1 00:01:18,116 --> 00:01:19,785 Fuck, fuck, fuck! So late! 2 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,815 Mabel's put a scarf on the cat. 3 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:24,184 He's not a cat. He's my husband. 4 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,186 Where is he? 5 00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,189 - Will he bring the ladies with the big boobies? - "Ladies"? 6 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,324 Last time, he brushed my hair with a fork. 7 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,727 There were three ladies, and they had an epic pillow fight. 8 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,396 - The fork had maple syrup on it. - Out of the way, darling. 9 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,864 Well, 10 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,533 it's obvious he's not coming, so I'll just stay home. 11 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,503 You said this was the one thing you had to leave the house for this year. 12 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,704 You're right. I'm going. 13 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,406 Move, please, Mabes. 14 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,611 Fuck... caccia. 15 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,346 Did we eat the focaccia? 16 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,751 Well, we haven't got any vegetables. 17 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:02,355 But lucky you, you get to have frozen peas. Mmm. 18 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,624 All right. Come to the table. 19 00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:06,459 Come on. 20 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:10,930 One, two... 21 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,433 What am I going to do when I get to three? 22 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,569 Please enter alarm code. 23 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,371 Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck! 24 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,473 - Please enter alarm code. - No! Don't put the flames out. 25 00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,509 - We can toast marshmallows. - Please enter alarm code. 26 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,377 Please... 27 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,854 The tension of our bodies, 28 00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,258 the scars of... 29 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,826 Hello, Moto. 30 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,665 ...in... in our longing. 31 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,267 Bridget Jones, always exciting. 32 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,803 - How's the skirt? - Daniel, hi. 33 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,305 Just checking you have indeed forgotten about tonight. 34 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,842 That is hurtful, Jones. I have absolutely not forgotten. 35 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,644 No. 36 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,746 I'm so sorry. It's my mother. 37 00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,748 - She's in the hospital. - Oh. 38 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,950 - Primordial sweat. - I will be there 39 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:06,653 quicker than it took me to bring you to earth-shattering orgasm, 40 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,421 you filthy little harlot. 41 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,861 Love you, Mummy. 42 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,530 "Mummy"? 43 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,965 Darling, clever Geminita. 44 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,701 I'm gonna have to rush. It's a family emergency. 45 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,703 But I am loving this one. 46 00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,572 I think... I think we all are, aren't we? 47 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,340 Call me later, yeah? 48 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,776 Oh, yeah. 49 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,579 I am imminent, Jones. Imminent. 50 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,280 Un-bunch those giant panties. 51 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,725 Bloody zip manufacturers should be 52 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,861 cancelled for sociological bias. 53 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,598 It is actually impossible to do this on your own. 54 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,434 Help. 55 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,541 Ooh. Thank you, monkeys. 56 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,909 Uncle Daniel! 57 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,477 Miniature Darcy, what's the news? 58 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,012 Where are the ladies with the big... 59 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,947 Hair? They couldn't make it, sadly. 60 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,749 They're, um... They're washing their hair. 61 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,384 All three? 62 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,952 Yeah, well, they wash each other's, you see. 63 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,655 I thought you said no more models. 64 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,490 Geminita is not a model, Jones. 65 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,459 She is a poet and a healer, 66 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,627 and a model. 67 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,795 Come here. 68 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,764 Hell of a night for you. 69 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,701 Ugh, I can't go. The children need me. 70 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,102 Uncle Daniel! 71 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,904 You. Right. 72 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,440 Get a fork and some syrup. I'm gonna style you. 73 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,975 - I found the cards. - Very good. Excellent. 74 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:40,046 Now then, we need to work on your bluffing and your cheating. 75 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,468 Life has its white notes... 76 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,874 and life has its black notes. 77 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,947 You look very beautiful tonight, Mrs Darcy. 78 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,350 Not looking so bad yourself, Mr Darcy. 79 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,000 Bridget. 80 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,069 Very black notes. 81 00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:38,972 Jolly good. Come in. Weather's been a bit shitty, hasn't it? 82 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,573 - Though the cricket this year has been... - Jeremy. 83 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,109 absolutely phenomenal. 84 00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,980 This is what happened. 85 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,683 Mark Darcy, my husband, 86 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,818 father to Billy and Mabel, 87 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,687 died. 88 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,989 Or rather, was killed 89 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,426 in the Sudan on a humanitarian mission. 90 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,630 - Everybody's just upstairs. - Thanks. 91 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,666 And that was four years ago. Today, actually. 92 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,037 Brace yourself. It's a total fucking shit show. 93 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:16,743 And even though there might be 600,000 words in the human language, 94 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:20,013 the world still struggles to find the right ones 95 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,949 when someone you love is gone. 96 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,751 Bridget, how are the children? 97 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,019 - Mmm. - Are they... 98 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,921 Are they all right without you there? 99 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,990 No. It's fine. 100 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:34,060 Left them some crystal meth in the kitchen. 101 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,764 Maybe not. 102 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,866 Well, we don't make a thing about it. 103 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,935 We celebrate Mark's birthday instead. 104 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,069 Oh. 105 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,505 So, Bridget, still on your own? 106 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,140 It's been four years now. 107 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,709 You're still in pretty good nick. Why no chap? 108 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,912 Now, now. It's not Bridget's fault. Very hard, being a middle-aged woman 109 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,547 - and finding yourself single. - Mmm. 110 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,951 Better if you're a bloke. Look at Binko Carruthers. 111 00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,552 He's no oil painting, 112 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,722 but the second Rosemary died, he was inundated. 113 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,559 Of course, they were all of a certain age, though, weren't they? 114 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,695 Sorry, do you realise you said that out loud? 115 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,064 Hmm? 116 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,100 "A certain age"? What, do you mean our age? 117 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,202 - That is the most... - Shazzer now hosts 118 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,804 a podcast calledFed Up, 119 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,606 in which she has dinner with minor celebrities 120 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,142 while basically getting furious about everything. 121 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,210 sexist fucking universe we, unbelievably, 122 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,047 still continue to fucking inhabit. 123 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,687 I need to go to the toilet. 124 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,121 Oh. 125 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,190 Oh, dear. 126 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,261 Yeah, Jude. Yeah, I'm with her now. 127 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,997 Well, Shaz, tell her to come to The Golden Cock. 128 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,300 No, no, no. The party. It's for Mark. 129 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,969 That's not a party. That's a fucking bin fire. 130 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,839 And you think that Mark would want you to stay here and be insulted 131 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,108 in the fucking sexism Olympics? 132 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,010 To Mark. 133 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,244 - And to Bridget... - Aw. 134 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,746 and the rare pleasure of seeing you 135 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,247 -in something not made of terry towelling. 136 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,283 Tom, still living 137 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,919 handsomely off his one hit single 138 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:10,290 which had a comeback recently in a 30-second video of a dog doing maths. 139 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,226 Now, of all things, a life coach. 140 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,995 Honestly, I'd say it was a bit of a breakthrough, 141 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,164 speaking as your psychologist. 142 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,933 You're not my psychologist. 143 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,801 Well, I should be, yes. 144 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,570 According to the classic model, 145 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,772 you've actually made it to the fourth stage 146 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,609 - of the five stages of grief. - Wait. Isn't it seven stages? 147 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,145 What are you talking about, Jude? No, it isn't. It's five stages. 148 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,180 - Isn't it five? - Well, I always thought it was four. 149 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,815 It's definitely seven. 150 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,151 Jude, now CEO or COO 151 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,987 or CTO, definitely a C-something-O, 152 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,624 still regularly calling, in tears, from executive bathroom. 153 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:48,028 So, um, only one stage to go now, Bridge. 154 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,330 - Oh. - Stage five. 155 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,932 It's acceptance, which basically means 156 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,169 - you just have to get laid. - Oh, my God. Shazzer's right. 157 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,239 Yes. I mean, honestly, darling, look at yourself. 158 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,641 You've become a born-again virgin. 159 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:05,045 If you don't get laid soon, your vagina will literally reseal itself. 160 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,047 Yeah, and that is a thing. 161 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,316 It's called labial adhesion. 162 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,985 Oh, my God! 163 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,188 I knew leaving the kitchen was a mistake. 164 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,990 I don't want anyone else. 165 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,725 And even if I did, which I don't, 166 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,928 I'm non-viable, completely asexual, 167 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,030 and nobody will ever fancy me again. 168 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,799 - Ever, ever, ever. - No. No, no, no. 169 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,701 And I'm going to the toilet. 170 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,004 Crash and burn. That was a disaster. 171 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,205 Well, that was a fucking disaster. 172 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,778 Crikey. Have we been burgled? 173 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,014 We have not been burgled, Jones. No. 174 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,283 We have been marvellous. Now, tell me this. 175 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,821 For Tonya, do we think a kitten heel or a chunky wedge? 176 00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,822 She's going to Wimbledon. 177 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,690 Wedge, obviously. 178 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,325 You may be right. 179 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,828 How was it? Any fun? Any tongue? 180 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,965 Ugh. God. No tongue. I have hung up my tongue. 181 00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,767 How were they? 182 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,335 Well, the girl is you. 183 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:06,706 Lawless, romantic, irresistibly drawn to me. 184 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,708 Asked me if I was going to be her new daddy. 185 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,243 She does that. 186 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,680 Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed until I'd married her rabbit. 187 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,016 - Hmm. - Which I was very happy to do. 188 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,984 That rabbit is not at all unfanciable. 189 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,386 Hmm. And Billy? 190 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,955 Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he? 191 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,357 Still waters and all that. 192 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,726 As it happens, Jones, your son 193 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,062 and I have a number of shared interests. 194 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,398 Oh, God. Like what? 195 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,766 Models. 196 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,768 He showed me his, I showed him mine. 197 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,704 -Hmm. -And then we... we talked about death. 198 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:38,738 Did you? 199 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,774 Yeah. I told him being dead was shit. 200 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,176 And that I should know because I was for a bit. 201 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,844 And then, uh... 202 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,781 I gave him a hug 'cause he seemed a bit sad. 203 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,450 And then that made me sad because... 204 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,152 How is your boy? 205 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,254 Enzo's, what? He's... 206 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,356 Uh, fuck knows, Jones. Fifteen, I think. 207 00:10:56,389 --> 00:11:01,294 Anyway, we then cheered ourselves up by digging out the cocktail shaker, 208 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,263 and I taught him how to make a Dirty Bitch. 209 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,864 Saved it for you. It's in the fridge. 210 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,200 Goody. Have it for breakfast. 211 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,302 Yeah, hello, hello, hello, hello. 212 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,904 Geminita. 