234 smothered with French dressing. 385 00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:03,360 And for you? 386 00:31:03,444 --> 00:31:07,072 Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham. 387 00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:09,283 - Slaw cup? - What the hell. 388 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:10,909 Hello, Marge. 389 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,704 - How are you, Gus? - I'm all right. 390 00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:18,083 Okay. Now, I minoxed her address book. 391 00:31:18,167 --> 00:31:20,210 Don't call me anymore for this penny-ante shit. 392 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:24,798 - I shoot action. Me and the lkegami, Jack. - Thank you, Gus. 393 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:28,677 - And those Rottweilers were a menace, man. - I told you she had dogs. 394 00:31:28,761 --> 00:31:32,180 Yeah. But you didn't tell me they had a hard-on for anus africanus. 395 00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:35,225 Gus. Did you see any evidence? 396 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:40,397 Any "telltale signs" of indiscretion on the part of Ms. Rexroth? 397 00:31:40,481 --> 00:31:46,778 What are you talking about "telltale signs"? Look, I see an ass, I nail it. 398 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:50,490 I don't sneak around sniffing the sheets. God damn it, I'm Gus Petch! 399 00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:54,912 - Couldn't you be disbarred for that? - Oh, I don't think so. 400 00:31:54,996 --> 00:31:57,796 - Maybe if I'd had the patty melt. - You had a guy break into her house 401 00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,250 - and photograph her address book. - No, Wrigley. 402 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:04,087 I happened to let a man know that I was interested in her address book. 403 00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:05,172 That's not criminal. 404 00:32:05,214 --> 00:32:07,966 I also happened to let him know that I was taking her out to dinner. 405 00:32:08,051 --> 00:32:13,013 That's not a crime either. No, I don't see myself as culpable in any sense. 406 00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,265 You, on the other hand, could be disbarred 407 00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:18,602 for developing and examining these photos of her address book. 408 00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:22,022 But that doesn't really concern me. 409 00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:26,568 - Right. Who are you looking for? - Tenzing Norgay. 410 00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:30,572 Tenzing Norgay. That's someone she slept with. 411 00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:32,950 I doubt it. Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa 412 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,035 that helped Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest. 413 00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:37,245 And Marylin knows him. 414 00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:40,916 No, you idiot. Not the Tenzing Norgay. Her Tenzing Norgay. 415 00:32:42,543 --> 00:32:44,002 I'm not sure that I actually follow that. 416 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:48,048 Few great accomplishments are achieved single-handedly, Wrigley. 417 00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:50,175 Most have their Norgays. 418 00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:54,096 Marylin Rexroth is even now climbing her Everest. 419 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,389 I wanna find her Norgay. 420 00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:57,975 But how do you determine which of the people on here are... 421 00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:00,602 - How do you spot a Norgay? - Yeah. 422 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:02,813 You start with the people with the funny names. 423 00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:04,064 Oh, yea, oh yea! 424 00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:06,988 Family Court of the Fifth District of Los Angeles County now in session. 425 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:09,736 The Honorable Marva Munson presiding. All rise. 426 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:22,541 - Have you sat before her before? - No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit. 427 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:25,752 - Well, have you sat after her before? - "Sat after her before?" 428 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,754 You mean, "Have we argued before her before?" 429 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:31,008 The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge. 430 00:33:31,092 --> 00:33:33,677 So have you argued before her before? 431 00:33:33,761 --> 00:33:35,721 Before her before, or before she sat before? 432 00:33:35,805 --> 00:33:36,888 Before her before. 433 00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:39,933 - I said, "Before her before." - No, you said, "Before she sat before." 434 00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,977 - I did at first, but... - Look, don't argue. 435 00:33:42,061 --> 00:33:44,187 - I'm not. - No, you don't argue. We argue. 436 00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:45,605 - Counsel argues. - You appear. 437 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,024 - The judge sits. - Then you sit. 438 00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,276 - Or you stand in contempt. - And then we argue. 439 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,528 - The counsel argues. - Which you've done before. 440 00:33:51,612 --> 00:33:54,072 - Which we've done before. - Ah. 441 00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:55,282 But not before her. 442 00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:00,662 Rex. Sit. 443 00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:02,581 There it is! I got it! 444 00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:07,294 I'm gonna nail your ass. I'm gonna nail your ass. 445 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:09,796 I'm gonna nail your ass. Yeah! 446 00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:12,466 - I'm gonna nail your ass. - It's a silly misunderstanding. 447 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:14,885 Get that thing off me now! 448 00:34:14,969 --> 00:34:16,511 Yeah, I'm gonna nail your ass. 449 00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:20,932 I'm gonna nail your ass. I'm gonna nail your ass. 450 00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:34,988 Devastated. Simply devastated. 451 00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,283 Thank you, Mrs. Rexroth. 452 00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,121 Mr. Massey, any questions? 453 00:35:13,986 --> 00:35:17,447 "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery." 454 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:20,325 "For where a heart is hard, they make no battery." 455 00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:23,245 - Mrs. Rexroth, do you know those lines? - Objection, Your Honor. 456 00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:26,998 - Grounds? - Poetry recitation. 457 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:33,797 Let me rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, how high is that wall around your heart? 458 00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:39,136 Your Honor, this is harassment, and frankly, it's still a little arty-farty. 459 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,429 Rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, have you ever been in love? 460 00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:43,557 Yes. Of course. 461 00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:47,435 With Rex. 462 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,062 And you've always loved him? 463 00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:53,150 "Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" 464 00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:02,993 So it's your sworn testimony that you have loved Rex Rexroth 465 00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:04,870 since first you met? 466 00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:08,915 Yes. 467 00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:12,836 Thank you. 468 00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:16,339 No further questions, Your Honor. 469 00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:19,342 - Who's next, Mr. Bender? - We rest, Your Honor. 470 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,052 Mr. Massey. 471 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:24,264 Your Honor, I call Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy. 472 00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:33,099 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy. 473 00:36:33,482 --> 00:36:35,734 - Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy! - Problem? 474 00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:36,818 Puffy. 475 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:40,113 - Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy! - Tenzing Norgay. 476 00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:06,223 - Mr. Krauss, do you solemnly swear that... - Krauss von Espy. 477 00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:10,185 - Mr. Krauss von Espy, do you solemnly... - Baron Krauss von Espy. 478 00:37:10,269 --> 00:37:11,686 Solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to give 479 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:12,896 shall be the truth, the whole truth 480 00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:14,022 nothing but the truth, so help you God? 481 00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:16,274 No maybes. 482 00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:18,902 But of course, yes. 483 00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:22,447 - The Baron does not lie. - Have a seat, sir. 484 00:37:23,115 --> 00:37:25,533 - Did you sleep with him? - Don't be a fool. 485 00:37:26,702 --> 00:37:28,078 Shh. Elsbieta. 486 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:33,959 Baron von Espy, what is your profession? 487 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:36,795 Silly man. I am a baron. 488 00:37:36,879 --> 00:37:42,092 Yes, but do you not also hold a day job, paying job, a square job? 489 00:37:42,176 --> 00:37:44,261 Well, one has to live. 490 00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:47,430 I am the concierge of Les Pantalons Rouges 491 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:50,684 at Bad-Gadesbourg in the canton of Uri. 492 00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:53,270 And what does that job entail? 493 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:56,606 I satisfy such requests as the clientele may present. 494 00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,608 Towels, ice, et cetera? 495 00:37:58,693 --> 00:38:00,735 We have bellmen for that. No, no, no. 496 00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:05,282 Such requests that, were you at home, you would address not to your valet, 497 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:07,200 but to your majordomo. 498 00:38:08,744 --> 00:38:11,579 I see. Baron, do you recognize that woman? 499 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:14,541 Chere Marylin. But of course. 500 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,960 Look who is here. Hi! 501 00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:22,799 And she was a guest of the Red Trousers? 502 00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:28,722 Oh, many times for relaxing and making Alpine recreation. 503 00:38:29,890 --> 00:38:30,932 Mmm-hmm. 504 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:35,478 I am curious about her visit of five years ago. January, 1998. 505 00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:39,607 Can you remember any specific request she made at that time? 506 00:38:39,692 --> 00:38:41,109 Yes, I can. 507 00:38:41,193 --> 00:38:44,321 And what, at that time, did she tell you she required? 508 00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:49,242 She said that she required a husband! 509 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:55,248 Do you want some bones, huh? Does Elsbieta want some bones? 510 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,208 Has anyone any bones? 511 00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:01,171 Does anyone have any bones? Bones? Dog candies? 512 00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:05,300 No, they are not candies. Milk-Bones. Hard, crunchy bones for the teeth. 513 00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:06,384 Hard... 514 00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:10,513 We'll attend to the dog later. 515 00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:13,391 Now, Baron... Where were we? 516 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:19,689 "She said that she required a husband." 517 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:23,068 "Do you want some bones? Does Elsbieta want some bones?" 518 00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:25,695 "Has anyone any bones? Hard, crunchy bones for the..." 519 00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:26,946 Right. 520 00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:31,576 Now, a husband. That's an unusual request. 521 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:34,371 Did she specify what kind of a husband she was looking for? 522 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:35,997 - Stop him. - Objection. 523 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:39,376 - Grounds? - Hearsay. 524 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:40,543 It's not secondhand, Your Honor. 525 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,421 This is direct testimony about the Baron's own conversation. 526 00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:44,839 I'm going to allow it. 527 00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:49,511 She said she wanted a very rich husband. 528 00:39:49,595 --> 00:39:55,183 She wanted to know the businesses and the wealths-es... The wealths-es. 529 00:39:55,267 --> 00:40:00,063 Can I say this? Wealths-es of our various eligible guests. 530 00:40:00,147 --> 00:40:02,482 And did she have any other specifications? 531 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:05,944 - Objection, Your Honor. Inflammatory. - What's good for the gander, Your Honor. 532 00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:08,238 Is this a legal argument. "What's good for the gander"? 533 00:40:08,322 --> 00:40:09,406 You got to play your tape, Freddy. 534 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:12,367 Mr. Massey has a point there. I'm going to allow it. 535 00:40:12,451 --> 00:40:15,036 Were there any other specifications? 536 00:40:15,121 --> 00:40:18,081 She specificated a silly man. 537 00:40:18,165 --> 00:40:20,565 - Objection, Your Honor! - I'm going to allow it. 538 00:40:20,626 --> 00:40:24,254 She specificated a man who, though clever at making money, 539 00:40:24,338 --> 00:40:26,965 would be easily duped and controlled. 540 00:40:27,049 --> 00:40:29,259 - Objection, Your Honor. - Shut up, Freddy. She's allowing it. 541 00:40:29,343 --> 00:40:33,096 She specificated a man with a wandering pee-pee. 542 00:40:33,180 --> 00:40:37,600 How you say? A philanderer whose affairs would be transparent to the world. 543 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:38,685 Objection, Your Honor! 544 00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:43,440 Finally, a man whom she could herself brazenly cuckold 545 00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,984 until such time as she might choose to... 546 00:40:46,068 --> 00:40:48,653 We would say, "Faire un coup de marteau sur des fesses." 547 00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:51,656 You would say, "Make hammer on his fanny." 548 00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:55,285 - Your Honor, objection! Irrelevant! - I'm going to allow it! 549 00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:58,288 Tell us, Baron, did you introduce her to such a man? 550 00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:00,540 Sir, I am the concierge! 551 00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:03,293 And to whom did you introduce that calculating woman? 552 00:41:03,377 --> 00:41:07,380 I introduced her to that silly man. 553 00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:10,049 Your Honor, objection! 554 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:14,137 Let the record show that the Baron has identified Rex Rexroth as the silly man! 555 00:41:14,221 --> 00:41:18,516 I did it! It was I! I introduced her to that silly man! 556 00:41:18,601 --> 00:41:19,684 You son of a bitch! 557 00:41:19,768 --> 00:41:22,562 The red-faced angry one. I introduced them! 558 00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:26,107 Absolutely! I did it! It was I! 559 00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:29,986 - I just love trains! I love trains! - If you please, sir! 560 00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:34,407 I'm not sick! You're the one who's sick! 561 00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:38,578 If you please, sir, not the larynx! 562 00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:41,122 Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness! 563 00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,082 I'm going to allow it. 564 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:49,672 Well, I think it stinks. They left you with nothing. 565 00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:52,675 Makes you wonder about the entire legal system, 566 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,136 like Rodney what's-his-name. 567 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:57,096 They bought Massey's argument. 568 00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:00,016 If I lied and cheated and was with Rex only for his money, 569 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,580 then he shouldn't have to give me any. 570 00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:05,188 Well, that makes no sense. Why else would you put in all those years? 