213 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,206 Yeah, we're all done. All done. I'm on my way. 214 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,242 Well, as quick as I can. 215 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,013 Yes, like naughty old moth to eager young flame. 216 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,482 No, you hang up first. 217 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,318 And... OK, kiss you back. 218 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,189 Yeah, OK. Louder. Yeah. 219 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,057 Oh, my God. 220 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,496 Fuck off, Jones. OK, they're asleep. 221 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,932 Um... it did take a bit of time. 222 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,067 But I... Actually I showed them a video of Geminita 223 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,970 reciting one of her prose poems and they were out like a light. 224 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,807 All right. 225 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:52,212 What happens now? 226 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,081 I'm trying to remember how it worked with our babysitters. 227 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,952 I think you give me 20 quid and try and shag me, don't you? 228 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:02,255 Ah, Daniel, dear Daniel. 229 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,991 At least some things never change. 230 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,361 It makes me sad though, Jones. You know... 231 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:13,433 two children and you all alone and effectively a nun. 232 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,803 Albeit, of course, a very, very naughty nun. 233 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,243 Bye, Daniel. 234 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,411 Yeah. 235 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,946 Thanks for tonight. 236 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,014 Yeah. 237 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,522 Why are these lights still on? 238 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,857 I thought you two were asleep. 239 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,261 Do you miss Dada sometimes? 240 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,396 I miss him all of the times. 241 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,237 There's my owl. 242 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,139 Back to bed. Come on. 243 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,408 - Story, Mama? - Mm-hmm. 244 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:06,553 For the baby princess is as kind as she is fair. 245 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:13,426 And the baby prince is as gentle as he is handsome. 246 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,597 And wherever they go and whatever they do, 247 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,301 Mummy and Daddy will always love them. 248 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:26,006 And Saliva. 249 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,142 She stinks, Mabes. 250 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,211 Oh! 251 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,986 - Good night, darling. - Good night, Mama. 252 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,994 Good night. 253 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,498 And all the thoughts... 254 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,071 And all the thoughts are going away. 255 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:02,475 They don't need little Billy and Mabel tonight. 256 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,912 The world will turn without them. 257 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:09,015 The stars will shine without them. 258 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:15,422 And all little Billy and Mabel need to do is rest and sleep. 259 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,391 Good night. 260 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,193 Night. 261 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,966 Good night, Billy. 262 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,669 - Do the song, Daddy. Please. - OK. 263 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:35,075 ♪ I'll do anything For you, dear♪ 264 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,576 ♪ Anything♪ 265 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:41,548 ♪ For you mean everything To me♪ 266 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,489 All by myself 47. 267 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:52,959 Shitballs. 268 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,032 No. Cock-bollocking fuck-bubbles! 269 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,138 Literally everyone else in the whole country 270 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,507 is laughing uproariously with their partners 271 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,410 while watching Netflix and having sex. 272 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,712 You don't want to wallow in it, darling. 273 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,281 And there they are again. 274 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,351 All the voices, all the advice. 275 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,353 You gotta wallow in it, Bridge. Wallow. 276 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:24,424 Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E. 277 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,761 It's I-E. It's not E-I. 278 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:31,431 No, it's, "I before E except after C." 279 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,033 Yes, exactly. 280 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,302 God, you really are such a T-W-T-A. 281 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,737 A what? 282 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,639 The thing about advice is, 283 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:43,510 no one tells you the same thing twice. 284 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,646 Bridget, you've got to put the children first. 285 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,383 Uh-huh. Thank you, Magda. Yes. 286 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,219 Put the children first. 287 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,454 Sod the children. 288 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,424 Put your own oxygen mask on first. 289 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,326 Right. Oxygen mask. 290 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,594 Got it. 291 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,530 One thing's for certain, Bridge. 292 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,166 Forget about sex. Oh. 293 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,734 OK. 294 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,602 No sex. 295 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,604 You need to have a lot of sex. 296 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,774 Yeah. Why don't you come back to work? 297 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:18,778 Thank you, Richard. I'll bear that in mind. 298 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,527 But as my dad said just before he died, 299 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,464 the big question is... 300 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,532 Can you survive? 301 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,536 I think so. 302 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,805 I have to. 303 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,142 I'm trying. 304 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,814 It's not enough to survive. You've got to live. 305 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351 Is that the Dalai Lama? 306 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,254 It's Harry Styles, I think. 307 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,689 Colin. 308 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,392 - Is that a sausage? - What sausage? 309 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:09,195 Bridget, you know what the doctor said about saturated fats. 310 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:13,299 Pam, could you take a photograph of us? Me and Bridget. 311 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,104 Um... 312 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,709 Colin, try not to do that with your chin. 313 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,644 I'm not doing anything with my chin. 314 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,584 Promise me you'll live, Bridget. 315 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,188 Smile! 316 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,285 Bridget Jones, it's time to live. 317 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,690 ♪ I know when to go out♪ 318 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,292 ♪ Know when to stay in♪ 319 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,862 ♪ Get things done♪ 320 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,368 ♪ I catch a paper boy♪ 321 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,538 ♪ But things Don't really change♪ 322 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,740 ♪ I'm standing in the wind♪ 323 00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,443 ♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪ 324 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,448 ♪ But I try♪ 325 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,217 ♪ I try♪ 326 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,855 ♪ Never gonna fall for♪ 327 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:16,923 ♪ Modern love♪ 328 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,692 ♪ Walks beside me♪ 329 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,793 ♪ Modern love♪ 330 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,394 ♪ Walks on by♪ 331 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,495 ♪ Modern love♪ 332 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,596 ♪ Gets me to♪ 333 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,599 ♪ The church on time♪ 334 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:27,801 ♪ Church on time♪ 335 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,502 ♪ Terrifies me♪ 336 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,537 ♪ Church on time♪ 337 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,738 ♪ Makes me party♪ 338 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,273 ♪ Church on time♪ 339 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,876 ♪ Puts my trust in God and man♪ 340 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,411 ♪ God and man♪ 341 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,612 ♪ No confession♪ 342 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:40,814 ♪ God and man♪ 343 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,415 ♪ No religion♪ 344 00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,750 ♪ God and man♪ 345 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,420 ♪ Don't believe in modern love♪ 346 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,725 ♪ It's not really work♪ 347 00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:27,827 ♪ It's just the power to charm♪ 348 00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:30,697 ♪ I'm still standing in The wind♪ 349 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,566 ♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪ 350 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,405 ♪ But I try♪ 351 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,007 ♪ I try♪ 352 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,944 ♪ Never gonna fall for♪ 353 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,613 ♪ Modern love♪ 354 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,847 ♪ Walks beside me♪ 355 00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,349 ♪ Modern love♪ 356 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,483 ♪ Walks on by♪ 357 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,584 ♪ Modern love♪ 358 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,653 ♪ Gets me to the church♪ 359 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,488 ♪ On time♪ 360 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,856 ♪ Modern love...♪ 361 00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,658 Right. You've got your pencil case, 362 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,527 your lunch, your homework? 363 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,928 - Your keys? - Ooh. 364 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,030 Well, 365 00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,866 you've definitely got your recorder so that's good. 366 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,502 Your lovely picture of a spaceship. 367 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,438 It's a cat. 368 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,507 Oh, yes. Of course it is, darling. 369 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,809 What paints did you use? 370 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,712 I used the lipsticks with the C's on them. 371 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,480 - Oh. So creative. - Handbag? 372 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,948 Oh, fuck a duck. 373 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,516 Hello, Billy. 374 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,651 Morning. 375 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,453 Hello, Mabel. 376 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,454 Morning, Bridget. 377 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,555 Hi. 378 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:29,956 Just the usual crap. 379 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,625 Are you going to be my new daddy? 380 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,663 - No, Mum! - No! Mum! 381 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:37,864 When I signed up for having children, 382 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,532 I did not sign up to be ruled by 383 00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,468 a gaggle of computer crackheads. 384 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,769 Well, guess what? 385 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,904 I've had you, I've brought you up, 386 00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,073 and I've changed my mind! 387 00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:50,810 No! No, no, no! 388 00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,813 Don't you touch those or I'll fucking enter you in Squid Game. 389 00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:54,881 Here, darling. 390 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,716 - Come, come. - Mum! 391 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,451 Why don't we ever say hello? 392 00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,087 Oh. Important life lesson, darling. 393 00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:03,456 Never meet your heroes. 394 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,997 Starting today, will not set things on fire, 395 00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:15,168 will responsibly reset passwords not to include the word "fuckwit," 396 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,838 and will not be frightened of the school mums... 397 00:22:18,872 --> 00:22:20,473 Hi. 398 00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,977 in particular, Perfect Nicolette... 399 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,881 with her perfect twins. 400 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,819 Move the car! There's no parking in front of the school. 401 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,654 - How are you? - What? 402 00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,823 I-I thought you were in LA. 403 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,993 - Right. - Mr Walliker? 404 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,029 Mr Walliker, Eros tells me he hasn't been selected for the choir for some reason. 405 00:22:43,063 --> 00:22:45,065 - Correct. - Well, how can that be? 406 00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:47,567 Because he can't sing. Anything else, Mrs Soltani-Watkins? 407 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,570 Mr Walliker, if you have failed to recognise Eros's obvious talents, 408 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,472 - that's hardly his fault. - It's really quite simple. 409 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,075 The choir, like everything else in nature, is chosen on merit. 410 00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:57,477 Yeah, natural selection. 411 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,879 If Eros wants to put in the work, he's welcome to audition again. 412 00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:01,881 If you'll excuse me. Bike! 413 00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:03,683 Bike! Not there. Not there. 414 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:05,051 Who's that? 415 00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,153 Oh. New science teacher. Mr Walliker. 416 00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:08,688 Instant hero. 417 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,490 Unbelievably rude. 418 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,758 He's awful. 419 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:14,127 Move along, please. Right away! 420 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,498 You two! This isn't a stroll on the heath. 421 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:22,168 You don't see me unfolding deck chairs and unwrapping sandwiches, do you? 422 00:23:22,202 --> 00:23:25,038 Move it inside! It's choir in eight minutes. 423 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,741 Mr Walliker. Hello. 424 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,042 I don't believe we've met. 425 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,610 I'm Billy Darcy's mum. 426 00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,113 The boy about to be diagnosed with tinnitus. 427 00:23:33,146 --> 00:23:35,648 The whistle is an essential tool, Mrs Darcy. 428 00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:37,884 Mmm. An essential tool? 429 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,220 What an apt description. 430 00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,190 Eros! Atticus! 431 00:23:44,224 --> 00:23:47,060 If you're late, you will regret it for the rest of your days. 432 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,495 Sorry, sir! 433 00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:56,236 No! 434 00:23:57,237 --> 00:23:58,838 She'll be back later. 435 00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,073 We have a doctor's appointment. 436 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,741 I've got worms! 437 00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:05,111 Why is your granny wearing pyjamas? 438 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,715 That went well. 439 00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,586 "G-O-N-O"... 440 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,221 That's lovely, darling. 441 00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:17,057 - "R-H"... - There you go. 442 00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:18,958 One tablet a day for the entire family, 443 00:24:18,992 --> 00:24:22,195 and if her itching doesn't stop, I suggest you get rid of that cat. 444 00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,564 Have you got some help yet? 445 00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,599 I know it doesn't look it, but really, 446 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,035 - I've got it all in hand. - No, it doesn't look it. 447 00:24:29,069 --> 00:24:32,272 Apart from anything else, I'm a gynaecologist, not a paediatrician. 448 00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:35,975 And whilst I'm happy to step in, you do take my point. 449 00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:39,713 If you say "oxygen mask" to me again, I will hit you with this handbag. 450 00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:41,047 I am not afraid of handbags. 451 00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,183 You need something else to do. 452 00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:45,618 You need a reason to get out of those pyjamas. 453 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:47,721 Well, fashion's never really been your thing. 454 00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:49,856 - Rude. - Pyjamas are all the rage in Milan. 455 00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:53,193 Bridget, in spite of all objective evidence to the contrary, 456 00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,195 you are a bright, talented, brilliant woman. 457 00:24:55,228 --> 00:24:57,731 And my professional advice to you is this. 458 00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,032 - You need... - No. No, no, no. 459 00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:00,700 Please don't tell me to go and have sex. 460 00:25:00,734 --> 00:25:01,935 Oh, good Lord, no. 461 00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:04,070 No. 462 00:25:04,104 --> 00:25:06,606 Read a book. Clean out the kitchen drawers. 463 00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:08,875 Leave the pink bits well enough alone. 464 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:10,143 You'll be ready when you're ready. 465 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:12,946 No, my professional advice to you is this: 466 00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,281 go back to work. 467 00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:17,050 And how's your love life? 468 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,652 On fire. 469 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:23,123 "Sy-P-Lis." 470 00:25:26,126 --> 00:25:29,696 - Mmm. - Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis. 471 00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:30,830 Syphilis. 472 00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:33,099 Mmm. Very good. Very good. 473 00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:36,169 And there's some delicious vegetarian alternatives here too. 474 00:25:38,038 --> 00:25:40,807 Floods, fires and famine. 475 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,810 As the world teeters on the edge of climate catastrophe, 476 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,646 sausages aren't the only thing we are grilling today. 477 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,316 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens joins us after the break. 478 00:25:54,688 --> 00:25:55,955 Hi. 479 00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,057 Oh, thank God you picked up. 480 00:25:57,090 --> 00:25:59,059 What's the matter? 481 00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:01,661 They've got the bloody Environment Secretary on in 45 seconds 482 00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:04,364 and they've got me asking her questions about bloody tea bags. 483 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,666 "What's the best way to recycle tea bags?" 484 00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:08,702 "Can you clean surfaces with tea"... 485 00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:09,736 I need you, Bridget! 486 00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,671 OK. Uh... 487 00:26:11,705 --> 00:26:13,373 Ask her... 488 00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:15,742 Ask her why there were no tax breaks for renewable energy 489 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,644 - in last week's budget. - Brilliant. 490 00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:20,180 She'll fob you off with some crap about economic constraints 491 00:26:20,213 --> 00:26:24,284 and then you nail her on oil and gas companies ring-fencing their profits. 492 00:26:24,317 --> 00:26:26,886 - Yes, I do. - She'll flap! 493 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,690 And then you nuke her arse on the government's support for fracking. 494 00:26:30,724 --> 00:26:31,825 Ooh. 495 00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,760 I fracking love you, Bridget Jones. 496 00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:35,362 - Hi, Bridge. - Yes! 497 00:26:35,395 --> 00:26:39,199 Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out about the tea bags though. 498 00:26:39,232 --> 00:26:41,167 - Love you. Bye. Bye. - Love you. Bye! 499 00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:44,704 Welcome back. 500 00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:46,106 Our next guest is. 501 00:26:46,139 --> 00:26:48,241 Environment Secretary Sarah Givens. 502 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:53,046 Sarah, budget, tax breaks, fracking. 503 00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,015 Justify. 504 00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:56,416 And no fob-off! 505 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,056 Could you please put me through to Richard Finch's office? 506 00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:05,158 My name's Bridget Jones. 507 00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:08,428 Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks. 508 00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,880 Billy, I want to watch SpongeBob. 509 00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,482 Billy, come off that, please. 510 00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,184 You've had your screen time. 511 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,987 One, two... 512 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,422 But, Mummy, it's Sunday. 513 00:27:35,455 --> 00:27:36,322 No. 514 00:27:36,356 --> 00:27:37,424 Can I watch SpongeBob? 515 00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:40,160 May I watch SpongeBob. 516 00:27:40,193 --> 00:27:41,761 Yes? 517 00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,997 No, you've got to say, "may I," not "can I." 518 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,165 May I watch SpongeBob? 519 00:27:45,198 --> 00:27:47,767 - No. - But, Mummy! 520 00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,336 No, no, no, no. 521 00:27:49,369 --> 00:27:52,005 No more screens, either of you. 522 00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:54,407 Screens have been proven to shorten attention spans and... 523 00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:56,109 Ooh! 524 00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:57,944 No. 525 00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,113 Will you come and practise cricket with me in the garden? 526 00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:02,782 Mummy really needs to work, darling. Why don't you play with Mabel? 527 00:28:02,816 --> 00:28:05,752 She refuses to hit the ball. She says she feels sorry for Ball-y. 528 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:07,320 Ball-y. 529 00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,988 Darling, please go and play cricket with Billy. 530 00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:10,957 I may not! 531 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:23,036 Is it too much to ask to get some bloody peace all by my bloody self 532 00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:24,971 for five bloody minutes? 533 00:28:25,005 --> 00:28:26,506 Internet's down! 534 00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,308 I want to watch SpongeBob. 535 00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:30,477 Tell Billy it's my turn. 536 00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:34,247 - Mummy! - I don't want to be a mummy right now. 537 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,949 You had it for ages! 538 00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,485 I didn't even have it today. It's my turn! 539 00:28:38,518 --> 00:28:40,086 Mummy! 540 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,388 There's no Internet! 541 00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:44,224 I just want to sit down 542 00:28:44,257 --> 00:28:48,862 in echoing silence on my own for one moment. 543 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,364 - Mummy! Mummy! - Just shut up! 544 00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,243 Shark bait! 545 00:29:03,276 --> 00:29:04,477 Come and get it! 546 00:29:06,279 --> 00:29:07,814 Okay. You asked for it! 547 00:29:07,847 --> 00:29:09,082 Miranda? 548 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:10,383 All right, Bridge? 549 00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:12,585 What're you doing here? 550 00:29:12,619 --> 00:29:15,855 So I was reading the newspaper in Soho House 551 00:29:15,889 --> 00:29:20,126 and it was so, so quiet, you know? 552 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,529 I just miss all this. 553 00:29:22,562 --> 00:29:28,301 Off milk, stuff, clutter, children, life. 554 00:29:28,335 --> 00:29:30,003 Plenty of that here. 555 00:29:30,036 --> 00:29:31,271 You don't have any champagne. 556 00:29:31,304 --> 00:29:33,139 Top tip: 557 00:29:33,173 --> 00:29:36,343 always keep a cold bottle of champagne 558 00:29:36,376 --> 00:29:38,378 in the fridge for emergencies. 559 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,214 That's excellent advice. 560 00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:42,449 Cards on the table, 561 00:29:42,482 --> 00:29:45,952 I'm thinking of unfreezing my eggs. 562 00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:49,089 Apparently, everyone is going to Denmark 563 00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:50,256 to get sperm. 564 00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:51,591 - Oh. - Yeah. 565 00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:54,994 But I want what you have. All of this. 566 00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:59,232 But Soho House and-and Sunday papers and cold champagne... 567 00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:00,600 You're free, Bridge. 568 00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,903 You're liberated from the tyranny of this. 569 00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:07,173 Do you know how many dating apps I use? 570 00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,408 Could you look sexy? 571 00:30:08,441 --> 00:30:10,043 Well, I mean... 572 00:30:10,076 --> 00:30:13,446 I might still brush up OK given enough time. 573 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,914 No, I mean for this photo. 574 00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:17,250 I've set you up on Tinder. 575 00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:19,185 - What? - You're welcome. 576 00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:21,454 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - Well, I've popped you down as a widow. 577 00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:23,456 It's so much more romantic and singular. 578 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,359 We all agree it's what you need. 579 00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:28,928 What's Tinder? 580 00:30:28,962 --> 00:30:30,196 It's... 581 00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:33,233 such a lovely day. 582 00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:36,936 Who wants to, um, go to the heath? 583 00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,239 - No, I don't wanna go! - No, SpongeBob! 584 00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:41,608 Oh, OK. That's no problem. 585 00:30:41,641 --> 00:30:43,109 Uh, sure. 586 00:30:43,143 --> 00:30:44,678 Um, you stay here, 587 00:30:44,711 --> 00:30:50,383 and I'll just, uh, take these chocolate buttons. Ooh! 588 00:30:50,417 --> 00:30:53,620 - Let's go, nutters! - Can't wait! 589 00:30:53,653 --> 00:30:56,089 Children and fresh air and white chocolate buttons. 590 00:30:56,122 --> 00:30:58,591 I feel like Julie Andrews! 591 00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,493 Oh! I just got matched with someone. 592 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,228 Sorry, Mabel, could you just get off, actually, 593 00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:03,563 'cause you're killing my back. 594 00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:07,467 Uh, he's on a street corner... in a van. 595 00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:12,372 - He looks like Jason Statham... - Mmm. 596 00:31:12,405 --> 00:31:14,174 if you squint. 597 00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:15,508 In a bit, Bridge. 598 00:31:15,542 --> 00:31:17,110 Bye, kids. See you. 599 00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:18,645 - Bye! - Bye. 600 00:31:24,317 --> 00:31:28,688 Oh, how everything calms down once you're outside in blue skies 601 00:31:28,722 --> 00:31:32,392 turning the children into biddable lemurs. 602 00:31:32,425 --> 00:31:36,496 Will obviously delete Tinder immediately. 603 00:31:36,529 --> 00:31:38,698 But perhaps a very quick look first. 604 00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:45,672 Keith? 605 00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,575 Who are you, Keith? 606 00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:55,415 Feel suddenly exposed to whole new world hiding in plain sight 607 00:31:55,448 --> 00:31:57,350 like Narnia through back of wardrobe, 608 00:31:57,384 --> 00:32:00,086 but with lion and witch shagging. 609 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,989 Mummy! Mabel's stuck up the tree! 610 00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:05,158 - How'd she get up there? - Mummy! 611 00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,192 Coming! 612 00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:11,698 Okay. 613 00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:14,134 No, it's... it's all right. 614 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:17,137 - I can't get down either. - It's all right. I'm here. 615 00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,439 Uh. 616 00:32:19,472 --> 00:32:21,441 Billy. Is that you? 617 00:32:21,474 --> 00:32:23,510 Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker. 618 00:32:23,543 --> 00:32:25,478 Everything all right, Mrs Darcy? 619 00:32:25,512 --> 00:32:28,381 Yep. Super. 620 00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:30,050 Just climbing a tree. 621 00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:32,052 I can see that. 622 00:32:32,085 --> 00:32:32,752 Having fun? 623 00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:35,221 Yes. Yeah, this is really fun. 624 00:32:37,824 --> 00:32:40,193 - You sure you don't need a hand? - No, no. 625 00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:41,728 As Einstein said, 626 00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:45,231 "What goes up must come down." 627 00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:47,067 - Newton. - Yes. 628 00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:49,202 Newton. 629 00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:50,570 We're going to die! 630 00:32:50,603 --> 00:32:53,206 No, we're not going to die. We're having fun. 631 00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:55,475 We are definitely going to die. 632 00:32:55,508 --> 00:32:57,777 Clearly you've got this nicely in hand. 633 00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,714 Look, there's a policeman. 634 00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:05,685 Oh, my God. 635 00:33:05,719 --> 00:33:08,054 I've climbed a magical man tree. 636 00:33:09,122 --> 00:33:10,290 - Are you stuck? - Yes! 637 00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:12,092 No. 638 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,527 - Do they need help? - Apparently not. 639 00:33:16,262 --> 00:33:18,298 So, I'll... I'll be off then. 640 00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:20,066 Bye-bye. 641 00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,372 Okay. I'll be off too. 642 00:33:25,405 --> 00:33:27,540 Don't go away. 643 00:33:27,574 --> 00:33:29,642 No, seriously. Don't go away. 644 00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:32,212 Hang on. I'm coming. 645 00:33:33,313 --> 00:33:34,414 Okay. Coming up. 646 00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,284 Uh... 647 00:33:38,318 --> 00:33:40,120 Hello. 648 00:33:40,153 --> 00:33:42,055 Okay, just... Hang on. 649 00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:48,194 Hello. 650 00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:49,396 Hi, mate. 651 00:33:49,429 --> 00:33:50,697 - Hi, what's your name? - Mabel. 652 00:33:50,730 --> 00:33:52,866 - Mabel. - I can't jump down. 653 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:56,302 Okay. Well, you sit down there. 654 00:33:56,336 --> 00:33:59,172 You get comfy, and I'm gonna go down there and catch you, OK? 655 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,409 - Okay, you ready? - Yeah. 656 00:34:02,442 --> 00:34:04,310 Three, two, one, go! 657 00:34:04,344 --> 00:34:07,280 - I did it! - I've got you. Well done. 658 00:34:07,313 --> 00:34:08,848 All right, big man. Your turn. 659 00:34:08,882 --> 00:34:11,751 Okay. You got this, mate. There we go. 660 00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:13,153 - Next foot. - That's it, darling. 661 00:34:13,186 --> 00:34:15,422 And I've got you. 662 00:34:15,455 --> 00:34:17,223 Okay, Mum. 663 00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:18,525 Okay. 664 00:34:18,558 --> 00:34:19,659 There we go. 665 00:34:19,693 --> 00:34:21,294 - Okay. - Okay. 666 00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,198 - You all right? - Yes. 667 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:27,600 Yes. 668 00:34:28,368 --> 00:34:29,602 Okay. 669 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:31,604 Thank you. 670 00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:35,175 Thank you. 671 00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:35,875 It's all right. 672 00:34:37,677 --> 00:34:40,313 Uh, I'm Roxby. But you can call me Roxster. 673 00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:42,515 Bridget Jones. 674 00:34:42,549 --> 00:34:44,284 But you can call her Mummy. 675 00:34:44,317 --> 00:34:46,353 Hmm. Okay. 676 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,188 Oh. 677 00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:50,857 I think this is yours. 678 00:34:53,493 --> 00:34:54,627 Thanks. 