571 00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:10,527 - Are you all right, Sarah? - Yeah. 572 00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:14,197 - What is it? - Peptic ulcer. 573 00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:18,326 I have medication, but I can't take it before elective surgery. 574 00:42:20,454 --> 00:42:24,499 - You shouldn't be living here alone, Sarah. - My goddamn husbands gave me the ulcer. 575 00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:27,460 But a bottle of Bromo can't love you back. 576 00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:31,214 Yeah. It's a catch-22. 577 00:42:31,298 --> 00:42:37,136 I have to admit, I don't like living alone. I mean, do I need 46 rooms? 578 00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:40,723 - You could see people. - It's risky. Palimony. 579 00:42:40,808 --> 00:42:44,018 Son of a bitch Marvin Mitchelson. 580 00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:49,065 I'm telling you, honey, getting laid is financial Russian roulette. 581 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:53,570 Maybe I should just tear it all down, build a cottage. 582 00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:55,530 More landscaping. 583 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:02,745 Well, with my money, I can't afford to be fooling around. 584 00:43:02,830 --> 00:43:05,748 And besides, I have you. It'll be fun, just the girls. 585 00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:10,003 Well, thanks, Sarah, but I can't sleep on your couch forever. 586 00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:15,550 I'm going to marry again, nail the guy's ass good. 587 00:43:17,052 --> 00:43:20,346 And this time, there'll be no Puffy von Espy. 588 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,322 Knock, knock. Excuse me. Mr. Donaly? 589 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:39,991 Mr. Donaly? 590 00:43:40,075 --> 00:43:41,951 Mr. Donaly, excuse me. 591 00:43:43,537 --> 00:43:46,497 - You are Donovan Donaly? - I'm in a meeting. 592 00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:49,500 Mr. Donaly. I need a name. 593 00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:58,926 And of course, we will have to litigate. Sentence, paragraph. 594 00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:05,350 Naturally, the first concern for both parties is the welfare of little Wendell Junior. 595 00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:08,978 Nevertheless, we do question whether the continuing expenses 596 00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:11,606 for his special ed classes are truly justified, given the great strides... 597 00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:16,361 Mr. Massey, the senior partner would like to see you. 598 00:44:17,696 --> 00:44:20,365 - Herb wants to see me? - If you have a moment. 599 00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:53,815 Oh! 600 00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:57,777 Fourteen summary judgments sought. 601 00:44:58,904 --> 00:45:00,154 Thirteen granted. 602 00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:07,036 Eighteen movements to void for respondent's prejudice. 603 00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:08,871 Eighteen granted. 604 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:12,917 Twelve court days on the Rexroth case alone. 605 00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:19,382 Three hundred and twenty billable hours paralegal services. 606 00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:26,264 Six hundred and eighty billable at full attorney rate. 607 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:31,853 Eighty-five lunches charged. 608 00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:52,582 Counselor, 609 00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:58,629 you are the engine that drives this firm. 610 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:09,348 Mr. Massey? 611 00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:12,894 Please, no calls. I'm feeling a little fragile. 612 00:46:12,978 --> 00:46:15,521 I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know. 613 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,148 Marylin Rexroth wants to see you. 614 00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:20,109 Marylin. When did she... 615 00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:21,944 She's here now. 616 00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:25,114 Is she armed? Give me a minute. 617 00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:39,378 Marylin. How nice of you to... 618 00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:43,758 Marylin, shame on you. 619 00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:47,887 Marylin, what a lovely surprise. 620 00:46:51,016 --> 00:46:52,975 Marylin, what a... 621 00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:56,896 - Who the hell are you? - Hello, Miles. So nice of you to see us. 622 00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:03,528 May I introduce Howard D. Doyle of Doyle Oil. 623 00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:05,530 I'm goddamn pleased to meet you. 624 00:47:05,614 --> 00:47:08,074 Marylin here, she says you're the best. Says you're aces. 625 00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:10,827 Well, thank you, Mr... 626 00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:15,414 Any relation to John D. Doyle of Doyle Oil? 627 00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:18,835 Oh, you must be talking about Grandpa John. My papa's John D., too. 628 00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:21,504 The Deuce, we called him. You know, kind of the rebel of the family. 629 00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:23,548 But they knocked off that whole John D. Routine 630 00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:25,299 when they christened little old yours truly here. 631 00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:27,510 Grandpa nearly had a stroke. 632 00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:30,388 He did have a stroke, but that was later, during the labor activity in '52. 633 00:47:30,472 --> 00:47:33,975 The government stepped in. They called it mediation. 634 00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:38,020 He called it incipient communism, you know, and of course, that's when he had his stroke. 635 00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:41,357 Golly, the whole left side of his body is as useless as tits on a boar hog. 636 00:47:41,441 --> 00:47:44,694 - He lingered in a vegetative state for years. - Well, that is fascinating, Mr. Doyle. 637 00:47:44,778 --> 00:47:46,654 - What say we have a seat? - A seat? 638 00:47:46,738 --> 00:47:50,199 Here Marylin's had me runnin' up and down Rodeo Drive all day long. 639 00:47:50,284 --> 00:47:52,952 Kind of hit-and-run shoppin', you know. Take no prisoners. 640 00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:56,122 Forced march kind of thing. My God, my dogs are barkin'. 641 00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:57,832 We started out at this little old place 642 00:47:57,916 --> 00:47:59,542 - right off of Wilshire... - It's been quite a day. 643 00:47:59,626 --> 00:48:00,835 - Had pewter things. - But anyway, Miles, 644 00:48:00,919 --> 00:48:06,674 I know you're busy, and you charge by the hour, so I'll get straight to the point. 645 00:48:06,758 --> 00:48:09,677 Howard D. And I are planning to marry. 646 00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:14,765 Well... 647 00:48:15,642 --> 00:48:18,060 Well, I suppose that congratulations are in order. 648 00:48:18,145 --> 00:48:20,396 Well, thank you, Miles. You know, the urge to wedlock 649 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:24,817 and form a lasting monogamous bond sanctified by ritual, it's pert-near universal. 650 00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:28,404 As a matter of fact, it might be of some interest to you, being in a related business. 651 00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:31,365 Even your indigenous Americans, I believe it was your Cree, used to... 652 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:35,661 Howard and I are here because I've learned through bitter experience 653 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:40,207 that when it comes to matrimony and law, you are the very best. 654 00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:43,920 And as you are well aware, my previous marriage 655 00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:48,549 ended in an unjustified stain upon my reputation. 656 00:48:49,509 --> 00:48:54,055 My motives were impugned. I was slandered in court. 657 00:48:54,139 --> 00:48:56,724 I was painted a harlot. 658 00:48:57,517 --> 00:49:00,394 - Oh, honey, you ain't no harlot. - Oh, yes, honey. 659 00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:04,899 So it's my desire to remove any trace of suspicion 660 00:49:04,983 --> 00:49:08,945 from the mind of my dear Howard Doyle. 661 00:49:09,029 --> 00:49:10,780 Oh, honey, come on, now. 662 00:49:10,864 --> 00:49:12,949 I wish to execute a prenuptial agreement. 