679 00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:57,864 Anything else I can help with? 680 00:34:57,897 --> 00:34:59,332 God, yes. 681 00:34:59,366 --> 00:35:00,367 No. 682 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:02,802 Okay. 683 00:35:02,836 --> 00:35:05,205 It's nice to meet you, Roxy. 684 00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:06,906 It's Roxster. 685 00:35:09,376 --> 00:35:11,911 You too, Bridget Jones. 686 00:35:18,385 --> 00:35:21,254 Now obsessed with tree-rescuing Adonis 687 00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:25,592 and reentering world of flirting simultaneously with workforce. 688 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,561 - Mrs Darcy. - Mr Walliker. 689 00:35:28,595 --> 00:35:32,365 Weapon at the ready, I see. 690 00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:35,669 Good to see you managed to extricate yourself from that tree. 691 00:35:35,702 --> 00:35:38,238 Oh, yes. It's the children's favourite game. 692 00:35:38,271 --> 00:35:42,342 We're completely obsessed with the outdoors in our house. 693 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,311 Well, I'll have to put you down for our Outward Bound trip next term. 694 00:35:45,345 --> 00:35:46,780 Sounds like it'd be right up your street. 695 00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:48,448 Fucking fuck. 696 00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,517 Yeah. Good. 697 00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:53,353 Do you have my slime? I promised I'd show Cosmata. 698 00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:56,456 Oh. 699 00:35:58,992 --> 00:36:00,360 Hey, those are mine. 700 00:36:00,393 --> 00:36:01,795 Give them to me. 701 00:36:03,963 --> 00:36:07,400 They are actually hers. 702 00:36:07,434 --> 00:36:08,468 Well, in that case... 703 00:36:12,939 --> 00:36:14,708 Bridget! 704 00:36:14,741 --> 00:36:16,443 You're dressed properly. 705 00:36:17,277 --> 00:36:18,545 Odd. 706 00:36:18,578 --> 00:36:20,413 Heading to a meeting. 707 00:36:20,447 --> 00:36:22,816 Thinking about going back to my old job. 708 00:36:22,849 --> 00:36:25,885 Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down for Jobs Day then. 709 00:36:25,919 --> 00:36:27,687 Fucking fuckety fuck fuck. 710 00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:30,023 Yes, absolutely. 711 00:36:30,056 --> 00:36:32,959 Celestine, merci. C'est gentil. 712 00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:35,428 Actually, do you mind tidying this up a little bit? 713 00:36:35,462 --> 00:36:36,930 Sure. 714 00:36:36,963 --> 00:36:38,698 Uh, what about the children? Do you have a nanny? 715 00:36:38,732 --> 00:36:40,033 Not yet. 716 00:36:40,066 --> 00:36:42,769 Oh, I've got the perfect person. She's excellent. 717 00:36:42,802 --> 00:36:44,838 She's very pretty, but that doesn't matter, Bridget, 718 00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:46,906 because you don't have a husband, 719 00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:49,843 so it's absolutely immaterial how pretty and perfect she is. 720 00:36:49,876 --> 00:36:51,978 - Sounds good. - There we go. 721 00:36:52,012 --> 00:36:54,414 - Francesca. - Sorry. 722 00:36:54,447 --> 00:36:55,749 Wonderful. 723 00:36:55,782 --> 00:36:57,851 It's nothing. I just threw it together. 724 00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,386 Ah. 725 00:36:59,419 --> 00:37:01,354 Bridget? Your donation? 726 00:37:01,888 --> 00:37:03,423 You didn't forget? 727 00:37:03,456 --> 00:37:05,925 No. 728 00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:08,862 Certainly not. 729 00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:11,865 Uh, let's see. 730 00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:13,333 Here we are. 731 00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:16,536 Hummus. 732 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,004 And, uh... 733 00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:25,745 Rice cakes. 734 00:37:25,779 --> 00:37:29,616 And look, they've even been opened already. 735 00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:33,019 Lovely. 736 00:37:33,053 --> 00:37:36,656 Ah. Her name's Chloe, and she'll be with you at 6:30. 737 00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,492 Raef! India! Get inside. 738 00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:40,927 That's enough chatting. 739 00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:44,064 Bridget Jones. 740 00:37:44,864 --> 00:37:46,066 Thank you. 741 00:38:17,831 --> 00:38:19,366 Four. 742 00:38:19,399 --> 00:38:20,100 Four. 743 00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:37,717 - Three. - Three. 744 00:38:37,751 --> 00:38:39,652 Thank you. 745 00:38:41,821 --> 00:38:43,490 This is Bridget Jones about to 746 00:38:43,523 --> 00:38:47,027 go into an actual in-person meeting. 747 00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:51,498 - Brenda Jones? - Oh, actually, it's... 748 00:38:51,531 --> 00:38:54,167 Bridget Jones, there you are. Excellent. Quick, come with me. 749 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,436 - Thank you, Lizzie. - Thanks. 750 00:38:57,837 --> 00:38:59,873 Good to see ya. How have you been? 751 00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,809 You look hot. 752 00:39:02,842 --> 00:39:05,111 Oh. Thank you, Richard. 753 00:39:05,145 --> 00:39:08,481 But I think you'll find that sort of language is a little outmoded 754 00:39:08,515 --> 00:39:10,750 - in the workplace. - No, I mean flustered. 755 00:39:10,784 --> 00:39:12,485 Are you going through the, uh, you know? 756 00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:18,124 Bridget, let me introduce you to Talitha. 757 00:39:18,158 --> 00:39:21,761 Richard, what am I supposed to do with this, huh? 758 00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:23,596 Does it climb? Does it stand on one leg? 759 00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:26,132 Does it do cartwheels? It's a tortoise. It doesn't do anything. 760 00:39:26,166 --> 00:39:28,635 He can't pull out. Who the fuck does he think he is? 761 00:39:28,668 --> 00:39:30,670 Arrogant, self-important prick. 762 00:39:30,704 --> 00:39:33,907 Tell that selfish arsehole he can rot in hell. 763 00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:35,809 The Dalai Lama's cancelled. 764 00:39:35,842 --> 00:39:37,877 Twat. Shit. 765 00:39:37,911 --> 00:39:40,980 Okay, we've got an hour till we're on air. 766 00:39:41,014 --> 00:39:42,749 We need a replacement. Let me make a call. 767 00:39:42,782 --> 00:39:44,050 I do Krav Maga with Fergie. 768 00:39:44,084 --> 00:39:45,819 Duchess or Black Eyed Pea? 769 00:39:45,852 --> 00:39:47,887 Duchess. She could be here in 45. 770 00:39:47,921 --> 00:39:51,725 Talitha, meet Bridget Jones. Best producer we've ever had. 771 00:39:51,758 --> 00:39:52,859 Oh. 772 00:39:52,892 --> 00:39:54,594 I'm sure you're very good too. 773 00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:55,762 Huge fan. 774 00:39:55,795 --> 00:39:56,996 Hold this. 775 00:39:57,030 --> 00:39:58,898 Loved your early work from Chechnya. 776 00:39:58,932 --> 00:40:02,502 Now I'm doing features on incontinent tortoises. 777 00:40:02,535 --> 00:40:03,770 Fergie. 778 00:40:03,803 --> 00:40:05,572 Are those glutes burning up? 779 00:40:05,605 --> 00:40:06,172 Hello. 780 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,608 - Hey. Sorry. - Right. 781 00:40:08,641 --> 00:40:12,012 Uh, right. Let's get rid of this set, please, now! 782 00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:14,014 So, what do you think? 783 00:40:14,047 --> 00:40:15,782 Can we lure you back? 784 00:40:15,815 --> 00:40:17,784 Fergie's in. 785 00:40:17,817 --> 00:40:21,054 Does anyone know how to get tortoise piss out of silk? 786 00:40:21,087 --> 00:40:23,656 Blotting and mild detergent. 787 00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,992 When can I start? 788 00:40:28,294 --> 00:40:31,097 Am rejoining ranks of London's employed 789 00:40:31,131 --> 00:40:34,801 and meaningfully contributing to society. 790 00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:39,673 Can walk with head held high and be role model for Billy and Mabel, 791 00:40:39,706 --> 00:40:44,244 saving them from otherwise certain future as alcoholic wards of the state. 792 00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:49,616 It's super that the television's invited you back. 793 00:40:49,649 --> 00:40:52,052 Of course, I always stayed at home when you were little. 794 00:40:52,085 --> 00:40:53,019 Classic Mum. 795 00:40:53,053 --> 00:40:54,688 Can't really talk, Mum. 796 00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:56,856 I've got to tidy up before the nanny gets here. 797 00:40:56,890 --> 00:40:58,224 A nanny? Really? 798 00:40:58,258 --> 00:41:01,861 Mummy doesn't love us anymore. Ow! 799 00:41:01,895 --> 00:41:04,731 Ever since Mum and Una moved into Audsley House, 800 00:41:04,764 --> 00:41:07,267 the retirement home we have to pretend is a hotel, 801 00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,102 the phone calls have been the same. 802 00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:11,771 Any men on the horizon, Bridget? 803 00:41:11,805 --> 00:41:14,874 Well, there's got to be someone. Some people don't mind a widow. 804 00:41:14,908 --> 00:41:16,576 Stings a bit. 805 00:41:16,609 --> 00:41:18,578 Beggars can't be choosers, Bridget. 806 00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:21,614 And now, look, we're in the hotel kitchen 807 00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:24,284 doing salmon in the sous vide. 808 00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:26,619 I mean, it's basically boil-in-the-bag, 809 00:41:26,653 --> 00:41:28,988 but everybody's doing it these days. 810 00:41:29,022 --> 00:41:31,591 Roxster. Definite development. 811 00:41:31,624 --> 00:41:33,126 Cooking's never really been your thing. 812 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:35,762 Oh, must go. Bye, Mum! 813 00:41:35,795 --> 00:41:36,796 Bye, bye. 814 00:41:36,830 --> 00:41:38,198 Oh, God, it's her. 815 00:41:40,967 --> 00:41:42,569 Hi, I'm Chloe. 816 00:41:43,703 --> 00:41:44,671 Hello. 817 00:41:46,172 --> 00:41:47,974 What the actual fuck? 818 00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,643 She looks like a film star. 819 00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,145 Chloe, this is Mabel. 820 00:41:52,178 --> 00:41:54,914 Look, I can play the recorder with my nose. 821 00:41:56,716 --> 00:41:59,019 Children, this is Chloe. 822 00:41:59,052 --> 00:42:01,021 She's going to come and help with everything. 823 00:42:01,054 --> 00:42:02,889 Nicolette mentioned it would be a challenge, 824 00:42:02,922 --> 00:42:05,025 - but I've certainly seen worse. - Oh. 825 00:42:05,058 --> 00:42:07,994 Oh, and this is Billy, the science genius. 826 00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:11,898 Ooh, we mustn't pigeonhole children. It adds undue pressure. 827 00:42:11,931 --> 00:42:14,000 Have you read How To Raise a Self-Driven Child? 828 00:42:14,034 --> 00:42:15,635 Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list, 829 00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:18,972 so do not spoil the ending. 830 00:42:19,005 --> 00:42:20,740 Oh, not to worry, Billy. 831 00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:22,676 It's not about the result. It's about the journey. 832 00:42:22,709 --> 00:42:24,978 There's something to learn whether you get an A or a C. 833 00:42:25,011 --> 00:42:28,314 Billy has never had a C in... 834 00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:30,116 Who did this? 835 00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:32,185 Mr Walliker. 836 00:42:32,218 --> 00:42:35,722 I drew the earth and the atmosphere, and I put heaven over the top. 837 00:42:35,755 --> 00:42:38,892 And Mr Walliker said that heaven was a religious construct. 838 00:42:38,925 --> 00:42:40,193 And he gave me a C. 839 00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:42,228 Well, Mr Walliker 840 00:42:42,262 --> 00:42:44,998 is a whistle-obsessed fascist 841 00:42:45,031 --> 00:42:48,234 with all the soul of a non-stick wok. 842 00:42:48,268 --> 00:42:50,670 Where did you hide the chocolate digestives? 843 00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:53,239 I didn't hide... 844 00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:55,875 anything. 845 00:42:57,277 --> 00:43:00,180 Well, plenty to do here. 846 00:43:02,048 --> 00:43:04,684 ♪ If my body was a boat Could you steer that, sailor? ♪ 847 00:43:04,718 --> 00:43:08,088 ♪ Make it feel Like it's a 1960s Hollywood trailer...♪ 848 00:43:08,121 --> 00:43:11,825 Consumed with guilt re hideously perfect nanny, 849 00:43:11,858 --> 00:43:14,327 who children will obviously come to love more than hopeless mother 850 00:43:14,361 --> 00:43:16,262 without film star hair. 851 00:43:16,296 --> 00:43:18,965 ♪ Ooh, it's what I need Yes, 'cause♪ 852 00:43:18,998 --> 00:43:23,136 ♪ I could love you♪ 853 00:43:23,169 --> 00:43:27,807 ♪ If I really wanted to♪ 854 00:43:27,841 --> 00:43:31,244 ♪ You could be Be my glass of wine♪ 855 00:43:31,277 --> 00:43:33,913 ♪ When the sun set Help me exhale all the excess♪ 856 00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:37,417 ♪ Baby, bae, b-b-bae B-b-baby, would you♪ 857 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:39,919 ♪ Would you make it all right?♪ - 858 00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:41,287 ♪ Or maybe that much better?♪ 859 00:43:41,321 --> 00:43:42,989 ♪ If you wanted You could make it♪ 860 00:43:43,023 --> 00:43:45,125 ♪ All worth it, worth it Worth it, worth it♪ 861 00:43:45,158 --> 00:43:50,130 ♪ Ooh, when I see the sun rising You make it that much better♪ 862 00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:52,999 ♪ So I hope you're gonna make it All worth it, worth it...♪ 863 00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:56,403 And texting Roxster slowly became part of my life. 864 00:43:56,436 --> 00:44:00,473 A relationship with no necessity for actually meeting, 865 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:04,811 or arrangements, or sex, or any real life at all. 866 00:44:04,844 --> 00:44:08,982 In other words, the perfect relationship. 867 00:44:09,015 --> 00:44:11,317 Is that the tree Adonis? 868 00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:14,387 Wait a minute. 869 00:44:14,421 --> 00:44:17,824 You wrote to him, "How are you liking Tinder?" 870 00:44:17,857 --> 00:44:20,293 Inoffensive, neutral, a bit dull. 871 00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:24,197 He replied, "Don't know, only joined it to find you, Bridget Jones." 872 00:44:25,265 --> 00:44:27,400 - Shag him now. - Mm-mmm. 873 00:44:27,434 --> 00:44:30,270 Then he sent a smiley emoji 874 00:44:30,303 --> 00:44:34,207 and then you responded with the flag of Greece, 875 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:37,944 an abacus and a duck. 876 00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,115 I panicked. 877 00:44:42,148 --> 00:44:43,383 Thank you. 878 00:44:43,416 --> 00:44:45,318 Who's next? 879 00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:48,088 Do you want to go for a drink? 880 00:44:48,121 --> 00:44:50,323 I'm so flattered. 881 00:44:50,357 --> 00:44:52,859 Um, but I've got a boyfriend. 882 00:44:52,892 --> 00:44:56,796 Well, sort of got a boyfriend. I think. 883 00:44:56,830 --> 00:45:00,033 Um, so nice of you to ask, but, um... 884 00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:03,370 no, thank you. 885 00:45:03,403 --> 00:45:05,805 No, it's part of the meal deal. 886 00:45:09,209 --> 00:45:10,310 Well, this one's easy. 887 00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:13,113 You absolutely must go. Obviously. 888 00:45:13,146 --> 00:45:16,516 But we've been texting for so long now. I can't meet him. 889 00:45:16,549 --> 00:45:18,451 I mean, maybe it's like in Jane Austen's day 890 00:45:18,485 --> 00:45:20,286 when they did letter writing for months and months 891 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:21,955 and then suddenly just got married. 892 00:45:21,988 --> 00:45:25,191 Bridget, sexting a man that you just met in a park 893 00:45:25,225 --> 00:45:26,960 is nothing like Jane Austen's day. 894 00:45:26,993 --> 00:45:29,829 - If you don't shag him, I will. - I can't. 895 00:45:29,863 --> 00:45:33,199 There is no possibility of being naked with a man at this point in my life. 896 00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,402 You just need a little rebrand. 897 00:45:35,435 --> 00:45:37,103 You'll start by getting a slip. 898 00:45:37,137 --> 00:45:38,905 - A slip? - Yeah, with a slip, 899 00:45:38,938 --> 00:45:41,374 you can show off your arms, your legs, your décolletage, 900 00:45:41,408 --> 00:45:43,043 which are always the last to go. 901 00:45:43,076 --> 00:45:44,511 And keep the central area, 902 00:45:44,544 --> 00:45:47,414 which one might want to gloss over, glossed over. 903 00:45:47,447 --> 00:45:48,982 And get a Brazilian. 904 00:45:49,015 --> 00:45:50,450 God, no. 905 00:45:50,483 --> 00:45:52,218 I like a bit of coverage down there. 906 00:45:52,252 --> 00:45:54,120 Or run a comb through it at least. 907 00:45:54,154 --> 00:45:56,222 But also, do get a Brazilian. 908 00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:58,024 Just dust it. Dust it down. 909 00:45:58,992 --> 00:46:00,460 Okay, I'll go! 910 00:46:00,493 --> 00:46:03,296 But I'm not going to sleep with him. 911 00:46:04,931 --> 00:46:07,100 Are condoms meant to be coloured? 912 00:46:07,133 --> 00:46:09,102 Is hypersensitive good? 913 00:46:09,135 --> 00:46:11,471 Large? Small? Oh. 914 00:46:11,504 --> 00:46:14,908 Maybe just purchase a representative selection. 915 00:46:23,249 --> 00:46:24,317 Regular. 916 00:46:26,086 --> 00:46:27,420 Mmm, exotic flavours. 917 00:46:30,123 --> 00:46:31,224 Thin feel. 918 00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:34,894 Extra-large. 919 00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:37,597 Pleasure Me. 920 00:46:39,499 --> 00:46:41,401 Lube. 921 00:46:42,602 --> 00:46:44,337 Pleasure Me again. 922 00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,016 Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy. 923 00:47:05,058 --> 00:47:06,960 Hello, old friend. 924 00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:16,102 Hmm. 925 00:47:17,637 --> 00:47:18,938 Thanks for having the kids tonight. 926 00:47:18,972 --> 00:47:20,440 Always a pleasure, never a chore. 927 00:47:20,473 --> 00:47:21,908 I'll take them to school in the morning. 928 00:47:21,941 --> 00:47:25,912 So you can stay out as late as you want. 929 00:47:25,945 --> 00:47:28,048 Make up for four years of no shagging. 930 00:47:28,081 --> 00:47:29,449 It's only a drink. 931 00:47:32,185 --> 00:47:33,987 Too see-through? 932 00:47:34,020 --> 00:47:36,222 Mmm. Definitely. 933 00:47:36,256 --> 00:47:37,457 OK. 934 00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:40,093 How about this? 935 00:47:42,228 --> 00:47:44,230 OK. 936 00:47:44,264 --> 00:47:46,499 The reality suddenly completely terrifying, 937 00:47:46,533 --> 00:47:48,335 and Mark, and insane and flabby. 938 00:47:48,368 --> 00:47:49,602 And oh, God, oh, God. 939 00:47:49,636 --> 00:47:50,970 I can't. 940 00:47:51,004 --> 00:47:52,972 - I really can't. - Oh. What? What? 941 00:47:53,006 --> 00:47:56,009 - No, I just can't. - Aw. Hey, you can. 942 00:47:56,042 --> 00:48:00,080 You just need to think of it as widening your circle of friends. 943 00:48:00,113 --> 00:48:01,181 That's all. 944 00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:03,950 Hmm? 945 00:48:03,983 --> 00:48:05,251 Come on. 946 00:48:05,285 --> 00:48:07,354 Put on the dress, get out of here 947 00:48:07,387 --> 00:48:09,589 and widen your fucking circle. 