663 00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:16,494 And I'm dead-set against it. I mean, just anti the whole deal. 664 00:49:16,578 --> 00:49:20,331 Howard's lawyers prefer it. I insist upon it. 665 00:49:20,415 --> 00:49:24,251 Oh, damn lawyers. No offense to the present company or anything, you know. 666 00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:29,090 Now, is it my understanding that the Massey prenup has never been penetrated? 667 00:49:29,174 --> 00:49:30,424 That is correct. 668 00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:34,303 Not to blow my own horn, but they devote an entire semester to it at Harvard Law. 669 00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:36,472 They got a hell of a school up there. Ain't no doubt about it. 670 00:49:36,556 --> 00:49:38,641 We donated that Doyle building up there here a while back. 671 00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:39,725 Mmm-hmm. 672 00:49:39,810 --> 00:49:43,187 Now, I myself went to Texas A&M. I'm an Aggie. 673 00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:45,815 - Business? - Tight end. 674 00:49:45,899 --> 00:49:48,693 And I had a fair amount of success against the split-T defense. 675 00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:50,695 You see, when they line up symmetrical thataway, 676 00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:52,488 it allows me to buttonhook and, you know, 677 00:49:52,572 --> 00:49:54,865 do a down-and-in, and up-and-out and different things, 678 00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:59,120 post pattern every now and then. Your tight ends don't generally run a post. 679 00:49:59,204 --> 00:50:00,997 But if the QB calls it, hell, I'm ready. 680 00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:02,373 - Interrupt for a second? - Yeah. 681 00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:07,294 I wanna make sure that you both understand what it is you're asking. 682 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:11,215 The Massey prenup provides that in the event of a dissolution of the marriage, 683 00:50:11,299 --> 00:50:13,050 for any reason, 684 00:50:13,135 --> 00:50:17,388 both parties will leave it with what they brought in and earned during. 685 00:50:17,472 --> 00:50:20,891 No one can profit from the marriage. 686 00:50:20,976 --> 00:50:23,561 The prenup protects the wealthier party. 687 00:50:23,645 --> 00:50:28,232 Without it, that party is exposed, a sitting duck. 688 00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:34,280 - Not a hell of a lot of romance in that. - No, sir, there is not. No romance. 689 00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,866 More to the point, no wriggle room. 690 00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:42,830 So are we sure that this is what we want? 691 00:50:44,791 --> 00:50:46,542 Absolutely. 692 00:50:47,419 --> 00:50:51,005 It's my gift to Howard for his peace of mind. 693 00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:55,885 Whether or not he's worried about it at this moment. 694 00:50:55,969 --> 00:50:58,804 Oh, honey pie, do I look worried? 695 00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:04,185 Excuse me, Mr. Doyle. 696 00:51:04,269 --> 00:51:07,438 Could I just borrow your charming fiancée for a moment? 697 00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:10,399 Well, okay. You gonna leave a deposit? 698 00:51:16,782 --> 00:51:18,949 What are you up to? 699 00:51:19,034 --> 00:51:23,662 Something you won't understand, Miles. Howard and I are very much in love. 700 00:51:23,747 --> 00:51:26,123 I don't know what you're thinking, but I have to warn you, 701 00:51:26,208 --> 00:51:28,793 the Massey prenup has never been penetrated. 702 00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:32,505 You sign the prenup, you can't get his money. 703 00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:34,507 Thanks for the professional help. 704 00:51:34,591 --> 00:51:40,721 Marylin, think of me for a moment, not as an attorney but as a friend. 705 00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:43,599 Does that mean you won't be charging us for the hour? 706 00:51:43,683 --> 00:51:46,644 Dump him. You can't nail his ass. 707 00:51:49,272 --> 00:51:50,397 Is that all? 708 00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:54,068 No, that's not all. 709 00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:14,797 I could have you disbarred for that. 710 00:52:14,881 --> 00:52:16,382 It was worth it. 711 00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,886 A romantic divorce attorney. 712 00:52:26,601 --> 00:52:28,727 You fascinate me. 713 00:52:36,736 --> 00:52:40,573 I'll get right on it. I'll whip something up. 714 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,449 All right. Thank you. 715 00:52:43,451 --> 00:52:46,579 - How's Lionel? - He's fine. 716 00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:51,709 He asked me to deliver the keynote address at this year's convention in Vegas. 717 00:52:51,793 --> 00:52:54,086 - That's quite an honor. - I suppose. 718 00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:57,089 - On top of a great victory. - What was that? 719 00:52:57,174 --> 00:53:00,426 "What was that"? Rex Rexroth? 720 00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:04,096 He kept everything? You win? No compromise? Isn't that what you wanted? 721 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:10,895 Oh, good God, Miles. What are you looking for? 722 00:53:12,105 --> 00:53:13,606 I don't know. 723 00:53:16,109 --> 00:53:17,526 Okay, I won. 724 00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:21,280 What then? 725 00:53:21,364 --> 00:53:24,033 How many cases has Herb Myerson won? 726 00:53:24,117 --> 00:53:26,368 The old man? More than anybody. He's a legend. 727 00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,996 And look at him. He's 87 years old. 728 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:32,875 He's the first one into the office in the morning. No home life. 729 00:53:32,959 --> 00:53:34,710 Who needs a home when you have a colostomy bag? 730 00:53:34,794 --> 00:53:37,504 She can't really love this dope, can she? 731 00:53:37,589 --> 00:53:41,175 - Who? Who loves who? - Marylin Rexroth. 732 00:53:41,259 --> 00:53:45,137 She signed a prenup for an oil millionaire. 733 00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:49,516 A Massey prenup? 734 00:53:52,062 --> 00:53:56,482 - Yeah. - Well, then she is not after his money. 735 00:53:58,443 --> 00:54:02,071 Only love is in mind if the Massey is signed. 736 00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:46,991 What the hell's wrong with you? 737 00:54:58,044 --> 00:55:00,713 Thank you for coming to this celebration 738 00:55:00,797 --> 00:55:04,967 of the love between our two friends, Marylin and Howard. 739 00:55:05,051 --> 00:55:07,136 In today's cynical world, 740 00:55:07,220 --> 00:55:13,267 it's so hard to take that great leap of faith aboard the ship of love and caring. 741 00:55:13,351 --> 00:55:17,104 But today Marylin and Howard are taking that leap 742 00:55:17,188 --> 00:55:19,315 and telling us, their friends, 743 00:55:19,399 --> 00:55:24,278 that they do believe, that they do have faith, that they do love. 744 00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:28,449 Do you, Howard Drexler Doyle, take Marylin 745 00:55:28,533 --> 00:55:31,285 to be your shipmate on this journey through life, 746 00:55:31,369 --> 00:55:35,831 through gale and doldrum, seas choppy, wild, and calm? 747 00:55:35,915 --> 00:55:37,995 Yes, I do, Father Scott. 748 00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:42,629 And do you, Marylin Rexroth, take Howard to be your shipmate and companion 749 00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:47,092 to ports of every clime, be it in first class or steerage? 750 00:55:48,511 --> 00:55:49,762 I do. 751 00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:52,848 Then, by the power vested in me by the State of California, 752 00:55:52,932 --> 00:55:55,642 and as captain of the good ship Amore Veritas, 753 00:55:55,727 --> 00:55:58,187 I now pronounce you man and wife. 754 00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:20,876 What do you think? 755 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,213 - What are they, ladles? - Berry spoons. 756 00:56:24,297 --> 00:56:25,714 - Spoons? - Berry spoons. 757 00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:28,467 - Everybody has spoons. - And nobody needs berry spoons. 758 00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:30,886 - Everybody eats berries. - Who are you, Pollyanna? 759 00:56:30,970 --> 00:56:33,764 - Hey, everybody! Folks! Hey, y'all! - Where'd you see them at? 760 00:56:33,848 --> 00:56:36,392 A Martha Stewart catalog right next to the silver napkin rings? 761 00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:38,894 - I need your attention for a minute. - Stadium-seat ass-warmers? 762 00:56:38,978 --> 00:56:42,147 Dear God, Wrigley, how many cockamamie personal possessions do we have to amass? 763 00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:43,273 Miles, why so angry? 764 00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:45,484 Now, I know it's not common practice 765 00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:49,238 for the groom to give his bride a gift on their wedding day. 766 00:56:49,322 --> 00:56:53,534 But ever since I met Marylin there, I can't seem to quit givin' her things. 767 00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:58,997 And I don't wanna stop 'cause it feels so darn good! 768 00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:02,751 Chow Sing, bring that barbecue sauce over here, little buddy. 769 00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:04,586 There you go. 770 00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:07,673 Put that thing on my neck now. 771 00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:11,718 Now, honey, it's like the padre said. I want love and trust between us. 772 00:57:11,803 --> 00:57:14,430 Love, and trust, and not a thing else. 773 00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:17,599 And this here deed that I'm fixin' to perform. 774 00:57:20,562 --> 00:57:22,855 Well, honey, let me just... 775 00:57:26,025 --> 00:57:27,484 You see this? 776 00:57:35,827 --> 00:57:40,414 This is for you, darling. This here is for you. 777 00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:46,545 This here is for you, baby. Every last little speck of it. 778 00:57:46,629 --> 00:57:51,425 I love you. I mean, I love you like a son of a bitch! 779 00:57:53,386 --> 00:57:56,221 I trust you! 780 00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,807 - This here is for you, baby. - Brilliant! 781 00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:00,642 Baby, this is for you. 782 00:58:00,727 --> 00:58:02,686 - What is it? - I really love you. 783 00:58:02,770 --> 00:58:04,521 It's the prenup. 784 00:58:05,231 --> 00:58:09,109 I love her! I trust her! 785 00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:10,914 - Ladies and gentlemen... - It's the prenup! 786 00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:13,864 - I trust her! - Brilliant! 787 00:58:17,785 --> 00:58:19,453 You look so beautiful. 788 00:58:19,537 --> 00:58:23,832 Ladies, if you'll excuse us. We have to talk. 789 00:58:24,626 --> 00:58:29,671 I would like to offer my congratulations. It was a beautiful gesture of Howard's. 790 00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:34,718 Well, Howard is a beautiful person. A diamond in the rough. 791 00:58:34,802 --> 00:58:37,054 And I have a feeling that someday soon, 792 00:58:37,138 --> 00:58:40,349 you'll be taking that diamond and leaving the rough. 793 00:58:40,433 --> 00:58:44,520 In a month or so, once I've established that I've tried to make the marriage work. 794 00:58:44,604 --> 00:58:48,023 - May I offer my services? - Oh, thanks. 795 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:52,152 But, no. No, I'm retaining Freddy Bender. 796 00:58:52,237 --> 00:58:54,988 Poor Freddy. He was awfully blue after my last divorce. 797 00:58:55,073 --> 00:58:56,740 Well, I admire your loyalty. 798 00:58:56,824 --> 00:58:58,867 To lawyers, anyway. 799 00:58:58,952 --> 00:59:02,079 I guess without the prenup, it's something that even Freddy could manage. 800 00:59:02,163 --> 00:59:07,042 But how did you get Howard to do it? It felt like it was his idea. 801 00:59:07,126 --> 00:59:09,878 Surely, Mr. Massey, you've addressed enough juries 802 00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:12,839 to appreciate the power of suggestion. 803 00:59:12,924 --> 00:59:14,049 Mmm. 804 00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:21,265 Look, now that the marriage is winding down, 805 00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:24,893 have dinner with me. 806 00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:30,315 No. No, nothing doing until the ink is dry on the settlement. 807 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:34,444 Oh, this'll be no settlement. If I know Marylin Rexroth, 808 00:59:34,529 --> 00:59:40,033 this'll be nothing short of a complete and total annihilation. 809 00:59:59,095 --> 01:00:01,597 - You're gonna win. - Excuse me? 810 01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:05,350 I can always tell, going to Vegas, who's gonna win. 811 01:00:05,435 --> 01:00:08,228 Well, thanks, but I'm going on business. 812 01:00:09,230 --> 01:00:10,689 I always win. 813 01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:29,958 You know why I hate this town, Wrigley? You see, people get to Las Vegas, 814 01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:32,961 and all of a sudden, the rules of the moral universe don't apply. 815 01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:35,505 When God is dead, all things are possible. 816 01:00:35,590 --> 01:00:37,466 I saw an ad in the paper, 817 01:00:37,550 --> 01:00:42,763 "No-fault divorce. Two-week divorce without a lawyer." 818 01:00:42,847 --> 01:00:46,141 Made me sick to my stomach. "No-fault divorce." 819 01:00:46,225 --> 01:00:49,519 Good God. Talk about your oxymoron. 820 01:00:49,604 --> 01:00:52,356 - What's the world coming to? - One man can only do so much. 821 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,317 One man... What are you talking about? 822 01:00:55,401 --> 01:00:56,777 Freddy. 823 01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,570 Mmm. I had lunch with Freddy Bender yesterday. 824 01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:02,032 He tells me that Marylin Rexroth-Doyle is now richer than Croesus. 825 01:01:02,116 --> 01:01:05,452 Ah, yes, but is she richer than Mrs. Croesus? 826 01:01:05,536 --> 01:01:08,622 She could buy and sell you 10 times over. 827 01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:12,000 My God, is that her? 828 01:01:12,085 --> 01:01:13,168 Mmm. 829 01:01:13,586 --> 01:01:17,172 Freddy said she was flying in with him. Celebrating, I guess. 830 01:01:17,256 --> 01:01:20,759 I'm fascinated by that creature. Richer than me, huh? 831 01:01:20,843 --> 01:01:25,430 Well, she deserves every penny. And now she's single again. 832 01:01:26,599 --> 01:01:28,350 Excuse me. 833 01:01:28,434 --> 01:01:30,769 No, you should stay away from her, Miles. 834 01:01:30,853 --> 01:01:33,271 Recite your keynote address. Take a cold shower. 835 01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:44,741 - You're looking well, Marylin. - Hello, Miles. 836 01:01:44,826 --> 01:01:48,203 Obscene wealth becomes you. 837 01:01:48,287 --> 01:01:51,707 - I should've known you'd be here. - Be here? 838 01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:54,668 - I'm the keynote speaker. - How nice for you. 839 01:01:54,752 --> 01:01:57,879 - "Nailing Your Spouse's Assets." - Excuse me? 840 01:01:57,964 --> 01:01:59,423 My speech. 841 01:01:59,507 --> 01:02:00,674 Oh! 842 01:02:02,301 --> 01:02:06,304 - Oh, I'm sure you'll bring the house down. - It's an easy crowd. 843 01:02:06,389 --> 01:02:09,391 At this point, I would think you're probably the only person 844 01:02:09,475 --> 01:02:12,352 - that I can't teach anything to. - Really? 845 01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:13,603 Mmm. 846 01:02:13,855 --> 01:02:18,108 Now, correct me, but since by now the ink must be dry, 847 01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:21,611 - I believe I have the right to collect. - On? 848 01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:24,948 You promised to have dinner with me once you were free. 849 01:02:25,032 --> 01:02:29,119 I said I wouldn't whilst I wasn't, which implies no promise once I am. 850 01:02:29,203 --> 01:02:31,788 Noted. Let me rephrase. 851 01:02:31,873 --> 01:02:36,334 I would be delighted, honored really, if you'd... 852 01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:39,838 - Howard! - Howard! 853 01:02:39,922 --> 01:02:41,298 Howard! 854 01:02:42,675 --> 01:02:46,720 - You named him after your ex. - I'm sentimental. 855 01:02:46,804 --> 01:02:52,851 Well, I'm free this evening, so I suppose a little dinner would do no harm. 856 01:02:52,935 --> 01:02:56,188 Le Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin 1990, sir. 857 01:02:56,272 --> 01:02:59,816 Yes. Thank you. I'll take care of it. 858 01:03:01,527 --> 01:03:05,197 Marylin, this is a moment to savor. 859 01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:10,619 Yes, we were adversaries, but we were also professionals. 860 01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:16,625 So let us raise a glass to friendship. 861 01:03:19,420 --> 01:03:20,796 To victory. 862 01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:29,221 So how does it feel? 863 01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:33,433 - Sorry? - Victory. Independence. 864 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:34,976 Oh. 865 01:03:38,064 --> 01:03:41,900 - Well, frankly, Miles... - It's not everything you'd hoped for? 866 01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:47,864 I know the feeling. 867 01:03:49,325 --> 01:03:52,619 Independence. Two-edged sword. 868 01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:57,582 My friend... My best friend, Sarah Sorkin. 869 01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:02,295 Sarah Battista-O'Flanagan-Sorkin? 870 01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:05,090 The O'Flanagan settlement? 871 01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:09,094 - Ah. - Hmm. 872 01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:13,682 Anyway, three fine settlements. 873 01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:16,142 More money than she could ever hope to spend. 874 01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:18,436 - Yes. - Her vaunted independence. 