948 00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:30,610 Oh, God. Look at him. 949 00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:32,612 What if he's perfect? 950 00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:43,156 Hello. 951 00:48:43,189 --> 00:48:44,124 Hi. 952 00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:50,163 There's a really great place around here that's been here for forever. 953 00:48:50,196 --> 00:48:51,564 Do you know this area at all? 954 00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:54,567 Mmm, I used to. 955 00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:58,171 Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger thing is just a day job. 956 00:48:58,204 --> 00:49:01,007 And my real passion is garbage. 957 00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,444 Really? 958 00:49:04,477 --> 00:49:08,014 The technical term is garbologist. 959 00:49:08,048 --> 00:49:11,384 I'm a biochemist. Studying to be one. 960 00:49:11,418 --> 00:49:13,119 You're a student. 961 00:49:13,153 --> 00:49:15,355 A late-in-life one, anyway. Yeah. 962 00:49:15,388 --> 00:49:17,323 How late? 963 00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:18,558 I'm 28. 964 00:49:19,526 --> 00:49:21,127 I'm just kidding. 965 00:49:21,161 --> 00:49:22,495 I'm 29. 966 00:49:23,029 --> 00:49:24,631 Fuck. 967 00:49:24,664 --> 00:49:27,300 Is he closer in age to me or to Billy? 968 00:49:27,334 --> 00:49:28,568 What about you? 969 00:49:29,836 --> 00:49:31,237 You are... 970 00:49:31,271 --> 00:49:33,340 Slightly older. 971 00:49:33,373 --> 00:49:36,476 I'm gonna say 35-ish. 972 00:49:36,509 --> 00:49:38,078 Yes. 973 00:49:38,111 --> 00:49:39,112 Bull's-eye. 974 00:49:40,246 --> 00:49:41,648 Let's say 35. 975 00:49:41,681 --> 00:49:43,149 - Mmm. Thirty-five it is. - Mm-hmm. 976 00:49:45,118 --> 00:49:46,619 Is 35 all right? 977 00:49:46,653 --> 00:49:48,555 I think older women, 978 00:49:48,588 --> 00:49:51,324 ever so slightly older women, 979 00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:54,094 have a wiser view on life. 980 00:49:54,127 --> 00:49:56,363 You know, they're more experienced 981 00:49:56,396 --> 00:49:59,666 and more emotionally mature. 982 00:49:59,699 --> 00:50:01,534 Me in a nutshell. 983 00:50:01,568 --> 00:50:04,537 I find that very attractive. 984 00:50:27,327 --> 00:50:31,231 Oh, God. I have no idea how any of this works anymore. 985 00:50:32,732 --> 00:50:34,601 Is it all right if I kiss you? 986 00:50:37,704 --> 00:50:40,807 Aw. The generation who ask. 987 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,176 I think that would be acceptable. 988 00:51:34,461 --> 00:51:36,596 Give me just one moment. 989 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,642 Oh, my God. 990 00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:52,846 What are you doing? 991 00:52:16,636 --> 00:52:19,773 ♪ Put your hand down, boy♪ 992 00:52:19,806 --> 00:52:22,942 ♪ Welcome to my zoo♪ 993 00:52:22,976 --> 00:52:26,546 ♪ Put your head inside My big, black wild while♪ 994 00:52:26,579 --> 00:52:29,683 ♪ I can still help you♪ 995 00:52:29,716 --> 00:52:32,786 ♪ See the snake-baboon♪ 996 00:52:32,819 --> 00:52:35,922 ♪ Funky, chic and smooth♪ 997 00:52:35,955 --> 00:52:39,659 ♪ Honey, can you spy The divine ape-swine♪ 998 00:52:39,693 --> 00:52:43,963 ♪ 'Cause he can see you♪ 999 00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:48,668 I... 1000 00:52:48,702 --> 00:52:49,803 You all right? 1001 00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:51,271 Yeah. It's just... 1002 00:52:53,306 --> 00:52:54,507 Yeah. Okay. 1003 00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:56,776 Wow. It's really tight. 1004 00:53:00,313 --> 00:53:04,284 ♪ I'm a man I'm a twisted fool♪ 1005 00:53:04,317 --> 00:53:07,554 ♪ My hands are twisted, too...♪ 1006 00:53:09,456 --> 00:53:11,791 ♪ I am an animal...♪ -Oh, God. 1007 00:53:11,825 --> 00:53:14,294 ♪ ...that starts with E♪ 1008 00:53:14,327 --> 00:53:15,562 - Mabel's. - Ah. 1009 00:53:16,730 --> 00:53:17,964 ♪ I'm a man♪ 1010 00:53:17,997 --> 00:53:20,767 ♪ I'm a twisted fool♪ 1011 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,937 ♪ My hands are twisted too♪ 1012 00:53:23,970 --> 00:53:26,406 ♪ Five fingers Two black hooves♪ 1013 00:53:26,439 --> 00:53:27,741 You make me so hard, baby. 1014 00:53:27,774 --> 00:53:30,543 You make me hard. 1015 00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:33,413 What? 1016 00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:36,916 ♪ Got toes and I can smile♪ 1017 00:53:36,950 --> 00:53:42,022 ♪ I'm crooked but upright♪ 1018 00:54:12,052 --> 00:54:14,354 How did that happen? I'm using protection. 1019 00:54:16,856 --> 00:54:22,729 ♪ La, la, la, la Whoo♪ 1020 00:54:22,762 --> 00:54:24,698 ♪ I'm so nine-to-five♪ 1021 00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:26,032 - Hi, Bridge. - Morning. 1022 00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:27,701 I've got coffee and I've got Ricky Gervais's 1023 00:54:27,734 --> 00:54:29,736 requests for today's show. 1024 00:54:29,769 --> 00:54:31,805 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1025 00:54:31,838 --> 00:54:33,773 - It's big. - Yeah. 1026 00:54:33,807 --> 00:54:36,009 - A relaxation corner. - Uh-huh. 1027 00:54:36,042 --> 00:54:38,378 Three full-length mirrors. 1028 00:54:38,411 --> 00:54:41,448 And he'll only use La Mer for some reason? 1029 00:54:41,481 --> 00:54:42,916 I know. 1030 00:54:42,949 --> 00:54:45,518 - Ooh. Three, please. - Three. 1031 00:54:45,552 --> 00:54:47,420 Did you have sex last night? 1032 00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:49,656 What? No. 1033 00:54:49,689 --> 00:54:51,057 ♪ Won't you take a hold of me♪ 1034 00:54:51,091 --> 00:54:53,626 Sam! Ricky Gervais is on his way in. 1035 00:54:53,660 --> 00:54:56,529 And, apparently, he won't drink Evian, only Icelandic water. 1036 00:54:56,563 --> 00:54:58,832 And it's got to have lots of alkalines. 1037 00:54:59,766 --> 00:55:01,001 Or no alkalines. 1038 00:55:01,768 --> 00:55:02,936 Um... 1039 00:55:03,903 --> 00:55:05,672 Did you have sex last night? 1040 00:55:05,705 --> 00:55:07,640 What? No! 1041 00:55:07,674 --> 00:55:09,509 ♪ La, la, la, la♪ 1042 00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:11,077 God! 1043 00:55:11,111 --> 00:55:13,513 Tape measure, please. Quick. 1044 00:55:13,546 --> 00:55:18,718 The cushion can't be more than 40 centimetres from the floor for Ricky. 1045 00:55:18,752 --> 00:55:20,420 Did you have sex last night? 1046 00:55:23,423 --> 00:55:26,960 Yes. I did. Okay? I did. 1047 00:55:26,993 --> 00:55:31,898 I had a full night of utterly mind-blowing sex 1048 00:55:31,931 --> 00:55:36,770 with a tree-rescuing rubbish expert Adonis who might be slightly younger, probably. 1049 00:55:36,803 --> 00:55:40,707 And it was amazing! 1050 00:55:40,740 --> 00:55:42,409 Okay? 1051 00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:44,144 So what? 1052 00:55:52,619 --> 00:55:55,822 ♪ Lost in romance♪ 1053 00:55:55,855 --> 00:55:58,458 ♪ Let's just dance, ooh♪ 1054 00:55:58,491 --> 00:56:00,593 ♪ Shake it till the pearls Get lost♪ 1055 00:56:00,627 --> 00:56:02,595 ♪ La, la, la, la♪ 1056 00:56:02,629 --> 00:56:04,731 Am not only mother and sexual being, 1057 00:56:04,764 --> 00:56:07,967 but also capable working woman at the top of her game. 1058 00:56:08,001 --> 00:56:10,003 So take that, Chloe. 1059 00:56:10,036 --> 00:56:13,473 I've done the macaroni and cheese, but with butternut squash instead. 1060 00:56:13,506 --> 00:56:15,975 It's in the bottom oven. Just needs to move to the top in about 20 minutes. 1061 00:56:16,009 --> 00:56:18,144 Good. Good. Right. 1062 00:56:18,178 --> 00:56:20,580 It's just how I would do it. 1063 00:56:20,613 --> 00:56:22,048 Um... Oh, Chloe, 1064 00:56:22,082 --> 00:56:24,217 uh, it would be really helpful 1065 00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,619 to have their water bottles done the night before. 1066 00:56:26,653 --> 00:56:28,154 In the fridge. Top right. 1067 00:56:28,188 --> 00:56:29,756 Where the expired milk was. 1068 00:56:29,789 --> 00:56:33,493 Oh, great. Great. Um... 1069 00:56:33,526 --> 00:56:36,763 Billy will need something extra for snack tomorrow. 1070 00:56:36,796 --> 00:56:38,631 - He's got... - Cricket, yeah. 1071 00:56:38,665 --> 00:56:40,767 In a snack bag. Labelled. By the bread bin. 1072 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,536 - We have a bread bin? - I have to leave, I'm afraid. 1073 00:56:43,570 --> 00:56:45,538 Graham and I have tai chi on Thursdays. 1074 00:56:45,572 --> 00:56:48,008 6:45 sharp, but earlier to get the spot you want. 1075 00:56:48,041 --> 00:56:50,043 Oh. 'Course. 1076 00:56:50,076 --> 00:56:52,645 You and Graham enjoy your tai chi. 1077 00:56:52,679 --> 00:56:55,181 Oh, you forgot to leave out Billy's cricket things, 1078 00:56:55,215 --> 00:56:56,683 but never mind. I'll do it. 1079 00:56:56,716 --> 00:56:58,118 Bag packed by the door. 1080 00:57:02,889 --> 00:57:04,224 Nevertheless, 1081 00:57:04,257 --> 00:57:07,660 secret to calmer, happier parenting: 1082 00:57:07,694 --> 00:57:09,662 one-night stands. 1083 00:57:11,097 --> 00:57:14,534 Although, it wasn't just one night. 1084 00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:17,570 Brought a pie. 1085 00:57:18,638 --> 00:57:19,939 Hmm. 1086 00:57:26,012 --> 00:57:27,747 That was funny. 1087 00:57:27,781 --> 00:57:30,550 And so, a moment turned into a date, 1088 00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:33,486 which turned into a kiss. 1089 00:57:35,121 --> 00:57:37,223 Which turned into a night. 1090 00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:40,560 ♪ Ooh♪ 1091 00:57:41,795 --> 00:57:46,666 ♪ What a wonderful thing...♪ 1092 00:57:46,700 --> 00:57:50,103 And the night turned into a summer. 1093 00:57:52,005 --> 00:57:55,208 ♪ I can see You standing there now♪ 1094 00:57:56,943 --> 00:57:58,978 ♪ And you're The prettiest thing♪ 1095 00:57:59,012 --> 00:58:01,047 ♪ In the crowd♪ 1096 00:58:02,682 --> 00:58:09,222 ♪ And guess who Be laughing loud, but me♪ 1097 00:58:10,790 --> 00:58:15,028 ♪ You made me see the love♪ 1098 00:58:16,062 --> 00:58:19,866 ♪ That you're giving me♪ 1099 00:58:19,899 --> 00:58:21,801 ♪ Baby...♪ 1100 00:58:23,036 --> 00:58:25,305 ♪ Won't you hold my hand?♪ 1101 00:58:26,439 --> 00:58:31,077 ♪ Just let me know that I'm your man♪ 1102 00:58:31,111 --> 00:58:34,948 ♪ And show I'm not ashamed♪ 1103 00:58:34,981 --> 00:58:37,717 ♪ I walk the floor♪ 1104 00:58:37,751 --> 00:58:41,888 ♪ When you leave me♪ 1105 00:58:43,189 --> 00:58:45,325 ♪ Hey, baby♪ 1106 00:58:46,793 --> 00:58:49,329 ♪ I don't know about you♪ 1107 00:58:51,264 --> 00:58:55,201 ♪ Let me tell you what I'm gonna do♪ 1108 00:58:56,403 --> 00:59:01,741 ♪ I'm gonna try to make My dreams come true♪ 1109 00:59:01,775 --> 00:59:04,244 ♪ With you♪ 1110 00:59:04,277 --> 00:59:05,912 Morning. Welcome back. 1111 00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:08,081 - Good morning, Mr Walliker. - Morning. 1112 00:59:08,114 --> 00:59:09,916 - Morning. - Mrs Darcy. 1113 00:59:09,949 --> 00:59:10,984 How were your summer holidays? 1114 00:59:11,017 --> 00:59:12,152 I have a new daddy now. 1115 00:59:12,185 --> 00:59:13,319 His name is Roxster, 1116 00:59:13,353 --> 00:59:15,021 and he always gives Mummy 1117 00:59:15,055 --> 00:59:16,690 a funny hairstyle in the morning. 1118 00:59:16,723 --> 00:59:18,825 Yes, well. It's not that funny, is it, Mabel? 1119 00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:20,326 It is. 1120 00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:23,263 He's not a new daddy. He's just someone. 1121 00:59:25,231 --> 00:59:26,266 Off you go. 1122 00:59:28,101 --> 00:59:29,869 Well, it seems congratulations are in order. 1123 00:59:31,771 --> 00:59:33,206 You! 1124 00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:35,375 - No. You two. Come on. - Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye. 1125 00:59:35,408 --> 00:59:37,077 Bisous, bisous, bisous. 1126 00:59:37,110 --> 00:59:39,846 Bridget, I emailed you from Anguilla about, um... 1127 00:59:39,879 --> 00:59:42,849 Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared. 1128 00:59:42,882 --> 00:59:47,287 I must say, it's a welcome change, all... this. 1129 00:59:48,221 --> 00:59:49,656 Thank you. 1130 00:59:53,259 --> 00:59:55,228 All right, everyone. Settle down. 1131 00:59:55,261 --> 00:59:57,097 Settle down. Thank you. 1132 00:59:57,130 --> 00:59:58,832 Um, so... 1133 00:59:58,865 --> 01:00:02,168 Last term, Daveed's dad was kind enough to talk to us 1134 01:00:02,202 --> 01:00:04,037 about being a thoracic surgeon, 1135 01:00:04,070 --> 01:00:06,339 and next week, Eugenie's mum will be in 1136 01:00:06,373 --> 01:00:09,209 to talk about her role as a nuclear physicist, 1137 01:00:09,242 --> 01:00:11,444 and how it felt to win the Nobel Prize. 1138 01:00:11,478 --> 01:00:14,814 But today, it's Billy's mum. 1139 01:00:14,848 --> 01:00:17,917 So, everyone, give a warm welcome to Mrs Darcy. 1140 01:00:22,822 --> 01:00:23,790 Hello. 1141 01:00:26,826 --> 01:00:28,161 Um. 1142 01:00:28,194 --> 01:00:31,765 I am a television producer. 1143 01:00:31,798 --> 01:00:35,869 My mum says television is making society rot. 1144 01:00:35,902 --> 01:00:37,437 Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla. 1145 01:00:37,470 --> 01:00:40,807 OK. May we have a volunteer? 1146 01:00:41,841 --> 01:00:43,710 Thank you, Esmeralda. 1147 01:00:51,484 --> 01:00:52,752 Right. 1148 01:00:52,786 --> 01:00:55,955 You can stand here. 1149 01:00:55,989 --> 01:00:57,190 Very good. 1150 01:00:57,223 --> 01:01:00,026 And you are going to say things like, 1151 01:01:00,060 --> 01:01:02,295 "Ten seconds to air!" 1152 01:01:02,328 --> 01:01:06,466 And I am going to be the interviewer for the day. 1153 01:01:07,834 --> 01:01:08,968 Now... 1154 01:01:12,872 --> 01:01:13,840 Just... 1155 01:01:15,342 --> 01:01:18,745 Right. OK. 1156 01:01:18,778 --> 01:01:23,416 Perhaps Mr Walliker could be the person being interviewed. 1157 01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:25,952 Take a seat. 1158 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,922 Uh, righto. 1159 01:01:28,955 --> 01:01:30,824 Now, topic. 1160 01:01:32,959 --> 01:01:36,262 The life cycle of the fruit fly. Hmm? 1161 01:01:36,296 --> 01:01:37,497 Right, OK. 1162 01:01:39,499 --> 01:01:42,736 Ooh. Ten seconds to air! 1163 01:01:44,104 --> 01:01:45,939 Hello, this is Bridget Jones, 1164 01:01:45,972 --> 01:01:49,776 and I'm delighted to have Mr Walliker on the show today 1165 01:01:49,809 --> 01:01:53,880 to help us understand the life cycle of the fruit fly. 1166 01:01:53,913 --> 01:01:55,448 Um, well, it's a... 1167 01:01:55,482 --> 01:01:57,217 it's a pleasure to be on the show. 1168 01:01:57,250 --> 01:01:59,986 And, um, thank you for that question. 1169 01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:01,287 Um... 1170 01:02:01,321 --> 01:02:03,223 Well, the, uh, the average... 1171 01:02:04,958 --> 01:02:06,092 Thank you. 1172 01:02:06,126 --> 01:02:08,061 Uh, the average fly takes about 1173 01:02:08,094 --> 01:02:09,362 two weeks to mature 1174 01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:13,099 and can live for as long as 40 or 50 days. 1175 01:02:13,133 --> 01:02:16,836 And then, like all living things, when it dies, it simply stops. 1176 01:02:16,870 --> 01:02:18,004 Cellular shutdown. 1177 01:02:18,038 --> 01:02:20,173 It falls, gradually decomposes, 1178 01:02:20,206 --> 01:02:22,208 and becomes part of the soil system. 1179 01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:24,277 But does it really end when it dies? 1180 01:02:26,212 --> 01:02:28,314 Exactly, Mr Walliker. 1181 01:02:28,348 --> 01:02:31,051 Surely there's more to the story. 1182 01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:36,456 Um, well. Well, not really. 1183 01:02:37,323 --> 01:02:39,492 But, yes. 1184 01:02:39,526 --> 01:02:44,364 After the body of the fruit fly stops working, 1185 01:02:44,397 --> 01:02:47,267 uh, then the soul of the fruit fly 1186 01:02:47,300 --> 01:02:50,236 will be able to be free, yes? 1187 01:02:50,270 --> 01:02:52,405 And that particular fruit fly 1188 01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:56,376 will always, in some senses, be with us. 1189 01:03:00,180 --> 01:03:03,149 - The soul of the fruit fly? - Hmm. 1190 01:03:03,183 --> 01:03:04,617 There's no evidence for a soul, 1191 01:03:04,651 --> 01:03:08,955 but the body is a perfect system of electrical pulses, 1192 01:03:08,988 --> 01:03:11,524 powered by the heart, which is in itself 1193 01:03:11,558 --> 01:03:14,494 - a pump, if you will... - The soul, Mr Walliker, 1194 01:03:14,527 --> 01:03:17,464 is the essence of every living thing. 1195 01:03:17,497 --> 01:03:19,899 If you think we're simply bits of machinery 1196 01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:21,468 that can be switched on or off, 1197 01:03:21,501 --> 01:03:23,336 then where does art come from? 1198 01:03:23,370 --> 01:03:26,139 Or-Or wonder? Or poetry? 1199 01:03:26,172 --> 01:03:27,540 - Or magic? - Magic? 1200 01:03:27,574 --> 01:03:29,342 The fruit fly, when it dies, 1201 01:03:29,376 --> 01:03:32,278 will stay with its fruit fly family forever. 1202 01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:34,981 Keep the interview on point, Bridget. 1203 01:03:35,015 --> 01:03:36,649 This is utter nonsense. 1204 01:03:36,683 --> 01:03:40,487 Our world is governed by laws and fact. 1205 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,288 That's our universe. 1206 01:03:42,322 --> 01:03:44,190 - And it is rational. - Cut! 1207 01:03:44,224 --> 01:03:46,192 I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy. 1208 01:03:46,226 --> 01:03:48,128 I believe in what's real. 1209 01:03:48,161 --> 01:03:49,396 Cut! 1210 01:03:50,563 --> 01:03:52,932 Off to Talitha's birthday. 1211 01:03:52,966 --> 01:03:55,468 Are you sure you're OK to stay tonight? 1212 01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:58,471 It's Thursday. I thought you and Graham had tai chi. 1213 01:03:58,505 --> 01:04:01,141 Won't kill him to miss a week, will it? 1214 01:04:01,174 --> 01:04:02,942 He's so uptight. 1215 01:04:04,577 --> 01:04:06,946 Oh, you look nice, Bridget. 1216 01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:08,481 Oh! 1217 01:04:08,515 --> 01:04:10,650 Ooh. 1218 01:04:11,985 --> 01:04:12,919 Oh, try this. 1219 01:04:19,959 --> 01:04:21,227 There. 1220 01:04:21,261 --> 01:04:22,595 Thanks, Chloe. 1221 01:04:25,331 --> 01:04:28,068 Billy! Mabes! Snacks on the table. 1222 01:04:32,272 --> 01:04:35,508 So where is he? Is he not coming? 1223 01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:38,244 Oh, it's fine. He must have been held up. 1224 01:04:38,278 --> 01:04:40,980 - What? By some sort of rubbish emergency? - Oh. 1225 01:04:41,014 --> 01:04:43,016 - Probably had to finish his homework. - Stop it. 1226 01:04:43,049 --> 01:04:44,517 Hope he gets here before story time. 1227 01:04:44,551 --> 01:04:46,386 Shut it! 1228 01:04:46,419 --> 01:04:48,288 Come the fuck on, Bridge. 1229 01:04:48,321 --> 01:04:49,723 Does this guy actually exist 1230 01:04:49,756 --> 01:04:52,325 or is it, um, like that one time 1231 01:04:52,359 --> 01:04:53,960 that you saw Brad Pitt at Costa Coffee? 1232 01:04:53,993 --> 01:04:56,529 - It was him. It was. - Come on. Really? 1233 01:04:56,563 --> 01:04:58,264 - Happy birthday. - Lovely to see you. 1234 01:04:58,298 --> 01:05:00,300 What on earth are you holding? 1235 01:05:00,333 --> 01:05:02,135 Oh, Petula. 1236 01:05:02,168 --> 01:05:03,403 A present to myself 1237 01:05:03,436 --> 01:05:05,972 and I already prefer her to any human. 1238 01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:07,340 Oh, hi. 1239 01:05:07,374 --> 01:05:08,575 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1240 01:05:08,608 --> 01:05:10,643 Oh, here. Can you hold my baby 1241 01:05:10,677 --> 01:05:12,445 while I feign surprise at the cake 1242 01:05:12,479 --> 01:05:15,248 that I chose and bought for myself. 1243 01:05:15,281 --> 01:05:17,217 Oh, look! Look at that! 1244 01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:19,452 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Talitha♪ 1245 01:05:19,486 --> 01:05:21,388 Thank you. Oh, look. 1246 01:05:21,421 --> 01:05:26,426 ♪ Happy birthday to you♪ 1247 01:05:31,164 --> 01:05:32,432 Thank you. 1248 01:05:32,465 --> 01:05:36,503 Thank you all so much for coming today 1249 01:05:36,536 --> 01:05:40,140 to help me celebrate, well, me. 1250 01:05:41,408 --> 01:05:42,776 We love you, Talitha. 1251 01:05:42,809 --> 01:05:44,978 - Talitha! - Talitha! Happy birthday. 1252 01:05:46,479 --> 01:05:48,314 Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 1253 01:05:48,348 --> 01:05:50,450 Binko Carruthers. 1254 01:05:50,483 --> 01:05:52,419 Oh, please don't come over. Please don't. 1255 01:05:52,452 --> 01:05:53,753 Beep, beep. 1256 01:05:53,787 --> 01:05:57,524 There she is. The famous Bridget Jones. 1257 01:05:57,557 --> 01:06:00,593 So I told Cosmo I'd take you out for a spin. 1258 01:06:00,627 --> 01:06:01,594 How's Friday? 1259 01:06:03,563 --> 01:06:06,099 Fuck, no! 1260 01:06:06,132 --> 01:06:09,235 Jude, get in there. Come on, get the fuck in there! God, help! 1261 01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:11,204 Oh, my God. Oh! 1262 01:06:11,237 --> 01:06:13,540 - Petula, come on, darling. - Petula! Petula! 1263 01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:16,776 ♪ I'm mad about the boy♪ 1264 01:06:19,679 --> 01:06:21,715 ♪ And I know it's stupid♪ 1265 01:06:21,748 --> 01:06:24,617 ♪ To be mad about the boy♪ 1266 01:06:24,651 --> 01:06:26,419 Who's that? 1267 01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:28,621 ♪ I'm so ashamed of it♪ 1268 01:06:28,655 --> 01:06:33,626 ♪ But must admit The sleepless nights I've had♪ 1269 01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:36,796 ♪ About the boy♪ 1270 01:06:40,266 --> 01:06:42,402 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪ 1271 01:06:42,435 --> 01:06:44,104 ♪ On the silver screen...♪ 1272 01:06:47,140 --> 01:06:51,311 ♪ He melts my foolish heart In every single scene ♪ 1273 01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:56,483 ♪ Although I'm quite aware...♪ 1274 01:06:56,516 --> 01:06:58,485 ♪ That here and there Are traces...♪ 1275 01:06:58,518 --> 01:07:00,553 - I think this belongs to you. - Thank you. 1276 01:07:01,488 --> 01:07:06,159 ♪ About the boy♪ 1277 01:07:08,862 --> 01:07:14,634 ♪ Lord knows I'm not a fool girl♪ 1278 01:07:16,503 --> 01:07:17,804 - Hello. - Hi. 1279 01:07:17,837 --> 01:07:19,773 ♪ I really shouldn't care♪ 1280 01:07:23,610 --> 01:07:27,614 ♪ Lord knows I'm not a school girl♪ 1281 01:07:28,848 --> 01:07:31,551 ♪ Who's in the flurry...♪ 1282 01:07:31,584 --> 01:07:33,353 Sorry I'm late. Buses were a nightmare. 1283 01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:34,587 It's fine. 1284 01:07:36,723 --> 01:07:38,358 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1285 01:07:38,391 --> 01:07:40,593 She just jumped out of my arms. 1286 01:07:40,627 --> 01:07:43,329 Do not apologise. 1287 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:45,165 Oh, my darling. 1288 01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:46,833 Let me help you out of those wet clothes. 1289 01:07:46,866 --> 01:07:48,902 No. Don't you dare redress him. 1290 01:07:48,935 --> 01:07:51,604 - You look gorgeous. - You look gorgeous. 1291 01:07:51,638 --> 01:07:55,108 ♪ All because I'm mad♪ 1292 01:07:56,209 --> 01:08:01,614 ♪ About the boy♪ 1293 01:08:01,648 --> 01:08:05,885 Now that, my darling, is what I call a rebrand. 1294 01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:09,756 Hi. I'm Roxster. 1295 01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:31,578 ♪ We've come a long Long way together♪ 1296 01:08:31,611 --> 01:08:33,680 I hope he's up to it, darling. 1297 01:08:33,713 --> 01:08:36,182 ♪ Through the hard times And the good♪ 1298 01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:40,620 ♪ I have to celebrate you Baby♪ 1299 01:08:40,653 --> 01:08:44,891 ♪ I have to praise you like I should♪ 1300 01:08:44,924 --> 01:08:47,160 ♪ I have to praise you♪ 1301 01:08:49,596 --> 01:08:51,331 ♪ I have to praise you♪ 1302 01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,735 ♪ I have to praise you♪ 1303 01:08:55,769 --> 01:08:58,238 - Hello. - Oh, fuck off. 1304 01:08:58,271 --> 01:09:02,475 ♪ I have to praise you like I should♪ 1305 01:09:02,509 --> 01:09:04,344 ♪ I have to praise you♪ 1306 01:09:11,418 --> 01:09:13,286 ♪ I have to praise you♪ 1307 01:09:18,391 --> 01:09:23,730 ♪ I want a little sugar In my bowl♪ 1308 01:09:23,763 --> 01:09:25,398 If there is a God, 1309 01:09:25,432 --> 01:09:27,801 I'm sure he had more to deal with that night 1310 01:09:27,834 --> 01:09:29,969 than my personal happiness, 1311 01:09:30,003 --> 01:09:33,807 but it did feel like he'd taken the night off everything else 1312 01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,709 to focus on me. 1313 01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,913 But then... 1314 01:09:39,946 --> 01:09:41,815 I wish I had a time machine. 1315 01:09:41,848 --> 01:09:43,717 ♪ Feel so funny♪ 1316 01:09:43,750 --> 01:09:48,755 ♪ I feel so sad♪ 1317 01:09:48,788 --> 01:09:49,956 ♪ What's the matter, baby?♪ 1318 01:09:49,989 --> 01:09:51,624 A time machine. 1319 01:09:51,658 --> 01:09:54,027 ♪ Come on, save my soul♪ 1320 01:09:54,060 --> 01:09:56,496 In his moment of inebriated joy, 1321 01:09:56,529 --> 01:09:58,798 he had given himself away. 1322 01:10:02,635 --> 01:10:04,504 ♪ In my bowl♪ 1323 01:10:04,537 --> 01:10:06,373 It mattered to him. 1324 01:10:06,406 --> 01:10:11,444 And with that came the elephant stomping heavily into the room. 1325 01:10:27,827 --> 01:10:30,030 ♪ I try to discover...♪ 1326 01:10:30,063 --> 01:10:31,898 That happens to us all, James. 1327 01:10:35,769 --> 01:10:38,004 Oh, I do have about 60 naps a day. 1328 01:10:39,973 --> 01:10:43,576 Well, 60 in the morning and a nap in the afternoon. 1329 01:10:43,610 --> 01:10:47,580 Yeah, but you've got so many interesting characters in this show. 1330 01:10:47,614 --> 01:10:49,616 So this show is for... 1331 01:10:49,649 --> 01:10:50,984 Ghosting. 1332 01:10:51,017 --> 01:10:52,852 The practice of ending a relationship 1333 01:10:52,886 --> 01:10:54,754 by suddenly and without explanation 1334 01:10:54,788 --> 01:10:57,057 withdrawing from all communication. 1335 01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:02,062 ♪ That you give me No reason why you...♪ 1336 01:11:02,095 --> 01:11:05,932 The slow unveiling of reality and rejection. 1337 01:11:05,965 --> 01:11:08,034 ♪ That you give me no That you give me no♪ 1338 01:11:08,068 --> 01:11:10,837 ♪ That you give me no That you give me no...♪ 1339 01:11:10,870 --> 01:11:12,539 The casual cruelty. 1340 01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,911 ♪ I hear you calling♪ 1341 01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:23,016 ♪ Oh, baby, please...♪ 1342 01:11:25,085 --> 01:11:29,389 ♪ Give a little respect♪ 1343 01:11:29,422 --> 01:11:35,795 ♪ To me♪ 1344 01:11:35,829 --> 01:11:38,465 ♪ What religion or reason♪ 1345 01:11:38,498 --> 01:11:42,569 ♪ Could cause a man To forsake his lover?♪ 1346 01:11:42,602 --> 01:11:44,070 ♪ Don't you tell me no...♪ 1347 01:11:44,104 --> 01:11:46,139 Do not text when ghosted. 1348 01:11:46,172 --> 01:11:49,843 ♪ Don't you tell me no Soul...♪ 1349 01:11:49,876 --> 01:11:52,078 Do not text when drunk. 1350 01:11:52,112 --> 01:11:55,115 ♪ I hear you calling♪ 1351 01:11:56,116 --> 01:12:01,421 ♪ Oh, baby, please♪ 1352 01:12:02,589 --> 01:12:06,426 ♪ Give a little respect♪ 1353 01:12:06,459 --> 01:12:10,964 ♪ To me♪ 1354 01:12:20,740 --> 01:12:22,175 Ghost the bastard back, Bridget. 1355 01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:25,011 Just let him disintegrate into nothingness. 1356 01:12:25,045 --> 01:12:26,913 It can be a jungle out there. 1357 01:12:26,946 --> 01:12:29,482 Yep. And I'm the giant panda, 1358 01:12:29,516 --> 01:12:32,852 sexually obsolete and destined to be alone forever. 1359 01:12:32,886 --> 01:12:36,122 No. You will adapt and survive like we all do. 1360 01:12:36,156 --> 01:12:39,526 I used to be on the cover of Vanity Fairin a flak jacket. 1361 01:12:39,559 --> 01:12:42,629 And now I'm on the cover of Good Housekeepingwith a pavlova. 1362 01:12:42,662 --> 01:12:43,697 Cathy... 1363 01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,566 where's your special stuff? 1364 01:12:47,901 --> 01:12:50,470 HD TV was an extinction-level event 1365 01:12:50,503 --> 01:12:53,673 for the fearless career television presenter. 1366 01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:57,477 I'm about to usher you into your next chapter. 1367 01:12:57,510 --> 01:13:00,847 Lip serum. I get it on the dark web. 1368 01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:03,216 - Is it legal? - Absolutely. 1369 01:13:03,249 --> 01:13:04,517 In Venezuela. 1370 01:13:05,051 --> 01:13:06,186 Here, take it. 1371 01:13:09,656 --> 01:13:13,159 Adapt and survive. 1372 01:13:14,994 --> 01:13:17,530 Adapt and survive. 1373 01:13:19,232 --> 01:13:21,968 Ooh. Something's definitely happening. 1374 01:13:22,002 --> 01:13:25,772 It's either disastrous or totally fantastic. 1375 01:13:25,805 --> 01:13:27,107 Mummy! 1376 01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,510 Hi, sweetie. 1377 01:13:30,543 --> 01:13:32,178 Shit. What's happening to my voice? 1378 01:13:32,212 --> 01:13:33,847 Mabel's shoes are on the wrong feet. 1379 01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:35,749 No. My feet are on the wrong legs. 1380 01:13:37,550 --> 01:13:39,219 Silly thing. 1381 01:13:39,252 --> 01:13:42,222 Mummy, something's wrong with your mouth. 1382 01:13:43,156 --> 01:13:44,090 No. 1383 01:13:44,124 --> 01:13:45,692 No, there isn't. 1384 01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:47,527 Yes, there is. Look. 1385 01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:49,562 Your lips are all funny right there. 1386 01:13:49,596 --> 01:13:51,865 Darling, don't be ridiculous. 1387 01:13:51,898 --> 01:13:55,502 All right, Mabel, let's get these swapped over, shall we? 1388 01:13:56,603 --> 01:13:58,171 Out we pop. All right. 1389 01:13:58,204 --> 01:14:01,875 I wouldn't do that again if I were you, Mrs Darcy. 1390 01:14:01,908 --> 01:14:03,176 You looked all right to begin with. 1391 01:14:04,811 --> 01:14:06,146 All right. 1392 01:14:06,179 --> 01:14:08,882 You're trying to look younger 1393 01:14:08,915 --> 01:14:14,220 and the effects have marked similarities to those of an elderly stroke victim. 1394 01:14:16,156 --> 01:14:18,992 You're actually drooling now. 1395 01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,129 Oh, dear. 1396 01:14:23,163 --> 01:14:26,066 Now, acutely aware as I am of my waiting room 1397 01:14:26,099 --> 01:14:29,102 filled to capacity with actual patients... 1398 01:14:29,135 --> 01:14:31,271 not to mention the fact that I am a gynaecologist 1399 01:14:31,304 --> 01:14:33,606 and that particular set of lips is, 1400 01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,609 as it were, broadly speaking, at the wrong end... 1401 01:14:36,643 --> 01:14:39,612 I am nonetheless going to ask you the question, 1402 01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,248 "Bridget, are you OK?" 1403 01:14:42,282 --> 01:14:45,085 A simple yes will suffice. 1404 01:14:46,319 --> 01:14:47,721 No. 1405 01:14:49,622 --> 01:14:51,291 It's all your fault. 1406 01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:35,902 "Twat." Sorry, it's doctor's handwriting. 1407 01:15:35,935 --> 01:15:37,671 That's an A, in the middle there. 1408 01:15:37,704 --> 01:15:42,308 Now, I rather zoned out after "pyjamas", 1409 01:15:42,342 --> 01:15:45,311 but a toy boy is not the answer, Bridget, and nor are big lips. 1410 01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,014 You're a widow 1411 01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,150 with two wonderful children who adore you. 1412 01:15:50,183 --> 01:15:52,052 You're just trying to cope with a shitty situation. 1413 01:15:52,085 --> 01:15:53,720 Embrace the chaos. 1414 01:15:55,221 --> 01:15:57,390 That's just a simple allergic reaction to 1415 01:15:57,424 --> 01:16:00,927 hydroxymethoxyphenyl propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran 1416 01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:04,698 in whatever infernal concoction you've smeared on your mouth. 1417 01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,734 This is an antihistamine. 1418 01:16:07,767 --> 01:16:09,202 It'll work straight away. 1419 01:16:10,103 --> 01:16:12,305 It's for the lips. 1420 01:16:12,339 --> 01:16:15,375 They still haven't invented anything for being a twat. 1421 01:16:28,388 --> 01:16:29,989 Hello. 1422 01:16:30,023 --> 01:16:31,658 Yes, this is Bridget. 1423 01:16:33,059 --> 01:16:35,362 Of course! Straight away. 1424 01:16:37,964 --> 01:16:39,132 Yes, yes. 1425 01:16:44,938 --> 01:16:45,939 Daniel. 1426 01:16:47,007 --> 01:16:49,442 Well, by all that's holy, 1427 01:16:49,476 --> 01:16:51,311 Bridget Jones. 1428 01:16:56,182 --> 01:16:58,184 Nice of you to come, Jones. 1429 01:16:58,218 --> 01:17:00,387 If I'd known, I'd have worn a tinier nightie. 1430 01:17:01,855 --> 01:17:02,822 What happened? 1431 01:17:03,423 --> 01:17:05,091 My heart. 1432 01:17:05,125 --> 01:17:06,459 Two massive surprises. 1433 01:17:06,493 --> 01:17:09,129 One, I have one. Two, it murmurs. 1434 01:17:09,162 --> 01:17:11,865 They've, um, had a listen and I don't know. 1435 01:17:12,766 --> 01:17:14,134 Are you OK? 1436 01:17:14,167 --> 01:17:16,002 Well, I thought I was having a heart attack. 1437 01:17:16,036 --> 01:17:18,438 My whole life passed before my eyes. 1438 01:17:18,471 --> 01:17:20,140 You actually featured prominently, Jones. 1439 01:17:20,173 --> 01:17:21,808 - Hmm. - All the best bits. 1440 01:17:21,841 --> 01:17:23,343 Rome. Mini-break weekend. 1441 01:17:24,210 --> 01:17:26,413 Sodomy in Sainsbury's. 1442 01:17:28,081 --> 01:17:30,283 But, uh, mainly, 1443 01:17:30,316 --> 01:17:32,218 it was just me wandering up and down the King's Road 1444 01:17:32,252 --> 01:17:33,953 trying to twinkle at 20-year-olds. 1445 01:17:33,987 --> 01:17:35,488 Mmm. 1446 01:17:35,522 --> 01:17:40,293 Perhaps it's an opportunity for a new beginning. 1447 01:17:40,326 --> 01:17:42,195 Brand-new Daniel. 1448 01:17:42,862 --> 01:17:43,830 Mmm. 1449 01:17:45,165 --> 01:17:47,801 I think I shall stay right here... 1450 01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,904 until you agree. 1451 01:17:50,937 --> 01:17:52,939 Well that is kind of you, Bridge, but, um... 1452 01:17:54,074 --> 01:17:55,375 they told me I don't have long. 1453 01:17:55,408 --> 01:17:58,111 - What? - No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that. 1454 01:17:58,144 --> 01:18:00,380 Well, maybe that. No, they, uh... 1455 01:18:00,413 --> 01:18:02,916 they're taking me for some tests in a minute. 1456 01:18:06,820 --> 01:18:10,390 The question is, would we say I've become a fraction tragic? 1457 01:18:10,423 --> 01:18:14,494 They asked me to put down my next of kin. 1458 01:18:14,527 --> 01:18:19,265 And the only person I could think of who might remotely care was you. 1459 01:18:21,201 --> 01:18:23,503 - That's very sweet. - Yeah, but not deliberately. 1460 01:18:23,536 --> 01:18:25,472 The point is, Bridge, how have I arrived 1461 01:18:25,505 --> 01:18:28,074 at this point in my life with no kin? 1462 01:18:28,108 --> 01:18:31,244 How could I possibly be kinless? 1463 01:18:31,277 --> 01:18:34,414 But you're not. You're not kinless. 1464 01:18:34,447 --> 01:18:37,851 Well, I haven't seen Enzo since he was two. 1465 01:18:37,884 --> 01:18:40,487 And he is now being happily raised by his mother 1466 01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,024 and an Italian aristocrat who wears his jumper like a shawl. 1467 01:18:47,027 --> 01:18:48,461 So, lucky you, Jones. 1468 01:18:49,863 --> 01:18:51,898 Your two, the way they look at you... 1469 01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,436 just makes one realise... 1470 01:18:59,172 --> 01:19:00,907 one's own fuck-ups, really. 1471 01:19:02,475 --> 01:19:04,310 The glory of what might have been. 1472 01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:10,950 Did you know... 1473 01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,587 it was actually quite good 1474 01:19:14,621 --> 01:19:17,090 with Gisele at the beginning? 1475 01:19:17,123 --> 01:19:18,858 I have to face the fact... 1476 01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:24,097 that it may have been, Jones, love. 1477 01:19:25,031 --> 01:19:26,900 The real thing. 1478 01:19:26,933 --> 01:19:29,135 I still don't know what she was so pissed off about. 1479 01:19:29,169 --> 01:19:30,403 You shagged her sister. 1480 01:19:30,437 --> 01:19:33,106 Once. Massive overreaction. 1481 01:19:35,075 --> 01:19:38,211 God, I love you, Daniel. 1482 01:19:38,244 --> 01:19:42,415 Despite your really quite impressive 1483 01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:46,019 lifelong dedication to total fuckwittage. 1484 01:19:46,052 --> 01:19:47,887 Yeah. 1485 01:19:49,055 --> 01:19:51,057 There's a lot I don't know. 1486 01:19:52,025 --> 01:19:52,959 An awful lot. 1487 01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:58,398 But I do know that my children would give anything at all 1488 01:19:58,431 --> 01:20:01,134 to have just one day with their dad. 1489 01:20:10,010 --> 01:20:13,113 Time for your obs, Mr Cleaver. 1490 01:20:13,146 --> 01:20:14,514 Oh, right. 1491 01:20:14,547 --> 01:20:16,583 And, again, there is really no need 1492 01:20:16,616 --> 01:20:19,185 for you to remove your gown. 1493 01:20:19,219 --> 01:20:20,320 Sorry. 1494 01:20:20,353 --> 01:20:21,888 Okey-doke. 1495 01:20:21,921 --> 01:20:23,256 God. 1496 01:20:23,289 --> 01:20:26,459 Then lights down on the cooking segment. 1497 01:20:26,493 --> 01:20:29,062 Why do I always have to do the cooking bits? 1498 01:20:29,095 --> 01:20:31,498 That chestnut ravioli he cooked last time 1499 01:20:31,531 --> 01:20:33,266 was the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. 1500 01:20:33,299 --> 01:20:34,901 I highly doubt that. 1501 01:20:34,934 --> 01:20:38,038 And then, Miranda, you cross to the stage. 1502 01:20:38,071 --> 01:20:42,375 "And now, on Better Women, a surprise guest." Blah blah. 1503 01:20:42,409 --> 01:20:44,210 And lights! 1504 01:20:45,378 --> 01:20:46,646 ♪ Yeah, I'm a fighter♪ 1505 01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,548 ♪ And I made it through♪ 1506 01:20:48,581 --> 01:20:50,283 ♪ Solid gold survivor That's...♪ 1507 01:20:50,316 --> 01:20:52,052 Hold it! 1508 01:20:52,085 --> 01:20:56,022 Linus, we've got to practise following her with the lights. 1509 01:20:56,056 --> 01:20:57,624 So, uh... 1510 01:20:57,657 --> 01:21:00,527 maybe you could dance a bit? Yeah? 1511 01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:03,163 - Uh... - OK. Go, Linus! 1512 01:21:04,664 --> 01:21:06,466 ♪ So give me light♪ 1513 01:21:06,499 --> 01:21:08,435 ♪ You've got to find Your own road...♪ 1514 01:21:08,468 --> 01:21:12,105 Can you hold that, please? See, you've got to, you know, go for it. 1515 01:21:12,138 --> 01:21:13,306 ♪ Help me see...♪ 1516 01:21:13,340 --> 01:21:15,375 'Cause she's going to, you know... 1517 01:21:15,408 --> 01:21:17,410 ♪ And no more light And no more love♪ 1518 01:21:17,444 --> 01:21:19,412 ♪ It's not over...♪ 1519 01:21:19,446 --> 01:21:21,514 ♪ It's not over ♪ 1520 01:21:21,548 --> 01:21:23,483 ♪ I won't save you when I'm weak♪ 1521 01:21:23,516 --> 01:21:25,251 ♪ Only got so much left To give♪ 1522 01:21:25,285 --> 01:21:27,987 ♪ It's not over♪ 1523 01:21:28,021 --> 01:21:29,122 ♪ It's not over♪ 1524 01:21:29,155 --> 01:21:30,523 ♪ Till I'm done...♪ 1525 01:21:33,259 --> 01:21:34,661 ♪ Till I'm done♪ 1526 01:21:36,229 --> 01:21:38,031 - See, Linus? - Hi, B. 1527 01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:41,201 Oh, shit. 1528 01:21:43,136 --> 01:21:44,337 Brought a pie. 1529 01:21:47,073 --> 01:21:49,576 Sorry, they just told me to come in. 1530 01:21:51,778 --> 01:21:54,114 You disappeared, Roxster. 