875 01:04:18,521 --> 01:04:21,189 Don't tell me. She sits around the house, 876 01:04:21,274 --> 01:04:23,984 afraid to see people, afraid to put her portfolio into play. 877 01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:28,446 And only a peptic ulcer to keep her warm at night. 878 01:04:28,531 --> 01:04:29,614 Yes. 879 01:04:31,284 --> 01:04:35,412 There's a certain point when you've achieved your goals. 880 01:04:35,496 --> 01:04:39,457 You realize that you're still not satisfied. 881 01:04:39,542 --> 01:04:40,625 Yes. 882 01:04:48,885 --> 01:04:49,926 We should order. 883 01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:55,640 You know, I'm not really hungry. 884 01:04:56,475 --> 01:04:57,976 Neither am I. 885 01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:44,731 Eighteen hundred billable hours. 886 01:05:44,815 --> 01:05:48,860 Twelve hundred twenty-one motions to void. 887 01:05:50,529 --> 01:05:54,783 Five hundred and sixty-four summary judgments. 888 01:05:56,202 --> 01:05:58,954 A hundred and twenty-nine thousand 889 01:05:59,038 --> 01:06:03,083 nine hundred and ninety-nine lunches charged. 890 01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:24,062 - Hello? - Miles? 891 01:06:24,146 --> 01:06:26,356 Hello? Marylin? 892 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,942 Sarah Sorkin just died! 893 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:34,489 - Marylin! - Her ulcer. 894 01:06:36,867 --> 01:06:41,204 - Perforated. Infection. - Yes. 895 01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:47,419 - Miles? - Yes, Marylin? 896 01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:49,879 She was alone. 897 01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:54,968 She'd been dead for two days before her Pilates instructor found her. 898 01:06:57,972 --> 01:07:02,183 Marylin, listen to me. No arguments. No discussions. 899 01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:04,509 I'll have Wrigley meet us at the Wee Kirk o' the Heather. 900 01:07:10,192 --> 01:07:11,234 Wrigley! 901 01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:13,153 The vows are from an Arapaho dawn-greeting ceremony. 902 01:07:13,237 --> 01:07:17,449 The music is Simon & Garfunkel. And this is the Massey prenup. 903 01:07:18,117 --> 01:07:21,995 - You the two getting married? - Mr. MacKinnon here will be officiating. 904 01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,456 - Sorry. Short notice. - Pen. 905 01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:28,001 Marylin, you're welcome to examine this. 906 01:07:28,085 --> 01:07:31,755 This is the Massey prenup. 907 01:07:31,839 --> 01:07:34,799 - As you know, it's ironclad. - We tried to reach Freddy Bender. 908 01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:37,093 We tried to reach Freddy Bender to have him here for your protection, 909 01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:39,304 - but we couldn't find him. - I couldn't get him. 910 01:07:39,388 --> 01:07:41,264 Are you two here to get married or to bullshit? 911 01:07:41,348 --> 01:07:44,142 So you can't hope to benefit from the marriage? 912 01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:45,727 Not in any way. 913 01:07:45,811 --> 01:07:49,105 And my wealth is completely, completely protected? 914 01:07:49,190 --> 01:07:52,484 As if a lead veil had been drawn across it. 915 01:08:00,951 --> 01:08:04,245 - Do you still want to marry me? - More than ever. 916 01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,501 Are you renting kilts? 917 01:08:27,478 --> 01:08:30,688 Do you, Miles Longfellow Massey 918 01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:35,193 of Massey, Myerson, Sloan and Gurolnick, LLP, 919 01:08:35,277 --> 01:08:40,698 take Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle to be your lawful wedded wife? 920 01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:42,742 I do. Yes. I do. I do. 921 01:08:42,827 --> 01:08:47,205 Let me finish. Jesus, have you never been married before? 922 01:08:48,082 --> 01:08:52,377 To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? 923 01:08:55,714 --> 01:08:56,965 I do. 924 01:08:57,049 --> 01:09:01,136 And do you, Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle, 925 01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:05,140 take Miles Longfellow Massey to be your lawful wedded husband, 926 01:09:05,224 --> 01:09:10,353 to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? 927 01:09:10,437 --> 01:09:14,190 - I do. - I now pronounce you man and wife. 928 01:09:47,224 --> 01:09:49,434 I'll take care of you later. 929 01:10:00,112 --> 01:10:03,364 No, no, no, no, no. No. This is all wrong. 930 01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:07,785 Is it the kilt? 931 01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:11,873 - Do you love me? - More than anything. 932 01:10:13,918 --> 01:10:17,587 - Can I trust you? - Yes, you can trust me. 933 01:10:26,931 --> 01:10:28,306 Darling, you're exposed. 934 01:10:29,516 --> 01:10:30,767 A sitting duck. 935 01:10:49,161 --> 01:10:50,995 I hereby declare the 12th Congress 936 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:56,626 of the National Organization of Matrimonial Attorneys Nationwide open. 937 01:10:56,710 --> 01:10:58,419 As our first order of business, 938 01:10:58,504 --> 01:11:02,298 it is a privilege to call to the podium our keynote speaker. 939 01:11:02,383 --> 01:11:07,178 From the Los Angeles firm of Massey, Myerson, Sloan and Gurolnick, 940 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:12,934 a man whose name is synonymous with bitter disputes and big awards, 941 01:11:13,018 --> 01:11:14,227 Miles Massey. 942 01:11:33,163 --> 01:11:34,205 Thank you, Branco. 943 01:11:38,877 --> 01:11:40,545 In the world of... 944 01:11:44,341 --> 01:11:47,385 In the world of matrimonial law, there are... 945 01:11:55,477 --> 01:11:59,314 In the world of matrimonial law, there are multiple tactics. 946 01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:18,082 Friends, 947 01:12:21,086 --> 01:12:24,088 this morning I stand before you a very different Miles Massey 948 01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:26,758 than the one that addressed you last year 949 01:12:26,842 --> 01:12:30,636 on the disposition of marital assets following murder/suicide. 950 01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:34,766 I wish to talk to you today not about technical matters of law. 951 01:12:36,810 --> 01:12:40,188 I wish to talk to you about something more important. 952 01:12:43,233 --> 01:12:45,568 I wish to talk to you from the heart. 953 01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:55,703 Because today, for the first time in my life, 954 01:12:57,081 --> 01:13:00,416 I stand before you naked, 955 01:13:04,713 --> 01:13:06,089 vulnerable, 956 01:13:11,136 --> 01:13:13,054 and in love. 957 01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:21,396 Love. 958 01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:25,983 It's a word we matrimonial lawyers avoid. 959 01:13:27,361 --> 01:13:29,904 Funny, isn't it? We're frightened of this emotion, 960 01:13:29,988 --> 01:13:34,409 which is, in a sense, the seed of our livelihood. 961 01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:41,124 Well, today Miles Massey is here to tell you that love need cause us no fear. 962 01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:48,256 Love need cause us no shame. Love is... 963 01:13:50,175 --> 01:13:51,259 Good. 964 01:13:57,182 --> 01:13:58,307 Love is good. 965 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:04,814 Now I am, of course, aware 966 01:14:04,898 --> 01:14:08,693 that these remarks will be received here with cynicism. 967 01:14:09,695 --> 01:14:13,239 Cynicism, that cloak that advertises our indifference 968 01:14:13,323 --> 01:14:15,533 and hides all human feeling. 969 01:14:15,617 --> 01:14:19,078 Well, I'm here to tell you that that cynicism which we think protects us, 970 01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:21,873 in fact, destroys. 971 01:14:21,957 --> 01:14:27,670 Destroys love, destroys our clients, and, ultimately, destroys ourselves. 972 01:14:27,754 --> 01:14:33,426 Colleagues, when our clients come to us confused and angry and hurting 973 01:14:33,510 --> 01:14:37,180 because their flame of love is guttering and threatens to die, 974 01:14:37,264 --> 01:14:39,557 do we seek to extinguish that flame 975 01:14:39,641 --> 01:14:43,478 so that we can sift through the smoldering wreckage for our paltry reward? 976 01:14:43,562 --> 01:14:46,314 Or do we fan this precious flame, 977 01:14:46,398 --> 01:14:51,360 this most precious flame, back into loving, roaring life? 978 01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:57,825 Do we counsel fear or trust? Do we seek to destroy or build? 979 01:14:57,910 --> 01:15:02,413 Do we meet our clients' problems with cynicism 980 01:15:04,458 --> 01:15:05,750 or with love? 981 01:15:11,590 --> 01:15:14,300 The choice is, of course, each of ours. 982 01:15:16,428 --> 01:15:21,098 For my part, I've made the leap of love, and there's no going back. 983 01:15:21,934 --> 01:15:24,374 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last time I will address you 984 01:15:24,394 --> 01:15:27,438 as the president of N.O.M.A.N. or as a member. 