1531 01:21:54,147 --> 01:21:55,048 I know. 1532 01:21:55,715 --> 01:21:56,716 I know. 1533 01:22:00,220 --> 01:22:01,988 I panicked. 1534 01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,059 I got... I got scared, and I ran. 1535 01:22:07,193 --> 01:22:09,029 But I want this. 1536 01:22:10,130 --> 01:22:11,097 You. 1537 01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:16,069 I thought I wasn't ready, but I am. 1538 01:22:17,070 --> 01:22:18,738 I thought I... 1539 01:22:18,772 --> 01:22:21,141 I don't know, wanted somebody my own age, 1540 01:22:21,174 --> 01:22:23,476 but I don't. 1541 01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:29,582 I love you, Bridget. 1542 01:22:33,319 --> 01:22:35,121 I'm ready for all of it. 1543 01:22:35,155 --> 01:22:37,090 For Billy and Mabel. 1544 01:22:38,158 --> 01:22:39,359 And burnt lasagne. 1545 01:22:39,392 --> 01:22:41,594 And slime. 1546 01:22:41,628 --> 01:22:43,763 And all of it. 1547 01:22:46,099 --> 01:22:47,734 I promise you, I am ready. 1548 01:22:50,503 --> 01:22:52,639 I'm not sure that matters. 1549 01:22:55,742 --> 01:22:57,777 What do you mean? I don't... I don't understand. 1550 01:22:57,811 --> 01:23:00,613 You're so lovely, 1551 01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:04,317 and you're going to be 1552 01:23:04,351 --> 01:23:07,554 a brilliant partner and dad. 1553 01:23:07,587 --> 01:23:09,122 And you're going to discover 1554 01:23:09,155 --> 01:23:12,325 all sorts of garbage that will change the world. 1555 01:23:12,359 --> 01:23:14,094 That's not how it works. 1556 01:23:14,127 --> 01:23:15,495 But not with me. 1557 01:23:21,267 --> 01:23:23,236 I wish I had a time machine too. 1558 01:23:25,305 --> 01:23:26,806 So you could catch up. 1559 01:23:30,677 --> 01:23:32,579 Are you... Are you sure? 1560 01:23:34,814 --> 01:23:36,116 I am. 1561 01:23:49,863 --> 01:23:51,531 I'll keep the pie, if that's OK. 1562 01:23:57,570 --> 01:23:58,705 Goodbye, Bridget. 1563 01:24:10,750 --> 01:24:12,686 Parents' evening. 1564 01:24:12,719 --> 01:24:15,855 Is there a worse night for the single parent? 1565 01:24:16,856 --> 01:24:18,591 They call it parents' evening 1566 01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:20,827 as if it's a plural. 1567 01:24:20,860 --> 01:24:24,164 As if it's a given that there's two of us. 1568 01:24:25,665 --> 01:24:28,702 Oh, well. Chin up and onward. 1569 01:24:28,735 --> 01:24:30,303 Mrs Darcy. 1570 01:24:31,771 --> 01:24:33,673 It's good to see you. 1571 01:24:33,707 --> 01:24:35,742 Good to be back in the studio. 1572 01:24:37,177 --> 01:24:40,146 The great fruit fly debate. 1573 01:24:41,314 --> 01:24:42,482 Uh... 1574 01:24:42,515 --> 01:24:43,783 Small secret. 1575 01:24:43,817 --> 01:24:45,652 It was about 50 times more interesting 1576 01:24:45,685 --> 01:24:47,787 than that bloody thoracic surgeon. 1577 01:24:47,821 --> 01:24:49,522 And don't get me started on the physicist. 1578 01:24:49,556 --> 01:24:53,226 I mean, they'll hand out Nobels to anyone these days. 1579 01:24:53,259 --> 01:24:55,395 Oh, yeah. 1580 01:24:55,428 --> 01:24:58,398 So, uh, Billy. 1581 01:24:58,431 --> 01:25:01,267 Well, he's, um... he's an excellent cricketer. 1582 01:25:01,301 --> 01:25:02,469 - Mm-hmm. - You know, 1583 01:25:02,502 --> 01:25:03,937 he's a very good young scientist. 1584 01:25:03,970 --> 01:25:06,239 He's... he's got a good brain. 1585 01:25:06,272 --> 01:25:10,677 He's methodical, his experiments are well drawn up. 1586 01:25:10,710 --> 01:25:12,679 Look, I mean, it's just, uh... 1587 01:25:12,712 --> 01:25:14,781 it's excellent work all round. 1588 01:25:16,383 --> 01:25:19,686 - Good. - It's just this, Mrs Darcy. I'm... 1589 01:25:20,887 --> 01:25:22,489 I'm a... 1590 01:25:22,522 --> 01:25:24,557 I'm a bit concerned about him. 1591 01:25:24,591 --> 01:25:27,727 Concerned? Concerned how? What's he done? 1592 01:25:27,761 --> 01:25:30,463 No, he hasn't done anything. He's, um... 1593 01:25:30,497 --> 01:25:32,165 He's just been a bit, uh... 1594 01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:34,701 withdrawn. 1595 01:25:35,502 --> 01:25:36,770 Why is he withdrawn? 1596 01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:38,838 Everything's been all right at home? 1597 01:25:38,872 --> 01:25:41,741 Yes, yes. It's all fine. 1598 01:25:41,775 --> 01:25:43,810 Everything OK with your, um... 1599 01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,480 hairdresser? 1600 01:25:47,514 --> 01:25:50,550 Him? No, but-but yes. Uh... 1601 01:25:50,583 --> 01:25:52,419 He's withdrawn? 1602 01:25:52,452 --> 01:25:55,488 Well, I don't mean to alarm you. 1603 01:25:55,522 --> 01:25:58,925 - Sorry about that. Yep, exactly. - Mr Walliker, sorry, sorry. 1604 01:25:58,958 --> 01:26:01,628 We're a couple of minutes early, but these sessions are so short. 1605 01:26:01,661 --> 01:26:03,930 And I have more than a few questions for you. 1606 01:26:03,963 --> 01:26:05,565 You don't mind, do you, Bridget? 1607 01:26:05,598 --> 01:26:07,767 We do have the two boys, so... 1608 01:26:07,801 --> 01:26:10,837 Not at all. No. That's... It's fine. 1609 01:26:13,039 --> 01:26:15,675 - Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute. - Thank you. 1610 01:26:15,709 --> 01:26:17,944 - Right. - I've got parents' evening. 1611 01:26:39,566 --> 01:26:41,301 Mark Darcy, the leading 1612 01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:43,970 international humanitarian rights lawyer, 1613 01:26:44,004 --> 01:26:46,973 was killed this morning in the Darfur region in Sudan. 1614 01:26:47,007 --> 01:26:49,509 ...a land mine. The 55-year-old was in 1615 01:26:49,542 --> 01:26:51,778 the war-torn region after joining international efforts... 1616 01:26:51,811 --> 01:26:54,447 Mr Darcy was a leading international figure in human rights 1617 01:26:54,481 --> 01:26:55,815 and crisis resolution... 1618 01:26:55,849 --> 01:26:57,450 gained global recognition 1619 01:26:57,484 --> 01:26:59,786 with the Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney case, 1620 01:26:59,819 --> 01:27:01,354 which, of course, he won. 1621 01:27:01,388 --> 01:27:03,790 He leaves behind his wife, Bridget Jones, 1622 01:27:03,823 --> 01:27:06,626 and their two young children, Billy and Mabel. 1623 01:27:06,659 --> 01:27:10,363 More on this story as we get it. 1624 01:28:06,986 --> 01:28:08,555 Dearest darling Mark, 1625 01:28:10,156 --> 01:28:12,659 it's your birthday on Sunday, and... 1626 01:28:14,461 --> 01:28:17,630 I'm just no good at doing this on my own. 1627 01:28:19,933 --> 01:28:22,002 I'm sorry I'm such a bad mother. 1628 01:28:22,035 --> 01:28:25,672 I'm sorry I got caught up with a callow toy boy. 1629 01:28:25,705 --> 01:28:29,509 I'm sorry I'm late for school and that Billy's withdrawn. 1630 01:28:31,111 --> 01:28:33,113 They're growing up without you. 1631 01:28:34,714 --> 01:28:36,049 How is Billy going to understand 1632 01:28:36,082 --> 01:28:39,419 how to be a man without his father? 1633 01:28:39,452 --> 01:28:41,454 How is Mabel going to live her life 1634 01:28:41,488 --> 01:28:43,490 having never really known you at all? 1635 01:28:44,858 --> 01:28:46,559 Please forgive me for being upset 1636 01:28:46,593 --> 01:28:50,096 about anything which isn't about not having you. 1637 01:28:50,130 --> 01:28:53,033 Please help me find a way to do this 1638 01:28:53,066 --> 01:28:57,470 without feeling like I'm ruining the most important part of my life. 1639 01:28:59,939 --> 01:29:02,475 The only part that still has you in it. 1640 01:29:17,490 --> 01:29:20,760 I have to put down how many tickets we need for my Christmas concert. 1641 01:29:20,794 --> 01:29:23,129 -Mm-hmm. -Should I put down two? For you and Mabel? 1642 01:29:23,163 --> 01:29:24,064 Put three. 1643 01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:27,600 Mabel, me and Chloe. 1644 01:29:27,634 --> 01:29:29,602 OK. Three. 1645 01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:31,571 Finished. 1646 01:29:31,604 --> 01:29:32,605 Me too. 1647 01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:44,050 Daddy will love these. 1648 01:29:44,751 --> 01:29:46,152 They're perfect. 1649 01:29:46,186 --> 01:29:47,153 Yes. 1650 01:29:47,187 --> 01:29:48,755 Did you write one, Mummy? 1651 01:29:48,788 --> 01:29:50,156 I did. 1652 01:29:50,190 --> 01:29:52,492 Tomorrow, can we post them to Daddy? 1653 01:29:52,525 --> 01:29:53,626 Of course we can. 1654 01:30:01,534 --> 01:30:04,204 And Mark's birthday came as it always did... 1655 01:30:06,539 --> 01:30:10,910 like all the celebrations, Christmases and anniversaries. 1656 01:30:10,944 --> 01:30:13,713 All the love and all the pain. 1657 01:30:20,553 --> 01:30:22,555 OK. Ready? 1658 01:30:23,823 --> 01:30:24,991 On three. 1659 01:30:25,925 --> 01:30:29,462 One, two... 1660 01:30:37,070 --> 01:30:39,506 What am I going to do when I get to... 1661 01:30:39,539 --> 01:30:40,707 three. 1662 01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:28,154 What I have is what I love most in the world. 1663 01:31:28,922 --> 01:31:30,924 Billy and Mabel. 1664 01:31:30,957 --> 01:31:32,759 Just the three of us. 1665 01:31:41,868 --> 01:31:43,870 ♪ Whoo!♪ 1666 01:31:43,903 --> 01:31:46,006 - Mr Walliker. - Mrs Darcy. 1667 01:31:46,039 --> 01:31:48,074 ♪ Darling, you got to let me Know...♪ 1668 01:31:48,108 --> 01:31:49,876 Billy! 1669 01:31:49,909 --> 01:31:51,778 - Hello! - Hello! 1670 01:31:51,811 --> 01:31:52,779 Ready? 1671 01:31:54,647 --> 01:31:58,018 ♪ If you say that you are mine ♪ 1672 01:31:58,051 --> 01:32:01,087 ♪ I'll be here till the end Of time♪ 1673 01:32:02,922 --> 01:32:07,260 ♪ So you got to let me know♪ 1674 01:32:07,293 --> 01:32:09,796 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?♪ 1675 01:32:11,364 --> 01:32:14,167 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go now?♪ 1676 01:32:15,301 --> 01:32:18,571 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go now?♪ 1677 01:32:20,106 --> 01:32:24,044 ♪ If I go There will be trouble♪ 1678 01:32:24,077 --> 01:32:28,048 ♪ And if I stay It will be double♪ 1679 01:32:28,081 --> 01:32:32,619 ♪ So you gotta let me know♪ 1680 01:32:32,652 --> 01:32:35,321 ♪ Should I stay Or should I go?♪ 1681 01:32:35,355 --> 01:32:36,890 Have a good walk, then. 1682 01:32:36,923 --> 01:32:37,924 Thank you. 1683 01:32:37,957 --> 01:32:40,126 Bye. 1684 01:32:40,927 --> 01:32:42,095 All right, come in. 1685 01:32:42,796 --> 01:32:43,763 Now... 1686 01:32:46,066 --> 01:32:50,103 what this is not is a "walk." 1687 01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,039 We are about to embark as a team 1688 01:32:53,073 --> 01:32:55,809 on an orienteering adventure. 1689 01:32:55,842 --> 01:32:58,244 - So do you each have your compasses? - Yes! 1690 01:32:58,278 --> 01:33:00,814 - Do you each have your maps? - Yes! 1691 01:33:00,847 --> 01:33:03,149 Right then, you know your groups. Hands up, Otters! 1692 01:33:03,183 --> 01:33:07,220 You'll go along with Mr Collins and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha. 1693 01:33:07,253 --> 01:33:11,224 Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy. You've drawn the short straw, I'm afraid. 1694 01:33:11,257 --> 01:33:12,959 You'll be joining me and the Ospreys. 1695 01:33:12,992 --> 01:33:15,829 Now, this is very important. 1696 01:33:15,862 --> 01:33:20,266 Remember to open your eyes and look around. 1697 01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:22,268 This is one of the most 1698 01:33:22,302 --> 01:33:24,871 beautiful places on earth. 1699 01:33:26,806 --> 01:33:28,008 Enjoy it. 1700 01:33:28,041 --> 01:33:29,275 Let's go. 1701 01:33:31,344 --> 01:33:35,048 - You sure you're up to this, Mrs Darcy? - Absolutely! 1702 01:33:35,081 --> 01:33:36,416 I was a Queen's Guide. 1703 01:33:36,449 --> 01:33:39,352 Got my Pioneer badge. 1704 01:33:39,386 --> 01:33:42,989 I can rope, knot, splice and lash. 1705 01:33:43,023 --> 01:33:45,258 If you need anything tied up, 1706 01:33:45,291 --> 01:33:47,827 I'm your girl. 1707 01:33:47,861 --> 01:33:50,230 Right then. Bring up the rear. 1708 01:33:52,198 --> 01:33:54,901 Yes! Bringing up the rear! 1709 01:33:54,934 --> 01:33:56,336 Up! 1710 01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:58,171 We're gonna see much more water than that. 1711 01:33:58,204 --> 01:33:59,305 Up the rear! 1712 01:34:01,374 --> 01:34:02,375 Yep. 1713 01:34:02,409 --> 01:34:04,310 Make sure everybody's with us. 1714 01:34:23,329 --> 01:34:25,965 You can see the second waterfall, can't you? 1715 01:34:28,368 --> 01:34:30,437 Well, those two are together. 1716 01:34:42,215 --> 01:34:43,383 Coming! 1717 01:34:47,187 --> 01:34:48,822 Hurry along. Come on! 1718 01:34:55,895 --> 01:34:57,897 - Give me your hand. - Wow. So cool. 1719 01:34:57,931 --> 01:34:58,965 OK. 1720 01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:02,035 Right. 1721 01:35:03,103 --> 01:35:04,471 Is there a Wi-Fi password? 1722 01:35:04,504 --> 01:35:06,206 Oh, Atticus, don't be a pillock. 1723 01:35:06,239 --> 01:35:07,941 All right, take this tarp 1724 01:35:07,974 --> 01:35:09,843 and spread it out on the floor over there, all right? 1725 01:35:09,876 --> 01:35:11,311 Come on. 1726 01:35:11,344 --> 01:35:13,847 It's all right. It's dry. 1727 01:35:16,816 --> 01:35:19,519 Mrs Darcy, could you take that wheelbarrow, 1728 01:35:19,552 --> 01:35:21,788 pick up some firewood for when the rain stops? 1729 01:35:21,821 --> 01:35:23,356 Yep. 1730 01:35:23,390 --> 01:35:25,825 All right, everyone. Do your best to get dry. 1731 01:35:29,329 --> 01:35:31,498 Ding-fucking-dong. 1732 01:35:31,531 --> 01:35:32,999 Whenever you're ready. 1733 01:35:43,543 --> 01:35:45,445 Looks like we'll be here for a while. 1734 01:35:57,257 --> 01:35:59,325 It really is absolutely disgusting. 1735 01:35:59,359 --> 01:36:01,861 Burnt to a crisp. 1736 01:36:01,895 --> 01:36:03,963 I think you'll find it's a brûlée. 1737 01:36:07,400 --> 01:36:08,401 Come on, then. 1738 01:36:08,435 --> 01:36:10,203 Off to Bedfordshire. 1739 01:36:10,236 --> 01:36:12,072 Goodnight, Mr Walliker. 1740 01:36:12,105 --> 01:36:14,307 - Here we are. - Sleep well, team. 1741 01:36:14,341 --> 01:36:16,409 - Well done today. - Thank you. 1742 01:36:16,443 --> 01:36:18,111 Okay. Night night. 1743 01:36:19,579 --> 01:36:20,580 Goodnight. 1744 01:36:29,422 --> 01:36:31,491 Mission accomplished. 1745 01:36:31,524 --> 01:36:34,928 One barnful of sleeping children. 1746 01:36:34,961 --> 01:36:38,164 Don't get me wrong, I'm quite impressed by your resourcefulness, 1747 01:36:38,198 --> 01:36:39,933 but who travels to the Lake District 1748 01:36:39,966 --> 01:36:42,168 with a backpack full of marshmallows? 1749 01:36:42,202 --> 01:36:45,271 All parents know the marshmallow 1750 01:36:45,305 --> 01:36:48,208 is an essential tool, Mr Walliker. 1751 01:36:52,979 --> 01:36:54,881 Do you have children? 1752 01:36:54,914 --> 01:36:57,350 Uh, no. No, no, I never did any of that. 1753 01:36:58,351 --> 01:37:00,420 But, um... 1754 01:37:00,453 --> 01:37:02,055 It's funny. In the back of your mind, 1755 01:37:02,088 --> 01:37:04,324 you think it might happen, and... 1756 01:37:04,357 --> 01:37:06,192 But, you know, one day, 1757 01:37:06,226 --> 01:37:09,129 you're preparing a test for a periodic table... 1758 01:37:09,162 --> 01:37:13,533 ...and you realise it's the 27th one you've set, 1759 01:37:13,566 --> 01:37:15,969 and there's just never been time 1760 01:37:16,002 --> 01:37:18,304 to really think about having anything like a... 1761 01:37:18,338 --> 01:37:20,106 like a family in between. 1762 01:37:24,277 --> 01:37:25,445 But it's good. 1763 01:37:26,413 --> 01:37:28,348 It's good. I, uh... 1764 01:37:28,381 --> 01:37:29,649 Well, it suits me. 1765 01:37:31,284 --> 01:37:32,419 Mmm. 1766 01:37:33,987 --> 01:37:35,155 I see it does. 1767 01:37:38,391 --> 01:37:39,926 I mean, look at that. 1768 01:37:43,396 --> 01:37:44,531 All of it. 1769 01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:52,205 You asked me where's the wonder and the magic. 1770 01:37:54,341 --> 01:37:55,675 It's a good question. 1771 01:37:58,111 --> 01:37:59,412 I think it's here. 1772 01:38:00,680 --> 01:38:03,516 You don't believe in magic, Mr Walliker. 1773 01:38:03,550 --> 01:38:04,951 No. 1774 01:38:06,286 --> 01:38:07,687 Well, I've been thinking. 1775 01:38:19,132 --> 01:38:20,266 Mummy? 1776 01:38:20,300 --> 01:38:21,735 Atticus is really frightened. 1777 01:38:21,768 --> 01:38:24,738 He says his mum sings Puccini to him when he's scared. 1778 01:38:24,771 --> 01:38:29,275 Well, he might have to settle for some early Take That, 1779 01:38:29,309 --> 01:38:31,711 but I'll see what I can do, okay? 1780 01:38:33,046 --> 01:38:34,414 Mr Walliker, 1781 01:38:34,447 --> 01:38:36,516 do you mind if I sit here for a minute? 1782 01:38:36,549 --> 01:38:38,218 Of course. Sit down. 1783 01:38:53,566 --> 01:38:55,602 - Is there anything you want to... - It's just... 1784 01:38:56,503 --> 01:38:58,038 what if I forget him? 1785 01:38:59,205 --> 01:39:00,640 I don't wanna forget him. 1786 01:39:01,608 --> 01:39:03,476 But what if I do? 1787 01:39:10,083 --> 01:39:12,218 Let me tell you this, Billy, um... 1788 01:39:14,254 --> 01:39:18,091 Your dad is everywhere. 1789 01:39:20,193 --> 01:39:21,227 He's everywhere. 1790 01:39:22,095 --> 01:39:23,096 Right now... 1791 01:39:25,065 --> 01:39:26,533 in this moment. 1792 01:39:26,566 --> 01:39:28,768 And that's a scientific fact. 1793 01:39:30,337 --> 01:39:34,240 Energy is only transferred. 1794 01:39:35,342 --> 01:39:36,676 It can never be destroyed. 1795 01:39:37,544 --> 01:39:39,446 And more importantly, 1796 01:39:39,479 --> 01:39:41,548 your father is in you. 1797 01:39:43,516 --> 01:39:44,784 And Mabel. 1798 01:39:50,557 --> 01:39:52,058 Billy, tell me something... 1799 01:39:54,594 --> 01:39:55,762 one thing... 1800 01:39:57,197 --> 01:39:58,598 that you remember best 1801 01:39:59,366 --> 01:40:01,034 about your dad. 1802 01:40:11,678 --> 01:40:15,849 ♪ Another Christmas Is around the corner♪ 1803 01:40:15,882 --> 01:40:20,286 ♪ And I can feel us, darling Getting closer♪ 1804 01:40:20,320 --> 01:40:24,257 ♪ It's coming down the road And stopping it now♪ 1805 01:40:24,290 --> 01:40:28,194 ♪ Stopping it now Is impossible...♪ 1806 01:40:28,228 --> 01:40:29,162 Can we? 1807 01:40:30,296 --> 01:40:31,664 - May we. - Yes. 1808 01:40:31,698 --> 01:40:34,467 ♪ I built a snowman out The back♪ 1809 01:40:34,501 --> 01:40:39,272 ♪ It came alive And flew me Round this sleepy town♪ 1810 01:40:39,305 --> 01:40:42,342 ♪ I put an old scarf round Its neck...♪ 1811 01:40:42,375 --> 01:40:43,810 Careful! 1812 01:40:43,843 --> 01:40:45,378 ♪ And every time You kiss me...♪ 1813 01:40:45,412 --> 01:40:46,479 Chop-chop. 1814 01:40:46,513 --> 01:40:47,814 One, two. One, two. 1815 01:40:47,847 --> 01:40:49,416 May I have your hot chocolate? 1816 01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:52,218 - No. No! Marshmallows! - Yes. Yes. 1817 01:40:52,252 --> 01:40:55,422 Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat? Come on. 1818 01:40:55,455 --> 01:40:57,157 Is that all right? 1819 01:40:58,391 --> 01:41:00,527 - Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy. - No. 1820 01:41:00,560 --> 01:41:02,162 Show's starting. 1821 01:41:02,195 --> 01:41:04,297 Yes, of course. 1822 01:41:17,744 --> 01:41:19,646 - That sounds fantastic. - Yeah. 1823 01:41:19,679 --> 01:41:21,314 I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00. 1824 01:41:21,348 --> 01:41:23,717 Oh, for God's sake, Victor. 1825 01:41:23,750 --> 01:41:25,685 Fucking prick. 1826 01:41:30,423 --> 01:41:33,626 Bravo! Bravo. 1827 01:41:38,298 --> 01:41:40,900 Thank you, Eros and Atticus Soltani-Watkins. 1828 01:41:42,268 --> 01:41:44,604 Now, although it's not on the programme, 1829 01:41:44,637 --> 01:41:47,340 we do have one... one more song. 1830 01:41:47,374 --> 01:41:51,444 Um, I happen to know it means a lot to our singer. 1831 01:41:51,478 --> 01:41:55,682 And, um... well, this is his first-ever solo performance, 1832 01:41:56,816 --> 01:41:58,718 and I know he'll do himself proud. 