985 01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:35,863 I intend to devote myself to pro bono work in East Los Angeles 986 01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:37,281 or one of those other... 987 01:15:42,913 --> 01:15:44,580 God bless you all. 988 01:16:33,880 --> 01:16:35,506 I love you, man. 989 01:16:49,813 --> 01:16:53,274 So, Wrigley, I'm gonna be relinquishing my partnership in Massey Myerson. 990 01:16:53,358 --> 01:16:57,278 If you care to join me in my new endeavor, I'd be delighted. 991 01:16:57,362 --> 01:16:59,905 Of course, I can't offer you the same kind of financial remuneration 992 01:16:59,990 --> 01:17:01,071 you've grown accustomed to, 993 01:17:01,116 --> 01:17:02,825 but the work'll have to serve as its own reward. 994 01:17:02,909 --> 01:17:05,786 Barkeep, we'll have two of your finest scotches. 995 01:17:05,871 --> 01:17:08,122 - That's the... - I propose a toast. 996 01:17:08,206 --> 01:17:10,666 - Barkeep! - That's the soap that used to belong to... 997 01:17:10,751 --> 01:17:12,918 You'll be serving in a junior capacity, of course. 998 01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:14,503 Donovan Donaly. 999 01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,964 Miles, that's... 1000 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:19,049 It'll be a small operation, a boutique firm. 1001 01:17:19,092 --> 01:17:20,801 Let me tell you what they called me in medical school. 1002 01:17:20,886 --> 01:17:23,054 In any firm, there can be only one ramrod. 1003 01:17:23,138 --> 01:17:25,681 I don't see why my leadership skills should... 1004 01:17:25,766 --> 01:17:27,892 - Howard? - Mackenzie the Mechanical Marvel. 1005 01:17:27,976 --> 01:17:30,061 - It's Howard. - You see, I have no nerves. 1006 01:17:30,145 --> 01:17:33,731 He's not an oil tycoon. An actor. 1007 01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:37,318 Doctor, this is highly unusual. 1008 01:17:37,402 --> 01:17:40,780 So Marylin married a soap actor. 1009 01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:45,326 So she's... She's poor. 1010 01:17:45,410 --> 01:17:48,829 Get yourself some clean scrubs, and have them prepare the OR. 1011 01:17:48,914 --> 01:17:51,999 - Well, thank God you have the prenup. - I have no prenup. 1012 01:17:52,084 --> 01:17:54,627 - You have no prenup. - I have no prenup. 1013 01:17:54,711 --> 01:17:56,337 You haVe no prenup. 1014 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:07,932 Thanks. 1015 01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:11,102 Okay. 1016 01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,901 - Marylin? - Oh, hello, Miles. 1017 01:18:24,282 --> 01:18:26,158 - Going back to LA? - Yes. 1018 01:18:28,203 --> 01:18:31,706 Look, Miles, I think it's only fair to warn you that after a decent interval, 1019 01:18:31,790 --> 01:18:34,375 I intend to have Freddy seek an injunction 1020 01:18:34,459 --> 01:18:37,753 that would forbid you to approach within 500 feet of my house. 1021 01:18:37,838 --> 01:18:39,171 You mean my house. 1022 01:18:39,256 --> 01:18:43,008 Oh, I believe the residence will be part of the settlement. 1023 01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:50,349 Marylin, didn't last night mean anything to you? 1024 01:18:50,434 --> 01:18:54,979 Oh, well, about as much as it'll mean to you, half of your net worth. 1025 01:18:56,481 --> 01:19:02,403 Miles, you'll always be my favorite husband. But no more sentiment, darling. 1026 01:19:03,447 --> 01:19:05,489 I really have to be going. 1027 01:19:06,825 --> 01:19:08,659 The dog's rented. 1028 01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:21,380 - You didn't win. - Excuse me? 1029 01:19:21,465 --> 01:19:25,092 I can always tell, coming back from Vegas, who didn't win. 1030 01:19:29,389 --> 01:19:30,848 You're right. 1031 01:19:34,936 --> 01:19:40,399 But you're going through with it? 1032 01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:42,485 Yes. 1033 01:19:42,569 --> 01:19:46,280 I just felt so sorry for him for a minute there. 1034 01:19:46,364 --> 01:19:49,617 At the preliminary hearing, he just looked so beaten. 1035 01:19:49,701 --> 01:19:52,620 - Well, he was beaten fair and square. - I know, but... 1036 01:19:52,704 --> 01:19:54,622 Oh, their pathetic look. 1037 01:19:54,706 --> 01:19:58,542 It's what they all fall back on when they don't have a prenup. 1038 01:20:01,838 --> 01:20:05,007 Just stay strong until the divorce is final. 1039 01:20:05,091 --> 01:20:08,385 Relax and enjoy your pool. 1040 01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:16,393 - Do you think he's eating enough? - Marylin! 1041 01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,731 This woman has humbled, 1042 01:20:22,442 --> 01:20:26,570 shamed, and disgraced the entire firm. 1043 01:20:27,572 --> 01:20:32,493 - Yes, Herb. - Counselor, this firm deals in power. 1044 01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:37,039 This firm deals in perception. 1045 01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:42,920 This firm cannot prosper, nor long endure 1046 01:20:43,004 --> 01:20:49,593 if it is perceived to be dancing to the music of a hurdy-gurdy! 1047 01:20:51,429 --> 01:20:52,847 It's just... 1048 01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:59,103 Herb, for the first time in my career, I don't know what to do. 1049 01:21:00,772 --> 01:21:05,359 I'm a patsy. I'm a sitting duck. I'm lost. 1050 01:21:05,443 --> 01:21:07,111 Lost? 1051 01:21:07,195 --> 01:21:11,824 I'll tell you what you can do. You can act like a man. 1052 01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:14,802 And let me tell you something, smart guy. 1053 01:21:14,828 --> 01:21:17,580 You thought you had it all figured out. 1054 01:21:17,664 --> 01:21:24,211 Trust. Marriage. All your goddamn love, love, love! 1055 01:21:24,963 --> 01:21:29,884 Now, you listen to me. I'm gonna talk to you about the goddamn law. 1056 01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:33,971 We serve the law! We honor the law! 1057 01:21:34,973 --> 01:21:39,351 And sometimes, Counselor, we obey the law. 1058 01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:46,150 But, Counselor, this is not one of those times. 1059 01:21:57,037 --> 01:22:00,456 Are you Wheezy Joe? 1060 01:22:01,041 --> 01:22:03,626 Which of you is Smith? 1061 01:22:03,710 --> 01:22:09,590 Well, we're here representing Mr. Smith on a matter of some delicacy. 1062 01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:12,051 - Who's the pigeon? - The what? 1063 01:22:12,135 --> 01:22:15,346 - Who you want me to kill? - Yes. Well, we would like you... 1064 01:22:15,430 --> 01:22:19,934 Mr. Smith would like you to neutralize, 1065 01:22:20,018 --> 01:22:25,814 terminate, render unto a state of, so that she isn't so much... 1066 01:22:26,608 --> 01:22:29,902 - Breathing. - Yes. A business associate 1067 01:22:29,986 --> 01:22:33,864 by the name of Marylin Rexroth-Doyle-Massey... Smith-Massey. 1068 01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:37,701 Is that one person? 1069 01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:42,581 I have some photos here of Miss Rexroth, 1070 01:22:42,666 --> 01:22:45,626 and that's the address that she's staying at. 1071 01:22:45,710 --> 01:22:48,712 That is Mr. Smith's address. Massey's, Smith... 1072 01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:52,174 It's Mr. Smith's address. Although Mr. Smith is not directly involved. 1073 01:22:52,258 --> 01:22:53,884 Because of an impending legal matter, 1074 01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:56,303 we need this to happen within a certain time frame. 1075 01:22:56,388 --> 01:22:59,890 - On an expedited basis. - You're in a rush. 1076 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:02,309 - We're not in a rush. - Mr. Smith is. 1077 01:23:12,445 --> 01:23:15,239 She won't... She won't suffer, will she? 1078 01:23:16,449 --> 01:23:18,450 Not unless you pay extra. 1079 01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:23,205 I've been workin' on the railroad. 1080 01:23:23,289 --> 01:23:25,833 All the livelong day. 1081 01:23:25,917 --> 01:23:28,377 I've been workin' on the railroad. 1082 01:23:28,461 --> 01:23:31,672 Just to pass the time away. 1083 01:23:31,756 --> 01:23:35,134 Can't you hear the whistle blowin' 1084 01:23:35,218 --> 01:23:37,469 Rise up early in the... 1085 01:23:40,765 --> 01:23:43,308 Whistles go "toot-toot." 1086 01:23:49,774 --> 01:23:51,942 What's the matter, Rexie? 1087 01:23:59,159 --> 01:24:00,325 Hello? 1088 01:24:02,954 --> 01:24:05,622 Yes, he's here. One moment, please. 1089 01:24:18,970 --> 01:24:20,137 Miles. 1090 01:24:21,598 --> 01:24:23,182 It's for you. 1091 01:24:30,148 --> 01:24:33,567 Hello? Yes? 1092 01:24:43,286 --> 01:24:44,328 What? 1093 01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:48,123 I see. 1094 01:24:50,794 --> 01:24:53,128 - My God. - What? 1095 01:24:53,963 --> 01:24:58,926 That was Marvin Untermeyer. He was Rex Rexroth's personal attorney. 1096 01:24:59,010 --> 01:25:02,387 Yes? What do you mean he was? 1097 01:25:03,181 --> 01:25:07,101 Rex had a massive coronary in the middle of a business meeting. 1098 01:25:08,144 --> 01:25:09,269 He's dead. 1099 01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:14,608 Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, but you two weren't close, were you? 1100 01:25:14,692 --> 01:25:19,863 Marvin said that Rex's will was four years old. Never redrafted it. 1101 01:25:20,448 --> 01:25:23,117 - He was stinking rich. - Yes? 1102 01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:28,205 Everything goes to Marylin. 1103 01:25:34,254 --> 01:25:36,588 She's not poor. She's richer than you. 1104 01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:39,550 She is exposed. No prenup. She's a sitting duck. 1105 01:25:39,634 --> 01:25:41,969 She's a sitting duck. Can't kill her. No need. 1106 01:25:42,053 --> 01:25:44,304 - No. It would be pointless. She's exposed. - It's pointless. 1107 01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:47,307 Why kill the only woman you've ever loved when she's the richer party? 1108 01:25:47,392 --> 01:25:50,352 She's rich. And I love her. Don't need to kill her. 1109 01:25:50,436 --> 01:25:51,979 - Ah! - What, "Ah"? 1110 01:25:52,063 --> 01:25:53,647 - You've reached Wheezy Joe. - Joe! 1111 01:25:53,731 --> 01:25:55,190 What do you want? 1112 01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:58,193 Hi, it's Miles Smith... Mr. Smith calling to say, 1113 01:25:58,278 --> 01:26:00,487 - on behalf of myself, that it is... - No-go. 1114 01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:02,865 No-go concerning Marylin. 1115 01:26:02,949 --> 01:26:06,410 I'm speaking with no knowledge. This is what Mr. Smith wants. 1116 01:26:06,494 --> 01:26:08,162 This is what I want. 1117 01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:11,665 I am Mr. Smith. Thank you. 1118 01:26:14,752 --> 01:26:18,589 - That was good. - You think I'm protected? 1119 01:26:18,673 --> 01:26:21,216 - Am I protected? - I think it would hold up. 1120 01:26:21,301 --> 01:26:23,135 - Marylin. - Yes, yes. Marylin. 1121 01:26:23,219 --> 01:26:25,095 What do we do? What if he's on his way there? 1122 01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:26,346 Yes. Oh! 1123 01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:29,808 - If he's on his way there... - Oh, no! Marylin! 1124 01:26:29,893 --> 01:26:33,729 Get her out and buy some time. Buy some time! 1125 01:26:40,111 --> 01:26:41,195 Hello? 1126 01:26:41,279 --> 01:26:43,697 Marylin, you must leave the house immediately. 1127 01:26:43,781 --> 01:26:46,116 - It's imperative that you leave the house. - Hello, Miles. 1128 01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,785 - Hello, dear. - Now, Miles, pending final settlement, 1129 01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:52,206 - you know that I'm entitled to use the house. - No, no, no! You don't understand, Marylin. 1130 01:26:52,290 --> 01:26:54,499 - It's an emergency! Yes. - An emergency! 1131 01:26:54,584 --> 01:26:55,584 What is it? 1132 01:26:55,668 --> 01:26:59,046 I forgot that I left the gas main on, which leaks! 1133 01:26:59,130 --> 01:27:02,841 - Good gosh. That sounds dangerous. - It's a deadly, odorless, colorless, 1134 01:27:02,926 --> 01:27:06,220 liquidless gas that attacks the central nervous system 1135 01:27:06,304 --> 01:27:09,264 and causes diarrhea and facial tics! 1136 01:27:09,349 --> 01:27:11,183 Okay. All right. 1137 01:27:11,267 --> 01:27:13,393 - Well, thanks for calling, Miles. - Okay. Bye-bye. 1138 01:27:16,481 --> 01:27:17,773 I think she bought it. 1139 01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,364 So, tell me, 1140 01:27:28,576 --> 01:27:30,035 who sent you? 1141 01:27:31,204 --> 01:27:32,663 Mr. Smith. 1142 01:27:33,915 --> 01:27:35,582 Is this Mr. Smith? 1143 01:27:36,542 --> 01:27:37,584 No. 1144 01:27:38,503 --> 01:27:39,753 That's his lawyer. 1145 01:27:42,674 --> 01:27:46,551 Whatever they're paying you, I'll double. 1146 01:27:49,180 --> 01:27:50,764 - What now? - We wait for Wheezy Joe. 1147 01:27:50,848 --> 01:27:52,766 We tell him it's a no-go. 1148 01:27:52,850 --> 01:27:54,851 Careful. Rottweilers. 1149 01:28:01,943 --> 01:28:04,945 Looks like she's gone. Looks like she bought it. 1150 01:28:05,029 --> 01:28:08,532 - Good stuff. There's no one here. - Except for the Rottweilers. 1151 01:28:08,616 --> 01:28:11,368 Sure. Rottweilers. 1152 01:28:12,912 --> 01:28:14,538 You go that way. 1153 01:28:42,900 --> 01:28:44,276 Wheezy Joe? 1154 01:29:17,935 --> 01:29:20,854 Wheezy Joe, thank God you're in time. 1155 01:29:20,938 --> 01:29:24,649 You're not in time. We're in time. Thank God we're in time. 1156 01:29:24,734 --> 01:29:27,402 Look, it's a no-go. You get it? 1157 01:29:27,487 --> 01:29:30,781 No one need be the wiser, so you can just go on home. 1158 01:29:30,865 --> 01:29:33,533 Goodbye. You know, thank you so much. 1159 01:29:33,618 --> 01:29:35,786 Hear that? Okay? No, no. No, no. 1160 01:29:35,870 --> 01:29:39,998 No, no. No-go. No contract. It's off. It's... 1161 01:29:40,083 --> 01:29:42,876 - Will you explain to the lunkhead? - No-go. It's a no-go. 1162 01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:46,963 We'll settle your contract later. Look, you're fired, pal. Let it go. Walk away. 1163 01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:48,840 - Golden parachute. - Don't let the screen door hit you. 1164 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,218 - Does he speak any language? - Here's what happened, Mr. Carnera. 1165 01:29:51,302 --> 01:29:53,095 We feel that... 1166 01:29:53,179 --> 01:29:54,554 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1167 01:30:12,532 --> 01:30:13,740 Wheezy! 1168 01:30:28,214 --> 01:30:30,173 Told him it was a no-go. 1169 01:30:54,991 --> 01:30:56,992 - Gentlemen. - Freddy. 1170 01:31:00,621 --> 01:31:03,290 - Hello, Marylin. - Hello, Miles. 1171 01:31:05,209 --> 01:31:09,588 - This is where we first met, remember? - Of course I remember. 1172 01:31:10,923 --> 01:31:13,467 It's hard to believe that when you walk out that door today, 1173 01:31:13,551 --> 01:31:16,386 you'll be walking out of my life forever. 1174 01:31:17,555 --> 01:31:19,473 It's not something I wanted either. 1175 01:31:19,557 --> 01:31:21,391 But then, I guess 1176 01:31:22,977 --> 01:31:25,312 something inside of me died 1177 01:31:25,396 --> 01:31:29,065 when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me. 1178 01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:32,444 - Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me. - No. Both of you wait a minute. 1179 01:31:32,528 --> 01:31:35,280 - Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone. - Hear, hear. 1180 01:31:35,364 --> 01:31:38,783 Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house. 1181 01:31:38,868 --> 01:31:41,495 - Miles' house. - Whatever! 1182 01:31:41,579 --> 01:31:45,749 A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, repented, 1183 01:31:45,833 --> 01:31:49,711 became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself. 1184 01:31:49,795 --> 01:31:55,008 - So where does that leave you and me? - Well, we've outlined a settlement. 1185 01:31:55,092 --> 01:31:56,468 We think it's very generous. 1186 01:31:56,552 --> 01:32:00,805 My client is prepared to consider a reconciliation. 1187 01:32:00,890 --> 01:32:03,058 But how could I trust you, Miles, after all this? 1188 01:32:03,142 --> 01:32:04,726 See, that's exactly right. The point is... 1189 01:32:04,810 --> 01:32:06,978 You wounded me first, Marylin. 1190 01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:11,066 I'm not proud of what I've done, but God knows, I did trust you once. 1191 01:32:11,150 --> 01:32:16,112 If you could just give us another chance. 1192 01:32:16,197 --> 01:32:18,073 Well, if you'll pardon me here, 1193 01:32:18,157 --> 01:32:21,243 but I think my client is well beyond the point of considering... 1194 01:32:21,327 --> 01:32:25,413 How could I ever trust you again? I mean really trust you, Miles? 1195 01:32:40,137 --> 01:32:43,640 Marylin, there is nothing in the Massey prenup that says 1196 01:32:43,724 --> 01:32:47,018 it can't be executed after the parties wed. 1197 01:32:48,771 --> 01:32:52,148 Well, if this indeed is a Massey prenup, 1198 01:32:53,818 --> 01:32:57,779 and a cursory examination tends to support that it is, then... 1199 01:33:00,366 --> 01:33:03,034 Oh, my God, Marylin. You're exposed. 1200 01:33:07,164 --> 01:33:08,290 Marylin. 1201 01:33:17,091 --> 01:33:21,136 Counselor! Freddy! 1202 01:33:21,220 --> 01:33:23,888 Freddy! Come on, Freddy! No fair! 1203 01:33:24,682 --> 01:33:25,890 Freddy! 1204 01:33:30,730 --> 01:33:34,858 - Did you hear something? - Only the patter of little lawyers' feet. 1205 01:33:41,032 --> 01:33:43,742 Where did you find Howard? 1206 01:33:43,826 --> 01:33:48,663 The actor? From a TV producer. I think you know him. 1207 01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:52,542 I gave him an idea for a new show, so he made me a partner. 1208 01:33:58,299 --> 01:34:01,760 - I guess that means I'm a partner. - I guess it does. 1209 01:34:04,472 --> 01:34:07,265 And what exactly is it we're partners in? 1210 01:34:15,358 --> 01:34:17,942 Who gets what, and who gets who? 1211 01:34:18,027 --> 01:34:21,988 You'll find out on America's Funniest Divorce Videos. 1212 01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:25,575 Here's the star of our show, Gus Petch! 1213 01:34:28,913 --> 01:34:33,833 You goddamn right, folks. I'm Gus Petch. And we got a great show for you. 1214 01:34:33,918 --> 01:34:36,503 We gonna make you laugh. We gonna make you cry. 1215 01:34:36,587 --> 01:34:41,800 - But most of all, we gonna nail your ass! - Ass! 1216 01:34:41,884 --> 01:34:44,010 Nail your ass! 1217 01:34:44,095 --> 01:34:48,515 Nail your ass! Nail your ass! 1218 01:34:57,942 --> 01:35:01,986 Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus! Gus!