1833 01:42:30,417 --> 01:42:34,721 ♪ I'd do anything♪ 1834 01:42:34,754 --> 01:42:39,659 ♪ For you, dear, anything♪ 1835 01:42:39,693 --> 01:42:44,597 ♪ For you mean everything♪ 1836 01:42:44,631 --> 01:42:48,601 ♪ To me♪ 1837 01:42:48,635 --> 01:42:50,503 ♪ I know that♪ 1838 01:42:50,537 --> 01:42:54,474 ♪ I'd go anywhere♪ 1839 01:42:54,507 --> 01:42:59,612 ♪ For your smile, anywhere♪ 1840 01:42:59,646 --> 01:43:02,549 ♪ For your smile♪ 1841 01:43:02,582 --> 01:43:08,688 ♪ Everywhere I'd see♪ 1842 01:43:08,722 --> 01:43:11,691 ♪ Would you climb a hill?♪ 1843 01:43:11,725 --> 01:43:13,293 ♪ Anything♪ 1844 01:43:13,326 --> 01:43:17,931 ♪ Wear a daffodil? Anything♪ 1845 01:43:17,964 --> 01:43:22,502 ♪ Leave me all your will? Anything♪ 1846 01:43:22,535 --> 01:43:25,839 ♪ Even fight my Bill?♪ 1847 01:43:25,872 --> 01:43:27,841 ♪ What? Fisticuffs?♪ 1848 01:43:27,874 --> 01:43:31,878 ♪ I'd risk everything♪ 1849 01:43:31,911 --> 01:43:36,549 ♪ For one kiss, everything♪ 1850 01:43:36,583 --> 01:43:41,488 ♪ Yes, I'd do anything♪ 1851 01:43:41,521 --> 01:43:43,723 ♪ Anything♪ 1852 01:43:43,757 --> 01:43:48,862 ♪ For you♪ 1853 01:44:01,675 --> 01:44:02,809 Go, Billy! 1854 01:44:07,514 --> 01:44:08,448 Bravo! 1855 01:44:43,416 --> 01:44:45,385 Oh, my darling. 1856 01:44:47,687 --> 01:44:50,657 Daddy would be so proud of you. 1857 01:44:50,690 --> 01:44:51,825 I know. 1858 01:44:54,127 --> 01:44:55,962 Well done, Billy. You nailed it. 1859 01:44:55,995 --> 01:44:58,398 - Were you surprised, Mum? - Yes. 1860 01:44:58,431 --> 01:45:00,467 - Genius. - Up top. 1861 01:45:02,435 --> 01:45:04,971 - So, can I have a sleepover with Bikram? - Yes. 1862 01:45:05,005 --> 01:45:06,940 - And did you bring my... - Yes. 1863 01:45:06,973 --> 01:45:09,109 Bikram! Nintendo! 1864 01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:13,847 Mr Walliker, Billy was... 1865 01:45:13,880 --> 01:45:16,016 The whole thing was... 1866 01:45:16,049 --> 01:45:19,452 - It was... - It was magic, Mrs Darcy. 1867 01:45:19,486 --> 01:45:21,121 No, it wasn't. 1868 01:45:21,154 --> 01:45:23,456 What you've done for Billy... 1869 01:45:24,858 --> 01:45:27,394 People talk about moving on like it means, 1870 01:45:27,427 --> 01:45:29,829 you know, leaving something behind, 1871 01:45:29,863 --> 01:45:31,965 you know, leaving someone you love behind, 1872 01:45:31,998 --> 01:45:34,534 but perhaps it's more that suddenly you see 1873 01:45:34,567 --> 01:45:37,904 you can live at the same time as all the things you've lost, 1874 01:45:37,937 --> 01:45:42,108 and that you can be happy even without them. 1875 01:45:42,142 --> 01:45:44,978 And tonight, I saw my son up there 1876 01:45:45,011 --> 01:45:48,715 and I understood for the first time in four years 1877 01:45:48,748 --> 01:45:50,850 that he's going to be okay. 1878 01:45:50,884 --> 01:45:52,919 And so, we're going to be okay. 1879 01:45:52,952 --> 01:45:54,688 And you did that, Mr Walliker. 1880 01:45:54,721 --> 01:45:56,089 It wasn't magic. 1881 01:45:57,023 --> 01:45:58,992 It was you. 1882 01:45:59,025 --> 01:46:03,730 So, I'll overlook your tendency to be a little aloof... 1883 01:46:03,763 --> 01:46:05,799 Some might call it condescending. 1884 01:46:05,832 --> 01:46:07,600 Supercilious is a good word 1885 01:46:07,634 --> 01:46:11,471 and you probably don't hear it enough, but the point is... 1886 01:46:14,607 --> 01:46:15,675 thank you. 1887 01:46:17,844 --> 01:46:19,012 Mr Walliker? 1888 01:46:20,647 --> 01:46:23,049 We're going to The Spaniards for a drink. 1889 01:46:23,083 --> 01:46:26,753 Um, and if you wanted to come, 1890 01:46:26,786 --> 01:46:29,222 well, we'd be there 1891 01:46:29,255 --> 01:46:33,793 because that's where we'll be. 1892 01:46:33,827 --> 01:46:36,996 Can't be taught. Can't be taught. It was unbelievable. 1893 01:46:37,030 --> 01:46:38,898 - Mrs Darcy. - The flautists, an absolute triumph. 1894 01:46:38,932 --> 01:46:41,101 One of the best Christmas shows I've ever seen. 1895 01:46:41,134 --> 01:46:43,636 Christmas shows don't get much better than that. Extraordinary. 1896 01:46:43,670 --> 01:46:45,839 No, it doesn't. Don't look at me like that. 1897 01:46:45,872 --> 01:46:47,707 - Billy! How did it go? - Billy! 1898 01:46:47,741 --> 01:46:48,875 - I did a solo. - Oh! 1899 01:46:48,908 --> 01:46:50,176 Congratulations. 1900 01:46:50,210 --> 01:46:52,512 Come here. Have a squidge. 1901 01:46:52,545 --> 01:46:54,514 He was brilliant. 1902 01:46:54,547 --> 01:46:56,182 - Hello, Mabel. How are you? - Well done. I bet you were. 1903 01:46:56,216 --> 01:46:58,118 - Chloe has a video. - You look lovely. 1904 01:46:58,151 --> 01:46:59,753 - There's a video? - A video? 1905 01:46:59,786 --> 01:47:01,021 Chloe? Video? 1906 01:47:02,589 --> 01:47:03,890 Congratulations. 1907 01:47:03,923 --> 01:47:05,525 Hi. Uh, four, uh... 1908 01:47:05,558 --> 01:47:07,694 large glasses of white wine, please. 1909 01:47:07,727 --> 01:47:09,062 Wine. Wine. 1910 01:47:09,095 --> 01:47:11,131 Oh, house white. Party petrol. 1911 01:47:11,164 --> 01:47:13,767 - Bikram's here! - Your wine, ladies. 1912 01:47:13,800 --> 01:47:16,803 - What are you doing down there? - Nothing. 1913 01:47:16,836 --> 01:47:19,005 - Well, there we go. - Congratulations, darling. 1914 01:47:19,039 --> 01:47:21,041 - To Billy. - He was wonderful. Billy. 1915 01:47:21,074 --> 01:47:23,209 - Absolutely wonderful. - Yes. 1916 01:47:23,243 --> 01:47:26,513 But I can tell you, I... I knew from his glow it was a triumph. 1917 01:47:26,546 --> 01:47:28,148 No, honestly. 1918 01:47:28,181 --> 01:47:30,116 I mean, once you've tasted success... 1919 01:47:32,318 --> 01:47:34,154 You had literally one song, Tom. 1920 01:47:34,187 --> 01:47:36,690 Yes, you know, my mother always says 1921 01:47:36,723 --> 01:47:39,192 if you've got nothing nice to say, then shut the fuck up. 1922 01:47:39,225 --> 01:47:41,061 Your mother's right, so shut the fuck up. 1923 01:47:41,094 --> 01:47:43,096 We should never shut the fuck up. 1924 01:47:43,129 --> 01:47:45,565 Stop telling everyone else to shut the fuck up. 1925 01:47:45,598 --> 01:47:47,567 We can, yes. 1926 01:47:50,270 --> 01:47:52,872 - No. Come on. - Good overtaking. 1927 01:47:52,906 --> 01:47:54,674 No, I didn't. That was him. 1928 01:47:54,708 --> 01:47:56,543 Mum. That way. 1929 01:48:03,283 --> 01:48:04,751 Mr Walliker! 1930 01:48:06,686 --> 01:48:07,854 Aren't you coming in? 1931 01:48:07,887 --> 01:48:09,856 Well, actually, I was. I... 1932 01:48:09,889 --> 01:48:11,758 I wanted to say something to you, 1933 01:48:11,791 --> 01:48:13,259 but it's the wrong time. 1934 01:48:13,293 --> 01:48:15,662 You're there with everyone, and... 1935 01:48:15,695 --> 01:48:18,231 I'm better with people about 4 foot tall. 1936 01:48:18,264 --> 01:48:22,035 4'1". That's my sweet spot, as it turns out, so... 1937 01:48:23,136 --> 01:48:24,804 Where are you going? 1938 01:48:29,843 --> 01:48:32,679 Well, look, I really just wanted to discuss Newton. 1939 01:48:32,712 --> 01:48:34,314 Newton? 1940 01:48:34,347 --> 01:48:37,350 I mean, we already covered Newton's second law, gravity, 1941 01:48:37,384 --> 01:48:39,919 in the tree when you were pretending not to be stuck. 1942 01:48:39,953 --> 01:48:43,790 But the one that's always fascinated me isn't the second law. 1943 01:48:43,823 --> 01:48:46,960 I mean, any idiot can see that an apple's gonna fall down. 1944 01:48:46,993 --> 01:48:48,294 What's it gonna do, fall up? 1945 01:48:48,328 --> 01:48:50,597 It's a hopelessly overrated law, the second. 1946 01:48:50,630 --> 01:48:53,800 No, the one that's always interested me is the third law. 1947 01:48:53,833 --> 01:48:55,301 You'll know what that is. 1948 01:48:55,335 --> 01:48:56,636 Yes. 1949 01:48:56,670 --> 01:48:59,606 Of course. But go on. 1950 01:48:59,639 --> 01:49:03,143 For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. 1951 01:49:03,176 --> 01:49:05,245 It's a fundamental law of our universe. 1952 01:49:05,278 --> 01:49:07,781 It's, uh... It's an inescapable fact of our existence, 1953 01:49:07,814 --> 01:49:09,883 and I was coming to say that you are... 1954 01:49:11,051 --> 01:49:14,087 this force, Mrs Darcy... 1955 01:49:15,321 --> 01:49:16,256 to me. 1956 01:49:18,191 --> 01:49:21,795 Equal and... opposite. 1957 01:49:21,828 --> 01:49:26,299 And just as Newton predicted, it's irresistible. 1958 01:49:28,835 --> 01:49:29,803 I see it. 1959 01:49:32,105 --> 01:49:34,641 Right now, just standing here, I feel it, 1960 01:49:34,674 --> 01:49:38,078 and it's as real to me as the things I loved when I was a boy 1961 01:49:38,111 --> 01:49:40,080 and first started looking at the world. 1962 01:49:40,113 --> 01:49:42,716 You see, it's not really order 1963 01:49:42,749 --> 01:49:46,052 that we science people fall in love with, Mrs Darcy, 1964 01:49:46,086 --> 01:49:48,121 it's the beauty in things. 1965 01:49:50,857 --> 01:49:52,125 The beauty, 1966 01:49:52,892 --> 01:49:54,227 to be specific... 1967 01:49:57,864 --> 01:49:59,199 in you. 1968 01:50:03,903 --> 01:50:05,205 Oh. 1969 01:50:06,072 --> 01:50:08,408 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 1970 01:50:08,441 --> 01:50:10,343 - I don't know what I was thinking. - No, no. 1971 01:50:10,377 --> 01:50:12,345 This is exactly why I decided not to come in. 1972 01:50:12,379 --> 01:50:14,347 I've clearly got entirely the wrong end of the... 1973 01:50:14,381 --> 01:50:15,982 - Mr Walliker... - Look, I just want you to know 1974 01:50:16,016 --> 01:50:17,951 that this is not going to be awkward at all. At all. 1975 01:50:17,984 --> 01:50:20,687 - Please stop talking. - With Billy and school. 1976 01:50:20,720 --> 01:50:22,956 Let's just pretend this never happened, please. Let's just... 1977 01:50:39,039 --> 01:50:41,408 It was either that or a whistle, 1978 01:50:41,441 --> 01:50:44,444 and I haven't got a whistle, Mr Walliker. 1979 01:50:46,913 --> 01:50:48,448 Call me Scott, for God's sake. 1980 01:50:50,316 --> 01:50:51,851 Yes, Mr Walliker. 1981 01:51:09,803 --> 01:51:12,906 Right, shake it, shake it, shake it. No, go mad. 1982 01:51:12,939 --> 01:51:14,407 That's it. Now pour it out. 1983 01:51:15,475 --> 01:51:16,443 Very good. 1984 01:51:17,210 --> 01:51:19,279 Insert one cherry. 1985 01:51:19,312 --> 01:51:22,716 And that, my friends, is how we make a Dirty Bitch. 1986 01:51:24,784 --> 01:51:28,054 Christ. That may even be a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round. 1987 01:51:28,088 --> 01:51:30,957 Now, similar but not at all the same, 1988 01:51:31,825 --> 01:51:33,026 the Bad Mummy. 1989 01:51:33,059 --> 01:51:34,928 Little bit of vodka. 1990 01:51:34,961 --> 01:51:36,363 - Yeah? - Come here. 1991 01:51:36,396 --> 01:51:38,365 Okay, you're in charge. 1992 01:51:44,070 --> 01:51:45,939 Is that who I think it is? 1993 01:51:45,972 --> 01:51:48,141 So they tell me, yeah. What do you think? 1994 01:51:48,174 --> 01:51:50,377 You have sad eyes, angelo mio. 1995 01:51:50,410 --> 01:51:53,046 Why so sad? They make me sad. 1996 01:51:53,079 --> 01:51:54,814 I want to see the smile. 1997 01:51:54,848 --> 01:51:56,016 Stop it. 1998 01:51:56,049 --> 01:51:57,817 He's 16! 1999 01:51:57,851 --> 01:51:59,519 Yeah. Late starter. 2000 01:51:59,552 --> 01:52:01,321 Where in Italy are you from? 2001 01:52:01,354 --> 01:52:03,189 - Bologna. - Bologna. 2002 01:52:03,223 --> 01:52:04,391 - Yeah. - Say it again. 2003 01:52:04,424 --> 01:52:06,226 - Bologna. - Bologna. 2004 01:52:06,259 --> 01:52:08,128 Enzo, the kids are gonna watch a movie upstairs. You coming? 2005 01:52:08,161 --> 01:52:09,262 He'll stay. 2006 01:52:11,031 --> 01:52:11,998 Boys. 2007 01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:15,368 I think you're proud. 2008 01:52:15,402 --> 01:52:17,237 Relief, really, Jones. 2009 01:52:17,270 --> 01:52:18,972 Kin, as you said. 2010 01:52:20,407 --> 01:52:22,075 - Enzo. - Yeah? 2011 01:52:22,108 --> 01:52:23,410 Vieni qua. 2012 01:52:23,443 --> 01:52:25,011 - I beg your pardon. - Okay. 2013 01:52:25,045 --> 01:52:27,113 - Ciao. - Ciao. 2014 01:52:27,147 --> 01:52:29,049 This is your hostess 2015 01:52:29,082 --> 01:52:32,085 and one of the great loves of your father's life, Bridget Jones. 2016 01:52:34,954 --> 01:52:36,389 Ooh! 2017 01:52:36,423 --> 01:52:39,092 It's nice to meet you, Enzo. 2018 01:52:40,627 --> 01:52:43,296 He says it is a great honour to meet you. 2019 01:52:43,329 --> 01:52:46,566 Oh! 2020 01:52:48,468 --> 01:52:51,137 And then he says that those are 2021 01:52:51,171 --> 01:52:53,440 very, very silly little boots. 2022 01:52:56,576 --> 01:52:58,978 You have incredible posture. 2023 01:53:00,146 --> 01:53:01,448 You're not Danish, are you? 2024 01:53:01,481 --> 01:53:03,283 Well, I can be anything you want. 2025 01:53:03,316 --> 01:53:05,452 It is, isn't it? I know, and it's working really well for you, 2026 01:53:05,485 --> 01:53:07,554 but all I'm saying is maybe it's time for a rebrand. 2027 01:53:07,587 --> 01:53:09,589 Have you ever thought about having a pixie cut? 2028 01:53:09,622 --> 01:53:11,057 No. 2029 01:53:11,091 --> 01:53:12,392 Oh, you have the face for it. 2030 01:53:12,425 --> 01:53:14,427 And it's utterly changed my life. 2031 01:53:14,461 --> 01:53:17,030 Nonsense, Pam. You're perfect just as you are. 2032 01:53:17,063 --> 01:53:18,865 Is that a Dirty Bitch? 2033 01:53:19,666 --> 01:53:21,434 Steady on. 2034 01:53:21,468 --> 01:53:24,137 Oh, yes, please. Yes, thank you very much. 2035 01:53:24,170 --> 01:53:25,939 Thanks. 2036 01:53:25,972 --> 01:53:27,440 - Just what the doctor ordered. - Me too. 2037 01:53:27,474 --> 01:53:30,243 - Always. Take a horn. - Give me the fucking horn. 2038 01:53:30,276 --> 01:53:32,012 - Thank you, thank you. - Yep. 2039 01:53:32,045 --> 01:53:35,482 - Mmm. Oh. - Mmm. Mmm. 2040 01:53:35,515 --> 01:53:38,985 I'll be honest, I don't know what I'd have done in the past 20 years without you lot. 2041 01:53:39,019 --> 01:53:41,521 - Twenty? - No, it's not. It's thirty? 2042 01:53:41,554 --> 01:53:43,490 Yeah, it's more like 30 years, to be honest. 2043 01:53:43,523 --> 01:53:45,959 We've had some fucking fun though, haven't we? 2044 01:53:49,229 --> 01:53:50,897 We have. 2045 01:53:52,365 --> 01:53:55,935 Ten, nine, eight, 2046 01:53:55,969 --> 01:53:59,339 seven, six, five, 2047 01:53:59,372 --> 01:54:01,975 four, three, 2048 01:54:02,008 --> 01:54:04,110 two, one! 2049 01:54:04,144 --> 01:54:06,980 Happy New Year! 2050 01:54:10,984 --> 01:54:12,352 ♪ ...be forgot♪ 2051 01:54:12,385 --> 01:54:15,255 ♪ And never brought to mind?♪ 2052 01:54:15,288 --> 01:54:16,956 Happy New Year. 2053 01:54:16,990 --> 01:54:20,994 ♪ Should auld acquaintance Be forgot♪ 2054 01:54:21,027 --> 01:54:25,331 ♪ For the sake Of auld lang syne?♪ 2055 01:54:25,365 --> 01:54:29,569 ♪ For auld lang syne, my dear♪ 2056 01:54:29,602 --> 01:54:34,107 ♪ For auld lang syne♪ 2057 01:54:34,140 --> 01:54:38,611 ♪ We'll take a cup Of kindness yet♪ 2058 01:54:38,645 --> 01:54:42,982 ♪ For the sake Of auld lang syne♪ 2059 01:56:23,650 --> 01:56:25,151 I forgot to check. 2060 01:56:30,357 --> 01:56:31,291 Look. 2061 01:56:59,252 --> 01:57:00,286 Goodnight. 2062 01:57:19,406 --> 01:57:20,874 Ooh. 2063 01:57:20,907 --> 01:57:22,575 Bloody zip. 2064 01:57:27,547 --> 01:57:30,817 Bastard tyrannical dress people. 2065 01:57:35,722 --> 01:57:37,090 I've got it. 2066 01:57:40,293 --> 01:57:41,594 Thank you. 2067 01:57:47,367 --> 01:57:48,735 Happy New Year. 2068 01:57:48,768 --> 01:57:51,271 Happy New Year. 2069 01:58:32,779 --> 01:58:36,349 ♪ I could go back to The old place ♪ 2070 01:58:36,383 --> 01:58:39,753 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2071 01:58:39,786 --> 01:58:43,623 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2072 01:58:43,656 --> 01:58:46,893 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2073 01:58:46,926 --> 01:58:50,697 ♪ They say no need to Look behind me ♪ 2074 01:58:50,730 --> 01:58:54,267 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2075 01:58:54,300 --> 01:58:57,837 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2076 01:58:57,871 --> 01:59:02,542 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2077 01:59:09,883 --> 01:59:14,254 ♪ There's a lot of ground To cover ♪ 2078 01:59:14,287 --> 01:59:16,956 ♪ One foot and then the other ♪ 2079 01:59:16,990 --> 01:59:22,395 ♪ On my way, my way To somewhere new ♪ 2080 01:59:24,330 --> 01:59:27,867 ♪ A few false starts Can you forgive this ♪ 2081 01:59:27,901 --> 01:59:31,338 ♪ Cautious car and just bear with it ♪ 2082 01:59:31,371 --> 01:59:36,976 ♪ While it does what I thought it couldn't do ♪ 2083 01:59:37,010 --> 01:59:40,847 ♪ I could go back to The old place ♪ 2084 01:59:40,880 --> 01:59:44,384 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2085 01:59:44,417 --> 01:59:48,021 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2086 01:59:48,054 --> 01:59:51,424 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2087 01:59:51,458 --> 01:59:55,028 ♪ They say no need to Look behind me ♪ 2088 01:59:55,061 --> 01:59:58,565 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2089 01:59:58,598 --> 02:00:02,435 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2090 02:00:02,469 --> 02:00:07,040 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2091 02:00:12,479 --> 02:00:14,481 ♪ Mmm ♪ 2092 02:00:14,514 --> 02:00:18,451 ♪ Treading lightly Thinking slightly ♪ 2093 02:00:18,485 --> 02:00:21,821 ♪ It just might be It just might be ♪ 2094 02:00:21,855 --> 02:00:25,358 ♪ Treading lightly Thinking slightly ♪ 2095 02:00:25,392 --> 02:00:28,928 ♪ It just might be It just might be ♪ 2096 02:00:28,962 --> 02:00:30,864 ♪ It just might be ♪ 2097 02:00:30,897 --> 02:00:34,467 ♪ Oh, I can go back to The old place ♪ 2098 02:00:34,501 --> 02:00:38,071 ♪ And write your name On every blank page ♪ 2099 02:00:38,104 --> 02:00:41,908 ♪ But it's a story now Just a story now ♪ 2100 02:00:41,941 --> 02:00:45,378 ♪ Just the kind of thing that You'd say ♪ 2101 02:00:45,412 --> 02:00:48,948 ♪ That there's no need to Look behind me ♪ 2102 02:00:48,982 --> 02:00:52,585 ♪ That I can keep you Here beside me ♪ 2103 02:00:52,619 --> 02:00:56,322 ♪ To make a mess of it To make the best of it ♪ 2104 02:00:56,356 --> 02:01:00,794 ♪ It isn't perfect But it might be ♪ 2105 02:01:04,531 --> 02:01:06,433 ♪ Like it might be ♪ 2106 02:01:07,834 --> 02:01:10,570 ♪ Like it might be ♪ 2107 02:01:12,572 --> 02:01:16,810 ♪ Whoo, whoo ♪ 2108 02:01:19,713 --> 02:01:23,083 ♪ Might be, might be Might be ♪ 2109 02:01:24,918 --> 02:01:27,587 ["Have You Met Miss Jones?" 2110 02:01:34,694 --> 02:01:38,031 ♪ "Have you met Miss Jones?" ♪ 2111 02:01:38,064 --> 02:01:42,902 ♪ Someone said as We shook hands ♪ 2112 02:01:42,936 --> 02:01:48,575 ♪ She was just Miss Jones To me ♪ 2113 02:01:49,976 --> 02:01:54,114 ♪ And then I said "Miss Jones ♪" 2114 02:01:54,147 --> 02:01:58,118 ♪ You're a girl Who understands ♪ 2115 02:01:58,151 --> 02:02:04,424 ♪ I'm a man Who must be free" ♪ 2116 02:02:04,457 --> 02:02:08,428 ♪ And all at once I lost my breath ♪ 2117 02:02:08,461 --> 02:02:12,032 ♪ And all at once Was scared to death ♪ 2118 02:02:12,065 --> 02:02:14,701 ♪ And all at once ♪ 2119 02:02:14,734 --> 02:02:21,708 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪ 2120 02:02:21,741 --> 02:02:25,979 ♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪ 2121 02:02:26,012 --> 02:02:31,851 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die ♪ 2122 02:02:31,885 --> 02:02:34,487 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2123 02:02:36,756 --> 02:02:38,024 ♪ Whoa, fellas ♪ 2124 02:03:15,061 --> 02:03:18,898 ♪ And all at once I lost my breath ♪ 2125 02:03:18,932 --> 02:03:22,869 ♪ And all at once Was scared to death ♪ 2126 02:03:22,902 --> 02:03:25,505 ♪ And all at once ♪ 2127 02:03:25,538 --> 02:03:30,477 ♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪ 2128 02:03:32,112 --> 02:03:36,049 ♪ Now I've met Miss Jones ♪ 2129 02:03:36,082 --> 02:03:42,589 ♪ And we'll keep on meeting 'til we die ♪ 2130 02:03:42,622 --> 02:03:45,492 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2131 02:03:46,693 --> 02:03:48,995 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2132 02:03:50,230 --> 02:03:52,699 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2133 02:03:54,701 --> 02:04:01,574 ♪ Miss Jones and I ♪ 2134 02:04:05,712 --> 02:04:07,013 ♪ Ha! ♪